The shittest movies in the entire history of the world

Discuss entertainment media here, including TV, cinema, the Internet, books and literature, and other non-musical works or multimedia productions.
User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.04.29 (22:43)

a happy song wrote:I watched The Spirit last night.
...
What did you guys think of it?

I watched The Spirit with two of my friends. About one-third of the way into the movie, we had a discussion and concluded that we ought to be watching it as though it were a comedy, a satire of not only the content of Sin City but its direction and production as well. After we spent some time talking about how the first third of the movie was better explained under this new paradigm, we continued watching and enjoyed the movie thoroughly.
As a standalone movie, I'd give it a 4 or 5 out of 10.
As Film Noir Movie!, I'd give it closer to an 8 or 9.
"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai


spoiler

Image


Unsavory Conquistador of the Western Front
Posts: 1540
Joined: 2008.09.19 (12:19)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Kablizzy
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Huntington, WV
Contact:

Postby Kablizzy » 2010.04.30 (03:03)

Image
vankusss wrote:What 'more time' means?
I'm going to buy some ham.

User avatar
Not So Awesome Blossom
Posts: 2528
Joined: 2008.09.26 (21:28)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
Steam: www.steamcommunity.com/id/
Location: USA

Postby Vyacheslav » 2010.04.30 (04:15)

Smörgåsbord wrote:Turkish Star Wars and The Room.


Ugh, The Room...
Image

User avatar
Mr. Glass
Posts: 2018
Joined: 2008.09.27 (20:22)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/astheoceansblue
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: up down left right start A start

Postby a happy song » 2010.04.30 (10:19)

click sig :::
spoiler


n
::: astheoceansblue
::: My eight episode map pack: SUNSHINEscience
::: Map Theory: The Importance of Function & Form

-
M U S I C
::: The forest and the fire: myspace
::: EP available for FREE download, here.

-
A R T
::: Sig & Avatar Artwork by me - see here!

-
G A M I N G
::: Steam ID: 0:1:20950734
::: Steam Username: brighter


User avatar
Depressing
Posts: 1977
Joined: 2008.09.26 (06:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/rennaT
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Trenton, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Postby Tanner » 2010.04.30 (13:06)

Image
Image
'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak

dreams slip through our fingers like hott slut sexxx
Posts: 3896
Joined: 2009.01.14 (15:41)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Tunco123
MBTI Type: INTJ
Location: Istanbul

Postby Tunco » 2010.04.30 (16:26)

Smörgåsbord wrote:Turkish Star Wars

It's a classic in our country. Good stuff to laugh about. :D
spoiler

Image


User avatar
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 1318
Joined: 2008.12.04 (01:16)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/maxson924
Location: Tampa
Contact:

Postby Rose » 2010.04.30 (16:36)

ghoulash wrote:
maxson924 wrote:
Blackson wrote:Any movie with Adam Sandler or/and Will Ferrel in it because Adam Sandler or/and Will Ferrel are in it.


Elf was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

Yuuuuuuck.


I have never found anyone irl who didn't like Elf. I'm honestly surprised o_o
Image

User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.05.01 (04:08)

Smörgåsbord wrote:Turkish Star Wars

Why would you make me aware of the existence of this when I have so much work to do over the weekend? You must know that I have to watch this now.

"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai




spoiler

Image



User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.05.02 (01:55)

Okay, what the fuck was that?
I made it to the 11:26 mark, and cannot continue.

Image

"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai




spoiler

Image



Unsavory Conquistador of the Western Front
Posts: 1540
Joined: 2008.09.19 (12:19)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Kablizzy
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Huntington, WV
Contact:

Postby Kablizzy » 2010.05.02 (02:39)

Tsukatu wrote:Okay, what the fuck was that?
I made it to the 11:26 mark, and cannot continue.


Ahahahah. Ahahahahah. Aheh. Hoo. You're welcome, man. Glad I could help.
Image
vankusss wrote:What 'more time' means?
I'm going to buy some ham.

