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Granted, cuz there's a effin' edit button. Now you died in a plane crash, lol.

I wish my zombie-cat map would finally get featured...

Granted, but everyone thinks it sucks and throws their expensive popcorn and coke at the screen. Then once they've all left, a real zombie-cat comes up to you and says "OMG wat did u doo?? nao ALL ZOMBEHCATZ look bad!! Il bite ur fac off, u idiot!" and jumps up to bite your face off. You die in a plane crash, lol.

I wish for an outer space monorail system.

Granted, and you oversee its construction. but it's built by 3 inch tall aliens from z6asdg and humans aren't allowed access anyway. the aliens slowly manipulate human industry until we are essentially their slaves, and then they honor you as the human who made it all possible. you live a life of luxury as the rest of our race slowly decays into poverty and misery, but your conscience slowly nags because the woman you loved was sold into manual labor. in an attempt to rescue her and undo a small, small fraction of the massive pain you have caused, your plasma rifle jams and explodes highly energized gas into your lungs. you die a slow death of cancer, radiation sickness, and asphyxiation as the love of your life frees herself from her captors, using your death as a distraction. She doesn't remember your name.

I wish I had Shinigami eyes.

Granted, but you see an assassin and start freaking out. The assassin, seeing you, assumes you know that he's an assassin. He takes you out so you won't tell anyone the truth... <.<

I wish to die instantaneously and painlessly.

(Side note: Am I the only one trying to think of wishes that can't get corrupted? :D)

Wish granted, but then you are buried in Canada :O

I wish I was a little bit taller.

I WISH I WAS LITTLE BIT TALLER,
I WISH I WAS A BALLER
I WISH I HAD A GIRL WHO LOOKED GOOD
I WOULD CALL HER
I WISH I HAD A RABBIT IN A HAT WITH A BAT
AND A '64 IMPALA

Erm, anyway. You go for a tour in the giant swinging blade factory, and... do I need to go on?

I wish for an iPad.

Granted. Now you have an iPad.

I wish I were in a state of eternal infinite bliss which could not be interrupted and never got boring

Granted, but in the world outside of your cosy little hallucination, you're a vegetable who is indecently assaulted day in, day out by foreign sailors.

I wish red was called blue.

Granted, but due to a subsequent renaming of all colors, oranges cease to exist. All the orange trees in the world start producing antimatter, warping earth's gravity until we all either get squished or float away and die.

I wish my new lamp would get put up so I wouldn't have to work in the dark.

Heartattack wrote:Wish granted, but then you are buried in Canada :O.

This makes me upset...

Granted but the bulb flickers at all times like in a horror movie and you get paranoid and inadvertently kill yoursef with a shotgun.

I wish BlOps would hurry up and get released

Universezero wrote:I wish for an iPad.

Scrivener wrote:Granted. Now you have an iPad.

That made me crack up xD

Granted, but instead of releasing the game you so desperately desire, they release a deathly creature known as a 'BLOPS', which hunts down and kills every living human, robot, android, and mammal to exist on earth. This also screws around with nature something terrible, causing a great apocalypse that you get to witness as the BLOPS that you wanted to be released devours you slowly.

I'm trying to relate this to a plane crash, but I think I'll stop there.


I wish for more good Futurama episodes.

Granted, but the voice actors get replaced. Hooray for good writing but terrible voicing!

I wish that Australia was less humid during October.

Granted, now it's freezing all year around.

I wish my computer's defragmenter would hurry up.

Granted; then I steal your computer.

I wish for a new television remote.

Granted; then I steal your remote.

I wish to live for as long as I like.

Granted. Then I kill you.

I wish for a some lemon peel. o_O

Granted, but you must eat it.

I wish for the person above me to become a homosexual.

Granted, now "Granted, but you must eat it" is homosexual.

I wish my N data stopped killing itself...

Nobody can grant that.

I wish my crazy paving could form coherent sentences.

Granted; it's in l33t-speak.

I wish there was another planet in out solar system that could sustain life.

Granted, but then they come and steal earth's water.

I wish we could have a resource based economy, and essentially live like the people in Wall-E except not fat.

Granted, but then everyone is now anorexic like a common Hollywood superstar.

I wish life had a reset button.

Granted. You are Justin Bieber.

I wish people stopped listening to Justin Bieber shit.

Granted. Now they all listen to One Direction.

I wish people in general could work together as a team better.

Granted. Everyone is killed by the T-1000 that was built as a team.

I wish I knew Japanese.