User avatar
Diagnosis Mohawk: Bahrain Cock Theory
Posts: 1404
Joined: 2008.09.23 (13:25)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/spawn_of_yanni
MBTI Type: ENFJ
Location: Pittsburgh

Postby Spawn of Yanni » 2010.05.05 (04:19)

Tsukatu wrote:Okay, what the fuck was that?
I made it to the 11:26 mark, and cannot continue.

Is that actually where you stopped? I'm currently watching the most amazing fight sequence about five minutes on from that.

What the fuck is with the Indiana Jones music?
Image
feline disrespect from behind

User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.05.05 (08:40)

Spawn of Yanni wrote:
Tsukatu wrote:Okay, what the fuck was that?
I made it to the 11:26 mark, and cannot continue.

Is that actually where you stopped?

On the dot.
Is it worth it to continue for the fight scene?

"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai




spoiler

Image



Unsavory Conquistador of the Western Front
Posts: 1540
Joined: 2008.09.19 (12:19)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Kablizzy
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Huntington, WV
Contact:

Postby Kablizzy » 2010.05.06 (04:44)

Spawn of Yanni wrote:
Tsukatu wrote:Okay, what the fuck was that?
I made it to the 11:26 mark, and cannot continue.

Is that actually where you stopped? I'm currently watching the most amazing fight sequence about five minutes on from that.

What the fuck is with the Indiana Jones music?


They ripped off the soundtrack for the movie from 20-25 other movies of the time.
Image
vankusss wrote:What 'more time' means?
I'm going to buy some ham.

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2010.05.06 (17:21)

I ... don't know what to say. Kablizzy, that actually is the worst movie ever made. I take my hat off to you.
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Not So Awesome Blossom
Posts: 2528
Joined: 2008.09.26 (21:28)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
Steam: www.steamcommunity.com/id/
Location: USA

Postby Vyacheslav » 2010.05.06 (17:56)

This is unrelated, but there is some really bad video art out there. There's this show at the Guggenheim right now and it's a series of different angles of an old man sitting in a wheelchair in front of a mirrored wall.
Image

User avatar
Unsavory Conquistador of the Western Front
Posts: 1552
Joined: 2008.09.26 (05:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/origami_alligator
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: Portland, Oregon

Postby origami_alligator » 2010.05.18 (17:42)

a happy song wrote:I watched The Spirit last night.
...
What did you guys think of it?

Not even Samuel L. Jackson could save that movie.
Image
.,,,,,@

"Listening intently, the thoughts linger ever vibrant. Imagine knowledge intertwined, nostalgiacally guiding/embracing."
<Kaglaxyclax> >>> southpaw has earned the achievement "Heartbreaker".
Promoted to the rank of Ultimate Four by LittleViking
[15:34] <Brttrx> ADDICTION IS GOOD, MR BAD INFLUENCE
[20:05] <southpaw> 8:05pm, Wednesday, 29 April, 2009, southpaw completed N.
[22:49] <makinero> is it orange-orange-gold yellow gold silverthread forest urban chic orange-gold?


User avatar
Jedi Pimp
Posts: 667
Joined: 2008.09.28 (02:54)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/bobaganuesh_2
Location: Manitoba, Canada

Postby bobaganuesh_2 » 2010.05.24 (23:47)

Will Smith's remake of The Karate Kid looks like "the shittest" movie ever to appear before my eyes. like, how can you confuse karate with kung fu?

Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir
Posts: 1561
Joined: 2008.09.26 (12:33)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/incluye
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: USofA
Contact:

Postby otters » 2010.05.25 (01:55)

Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. The Twilight Saga: New Moon. (My experience with that one was improved since I watched it with the accompaniment of Rifftrax.) Eragon. Any movies made by Disney within the last 200 years that end in "II" or "III" or include "The Return of."

"Taken" was pretty bad, not because of the actual content of the film but because it's been done so many times, the character development is poor and because it's only 90 minutes long, if that.

Transformers 2 was the most ridiculously bad sequel I've seen. I did not appreciate the half-hour fight scene at the end, especially since in the new Transformer fights it's impossible to tell who's who. (Call me crazy, but I expressly enjoyed Transformers 1.)
Image

User avatar
Demon Fisherman
Posts: 1246
Joined: 2008.10.01 (23:37)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/squibbles
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Canberra
Contact:

Postby squibbles » 2010.05.25 (03:12)

incluye wrote:Any movies made by Disney within the last 200 years that end in "II" or "III" or include "The Return of."


THE LITTLE MERMAID 3: THE RETURN OF URSULA.
Coming soon to a Theater near you.
spoiler

Nmaps.net

Tsukatu wrote:I don't know what it is, squibbles, but my brain keeps inserting "black" into random parts of your posts these days.
I totally just read that as, "I'd hate to be the only black guy stuck using v1.4."


Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir
Posts: 1561
Joined: 2008.09.26 (12:33)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/incluye
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: USofA
Contact:

Postby otters » 2010.05.25 (20:32)

squibbles wrote:
incluye wrote:Any movies made by Disney within the last 200 years that end in "II" or "III" or include "The Return of."


THE LITTLE MERMAID 3: THE RETURN OF URSULA.
Coming soon to a Theater near you.

Raping our reputation in the ass with a spiked metal rod VIII.
Coming to a theater near you.
Image

User avatar
Average Time to Take Breakfast in Equador
Posts: 640
Joined: 2008.09.27 (03:11)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/geti
MBTI Type: ENFJ
Contact:

Postby Geti » 2010.05.25 (21:23)

Midnight Meat Train would be up there for me..
No idea why it's 6/10 and has some 8/10 reviews. Me and a group of friends started treating it as a comedy after about half an hour when someone got their eye smashed out with a giant hammer.
spoiler

"I'd be happy for a lion if it hunted me down and ate me, but not so happy for it if it locked up me and my family, then forced us to breed so it may devour our offspring." - entwilight <3
How do you know that God didn't intend for humans to be the animals' caretakers? He might be appalled that He gave us these animals to use and we're fucking eating them. - Tsukatu
4th - DDA Speedrunning Contest.
One Hundred Percent Vegetarian

deviantArt Profile - 1BarDesign
God knows if i'm back.

User avatar
Remembering Hoxygen
Posts: 969
Joined: 2008.09.27 (21:40)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
MBTI Type: INFP
Location: SoCal
Contact:

Postby capt_weasle » 2010.06.05 (05:49)

While this is by far most certainly NOT the shittiest movie in the world, I must express my discontent with The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I was hanging out in Portland and stumbled across Powell's City of Books (<333333) so I decided to finally pick up a copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, because I would have otherwise lived a thoroughly depressing life without having read it. The day after I finished it (though I'm only halfway through the second book - I got an edition with all five novels) I watched the movie and, well, bleh. While I understand that the new additions to the story and the major changes in plot were a nod to how none of the previous books, TV series, and radio shows were consistent with each other, I didn't like how they treated several of the characters and the pacing of the story in general. I would think that anyone who had not read the book and watched this movie would be utterly lost, as many of the key moments and phrases that shone so brightly and fit so perfectly in the book were kind of crammed in random spots, which made them seem more of allusions to the book rather than punchlines that made sense given the context they were in during the movie. Sam Rockwell's portrayal of Zaphod was awful, and threw all of the subtle intellect and mischievousness of the character out the window and made him to be a complete idiot. While in the novels Zaphod is by no means the most coherent or educated guy around, there is a subtle, underlying notion that he knows what he's doing and his importance to the story; however, in the movie he's just stupid (also I didn't like how they dealt with his two heads, but that's just me). I must give praise to it, though, because Garth Jennings absolutely nailed Marvin, Arthur Dent, the Vogons in general, and the Heart of Gold's Improbability Drive (I loved the scene where they were all knitted toys). I also absolutely adored how the actual Guide itself was treated, with the animations in the book and the narration by Stephen Fry being quite excellent. Most of my other issues with the movie are just miffs about visuals, scene layouts, and pacing, because I'm a film major and I like things my way. I didn't like how the Heart of Gold actually looked (and I was at first uncomfortable with how they treated the sighing doors but I warmed up to it), how Deep Thought looked, and how they spent very little time on Magrathea (I desperately wanted to see the scene where they were looking through the planet catalog). Zooey Deschanel was also a strange choice for Trillian, and I'm not sure I liked her in the movie, and I'm still on the fence as to whether I liked Ford Prefect in the movie. On one hand, he got the awkwardness of the character very well, but he was just a little too bland for my tastes. The movie certainly had its moments, though, and the opening sequence was brilliant.
Image
"How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign'd" ~ Alexander Pope
"Boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars" ~ Hugh Laurie

User avatar
Ice Cold
Posts: 200
Joined: 2008.09.26 (05:18)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Twistkill
Location: Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canadia
Contact:

Postby Twistkill » 2010.06.27 (23:07)

I don't have a very broad scope of movies or directors and actors... I wish I did. Anyway, the point is that a bad movie I've seen recently besides Twilight is Max Payne. Now I love the video games, they have a really cool graphic novel art style with regards to the cutscenes, gritty environments, and are fun to play, but the movie was... just out there. It didn't follow the first game at all (Horne was supposed to be the final antagonist, Valkyr didn't cause demonic angel things to appear, etc.), - Ludacris as Jim Bravura? WTF? - and overall it felt... like a waste of potential. I don't think it's terrible it's just the worst I've seen in recent memory. I bet there's far worse. I've been watching crappy scenes from movies on Youtube and... wow. I was unaware that some movies could be so bad.
Image
"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult."
-Proverbs 12:16
Newfrag is my PSN name. Add me as a friend so we can play and chat, just make sure to tell me you're from these forums or else I'll think you're trying to molest me.

User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.06.27 (23:31)

Twistkill wrote:I don't have a very broad scope of movies or directors and actors... I wish I did. Anyway, the point is that a bad movie I've seen recently besides Twilight is Max Payne. Now I love the video games, they have a really cool graphic novel art style with regards to the cutscenes, gritty environments, and are fun to play, but the movie was... just out there. It didn't follow the first game at all (Horne was supposed to be the final antagonist, Valkyr didn't cause demonic angel things to appear, etc.), - Ludacris as Jim Bravura? WTF? - and overall it felt... like a waste of potential. I don't think it's terrible it's just the worst I've seen in recent memory. I bet there's far worse. I've been watching crappy scenes from movies on Youtube and... wow. I was unaware that some movies could be so bad.

I totally agree. Max Payne was downright disappointing. It brought back memories of Ultraviolet.

"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai




spoiler

Image



User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.06.28 (00:11)

Tsukatu wrote:
Twistkill wrote:I don't have a very broad scope of movies or directors and actors... I wish I did. Anyway, the point is that a bad movie I've seen recently besides Twilight is Max Payne. Now I love the video games, they have a really cool graphic novel art style with regards to the cutscenes, gritty environments, and are fun to play, but the movie was... just out there. It didn't follow the first game at all (Horne was supposed to be the final antagonist, Valkyr didn't cause demonic angel things to appear, etc.), - Ludacris as Jim Bravura? WTF? - and overall it felt... like a waste of potential. I don't think it's terrible it's just the worst I've seen in recent memory. I bet there's far worse. I've been watching crappy scenes from movies on Youtube and... wow. I was unaware that some movies could be so bad.

I totally agree. Max Payne was downright disappointing. It brought back memories of Ultraviolet.


Not nearly as disappointing as Hitman. Olyphant or no...
Loathes


Return to “Entertainment”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests