The shittest movies in the entire history of the world

Discuss entertainment media here, including TV, cinema, the Internet, books and literature, and other non-musical works or multimedia productions.
User avatar
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 1318
Joined: 2008.12.04 (01:16)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/maxson924
Location: Tampa
Contact:

Postby Rose » 2010.08.13 (00:16)

◟☃◞ wrote:the other guys was fucking awful. no one see it.


My mom and brother saw it and said it was good but not great. I was thinking maybe I'd go see it. After reading your comment, I will definitely go see it :3
Image

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2010.08.14 (03:08)

MAXXXON wrote:
◟☃◞ wrote:the other guys was fucking awful. no one see it.


My mom and brother saw it and said it was good but not great. I was thinking maybe I'd go see it. After reading your comment, I will definitely go see it :3

ahaha, your family thought it was good. so that's where you get it from.
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Jedi Pimp
Posts: 667
Joined: 2008.09.28 (02:54)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/bobaganuesh_2
Location: Manitoba, Canada

Postby bobaganuesh_2 » 2010.09.08 (05:10)

oh my GAD Battle Royale II is horrible. The cinematics and suspension of the first was totally sapped out, and any emotional responses to characters reacting to their peers' deaths was just replaced with "NOOOOOO!! I WILL RUN OVER TO YOU AND RISK GETTING SHOT AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE WILL REPEAT WHAT I JUST DID". Themes're alright though.

Beyond a Perfect Math Score
Posts: 829
Joined: 2008.09.25 (21:35)
Location: England
Contact:

Postby Luminaflare » 2010.09.08 (06:32)

bobaga_fett wrote:oh my GAD Battle Royale II is horrible. The cinematics and suspension of the first was totally sapped out, and any emotional responses to characters reacting to their peers' deaths was just replaced with "NOOOOOO!! I WILL RUN OVER TO YOU AND RISK GETTING SHOT AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE WILL REPEAT WHAT I JUST DID". Themes're alright though.


Compare Dragonball (Z) (Manga) to Dragonball GT (No source material, written by what I assume to be the animating staff) or the movies Transformers (writing staff) to Transformers 2 (Michael Bay wrote it), Battle Royale was based on a book, the 2nd was just made up.

User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.09.08 (13:15)

Luminaflare wrote:
bobaga_fett wrote:oh my GAD Battle Royale II is horrible. The cinematics and suspension of the first was totally sapped out, and any emotional responses to characters reacting to their peers' deaths was just replaced with "NOOOOOO!! I WILL RUN OVER TO YOU AND RISK GETTING SHOT AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE WILL REPEAT WHAT I JUST DID". Themes're alright though.


Compare Dragonball (Z) (Manga) to Dragonball GT (No source material, written by what I assume to be the animating staff) or the movies Transformers (writing staff) to Transformers 2 (Michael Bay wrote it), Battle Royale was based on a book, the 2nd was just made up.


Dude, go back and watch Dragon Ball Z. It's fucking terrible. GT is just equivalently terrible but it's more recent so you're older and forget how fucking terrible Z is.
Loathes

Beyond a Perfect Math Score
Posts: 829
Joined: 2008.09.25 (21:35)
Location: England
Contact:

Postby Luminaflare » 2010.09.08 (20:25)

I watched Z and GT back to back? GT is just a piece of shit but Z is hilarious (Plot and characterisation is terrible but eh it's hilariously over the top).

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2010.09.08 (21:54)

SłappyMcGee wrote:
Luminaflare wrote:
bobaga_fett wrote:oh my GAD Battle Royale II is horrible. The cinematics and suspension of the first was totally sapped out, and any emotional responses to characters reacting to their peers' deaths was just replaced with "NOOOOOO!! I WILL RUN OVER TO YOU AND RISK GETTING SHOT AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE WILL REPEAT WHAT I JUST DID". Themes're alright though.


Compare Dragonball (Z) (Manga) to Dragonball GT (No source material, written by what I assume to be the animating staff) or the movies Transformers (writing staff) to Transformers 2 (Michael Bay wrote it), Battle Royale was based on a book, the 2nd was just made up.


Dude, go back and watch Dragon Ball Z. It's fucking terrible. GT is just equivalently terrible but it's more recent so you're older and forget how fucking terrible Z is.

But see, this applies to the Transformers/2 thing as well -- both of them sucked but one was a lot worse. LF was spot on by accident.
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.09.09 (00:51)

But Battle Royale was tits.
Loathes

User avatar
Admin
Admin
Posts: 2329
Joined: 2008.09.27 (16:53)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Aidiera :3
MBTI Type: INTJ
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Contact:

Postby aids » 2010.09.09 (05:13)

Might as well throw MacGruber out there.
Image

//--^.^--\\
\\.:.^.:.//

User avatar
Global Mod
Global Mod
Posts: 1416
Joined: 2008.09.26 (05:35)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/scythe33
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Postby scythe » 2010.09.09 (05:20)

a happy song wrote:
Tsukatu wrote:atob,

Have you read my rant on Fringe?


Well, I skimmed it. Not because I wasn't interested in what you had to say, but more that I knew I'd end up giving myself an dodgy stomach with the strain of trying to understand what the fuck it is these people are trying to achieve.

Tsukatu wrote:I think it comes down to this (quoted from the article you linked to):
I understand that no one in Hollywood hires technology consultants anymore – and if they do, they probably fired them on the first day when they start crossing out all the awesome hacker stuff from the script and replace it with boring stuff. I get it. I am not their target audience and I guess someone with less technical knowledge than me could overlook all the flaws I listed above.


Still, I don't see why one of the producers can't ask his pimply faced nephew if this ridiculous superhacker action makes a lick of sense. I really wish more franchises would completely bomb after "I'll make a GUI in Visual Basic to track the IP," but I've learned not to bank on the general populace breaking out of their crippling ignorance and incompetence.


Right!

I'm trying to recall a film that does this well, the computer hacker thing. And by well I mean bridges the gap between accessible screen hints and believable interactions/interfaces.

I mean, I can handle the occasional "Virus has been uploaded" or "I /just/ need to hack in to their systems" (guy taps away at keyboard), I'd just rather see a little more intelligence behind the creativity.

Can you give me any examples of it done right? I'm sure I'm overlooking the obvious.

The Matrix comes the closest. The original, not the craptastic sequels.
As soon as we wish to be happier, we are no longer happy.

User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.09.09 (13:46)

scythe wrote:The Matrix comes the closest. The original, not the craptastic sequels.

I thought it was the second in the trilogy in which Trinity uses nmap and sshnuke.
"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai


spoiler

Image


User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.09.09 (15:38)

T̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư wrote:
scythe wrote:The Matrix comes the closest. The original, not the craptastic sequels.

I thought it was the second in the trilogy in which Trinity uses nmap and sshnuke.



I'mma be straight wit you, scythe; THE MATRIX IS DEFINITELY NOT THE ONE THAT COMES THE CLOSEST.

GLITCHES IN THE EARTH PROGRAM CAUSED DEJA VU
Loathes

User avatar
Lords a-Leaping
Posts: 10
Joined: 2010.06.15 (21:36)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Theodore_owens_%5Ebloodu
MBTI Type: ISTJ

Postby Theodore_owens_^ » 2010.09.28 (03:37)

Crash and that remake of The Stepford Wives, they are both horrible.

User avatar
Mr. Glass
Posts: 2018
Joined: 2008.09.27 (20:22)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/astheoceansblue
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: up down left right start A start

Postby a happy song » 2010.09.28 (12:06)

Theodore_owens_^ wrote:Crash and that remake of The Stepford Wives, they are both horrible.


If by crash you mean the horrid one about people fucking each other in wounds, then yeh, that's nasty.

The David Cronenberg one was fine, though.
click sig :::
spoiler


n
::: astheoceansblue
::: My eight episode map pack: SUNSHINEscience
::: Map Theory: The Importance of Function & Form

-
M U S I C
::: The forest and the fire: myspace
::: EP available for FREE download, here.

-
A R T
::: Sig & Avatar Artwork by me - see here!

-
G A M I N G
::: Steam ID: 0:1:20950734
::: Steam Username: brighter


Global Mod
Global Mod
Posts: 1596
Joined: 2008.09.26 (13:10)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/gloomp
MBTI Type: INTP
Location: Troy, New York
Contact:

Postby unoriginal name » 2010.09.29 (14:41)

a happy song wrote:
Theodore_owens_^ wrote:Crash and that remake of The Stepford Wives, they are both horrible.


If by crash you mean the horrid one about people fucking each other in wounds, then yeh, that's nasty.

The David Cronenberg one was fine, though.

<3
spoiler

[url]slappy-mcgee-blowjob-sandwich[/url]


The maximum possible score in one turn at darts.
Posts: 197
Joined: 2008.09.26 (16:57)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/beginner2
MBTI Type: ISTP

Postby mediate » 2010.11.01 (23:22)

T̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư wrote:
SeventhSpirit wrote:every Pixar Movie.

You must be retarded or something.

I think I agree with you.

Adding in Biodome and Shrek 4. Biodome is just ... holy f**king hell it's bad. I don't think even plan 9 is as bad as that. Shrek 4 is also pretty damn bad.

User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.11.01 (23:45)

mediate wrote:
T̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư wrote:
SeventhSpirit wrote:every Pixar Movie.

You must be retarded or something.

I think I agree with you.

Adding in Biodome and Shrek 4. Biodome is just ... holy f**king hell it's bad. I don't think even plan 9 is as bad as that. Shrek 4 is also pretty damn bad.


I liked Shrek 4 much more than the second or third ones.
Loathes

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2010.11.02 (03:13)

=w= wrote:I liked Shrek 4 much more than the second or third ones.

Surely I'm not the /only one/ who gave up on Shrek completely after #2?
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.11.02 (03:33)

mediate wrote:
T̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư wrote:
SeventhSpirit wrote:every Pixar Movie.

You must be retarded or something.

I think I agree with you.

Adding in Biodome and Shrek 4. Biodome is just ... holy f**king hell it's bad. I don't think even plan 9 is as bad as that. Shrek 4 is also pretty damn bad.

I'm willing to grant that there are some exceptions as franchises which refuse to die, but it's ridiculous to say that every Pixar movie is horrible, much less most, or even many.

"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai




spoiler

Image



User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.11.02 (13:06)

This might be worth a double-post.

*ahem*

Oldboy

I've heard it was amazing, so I finally got around to watching it... and I am severely underwhelmed.
I can forgive general insensibility in movies when it's necessary for some meaning to carry through, but Oldboy has no interesting message to begin with. The plot is drippy emo shit that no one with an emotional maturity above a high schooler's could find interesting, the resolution is thoroughly disappointing, and the characters are all criminally stupid.
I couldn't empathize with any of the characters, nor could I respect any of their motivations. The story has no contact with any common aspect of human experience and therefore couldn't have meant very much to any particular audience member. This is a quality that many movies get away with if they have instead some kind of overall message, but as I've said, Oldboy does not. It ends up being a story of the struggle between paranoid schizophrenics with no appreciable resolution or significance.
I guess that hallway fight scene was kinda cool, though. But that's pretty much all this movie had going for it.

I watched Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance before this, and that was pretty good, so I was expecting better things from Oldboy. Now I'm apprehensive about watching the final movie in the Vengeance trilogy, Lady Vengeance.

Can of worms, activate!

"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai




spoiler

Image



User avatar
Damn You're Fine
Posts: 385
Joined: 2008.10.01 (15:36)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/heartattack

Postby Heartattack » 2010.11.02 (13:43)

I can't say that I agree with you, but I'll let my intellectual superiors argue my point, as they'll do a better job than I ever could. On an unrelated note, I watched The Last Airbender the other day, and that is the /worst/ /movie/ /ever/ /made/. In fact, I'm positive it's already been mentioned in this thread, but it needs to be said again. It was truly terrible in every way.
Last edited by Heartattack on 2010.11.02 (16:50), edited 1 time in total.
spoiler

All sigs thanks to my secret lovers.


I won a contest once.
Tsukatu wrote:ass assass

User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.11.02 (16:47)

T̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư wrote:This might be worth a double-post.

*ahem*

Oldboy

I've heard it was amazing, so I finally got around to watching it... and I am severely underwhelmed.
I can forgive general insensibility in movies when it's necessary for some meaning to carry through, but Oldboy has no interesting message to begin with. The plot is drippy emo shit that no one with an emotional maturity above a high schooler's could find interesting, the resolution is thoroughly disappointing, and the characters are all criminally stupid.
I couldn't empathize with any of the characters, nor could I respect any of their motivations. The story has no contact with any common aspect of human experience and therefore couldn't have meant very much to any particular audience member. This is a quality that many movies get away with if they have instead some kind of overall message, but as I've said, Oldboy does not. It ends up being a story of the struggle between paranoid schizophrenics with no appreciable resolution or significance.
I guess that hallway fight scene was kinda cool, though. But that's pretty much all this movie had going for it.

I watched Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance before this, and that was pretty good, so I was expecting better things from Oldboy. Now I'm apprehensive about watching the final movie in the Vengeance trilogy, Lady Vengeance.

Can of worms, activate!


Well, you're wrong, is all.
Loathes

User avatar
Retrofuturist
Posts: 3131
Joined: 2008.09.19 (06:55)
MBTI Type: ENTP
Location: California, USA
Contact:

Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2010.11.02 (17:04)

'kay, just finished watching Lady Vengeance.
If you've ever wondered what it'd be like if an emo kid with zero social graces tried to make an amateur, fan-made tribute to cheesy Spanish soap operas, Lady Vengeance will give you a pretty damned good idea of the end product. It's a trainwreck, through and through. The whole movie should have been... I want to say the third and fourth fifths of what it was made into.

Of the Vengeance trilogy, only Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance is really worth anyone's time, although I can also imagine myself recommending the first half of Oldboy (and nothing more, as anything beyond that point will ruin the enjoyment of the first half).

"you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai

"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai




spoiler

Image



User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.11.02 (17:46)

T̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư wrote:'kay, just finished watching Lady Vengeance.
If you've ever wondered what it'd be like if an emo kid with zero social graces tried to make an amateur, fan-made tribute to cheesy Spanish soap operas, Lady Vengeance will give you a pretty damned good idea of the end product. It's a trainwreck, through and through. The whole movie should have been... I want to say the third and fourth fifths of what it was made into.

Of the Vengeance trilogy, only Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance is really worth anyone's time, although I can also imagine myself recommending the first half of Oldboy (and nothing more, as anything beyond that point will ruin the enjoyment of the first half).


Watch some of this shit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I'm_a_Cybo ... _That's_OK
Loathes

The maximum possible score in one turn at darts.
Posts: 197
Joined: 2008.09.26 (16:57)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/beginner2
MBTI Type: ISTP

Postby mediate » 2010.11.04 (17:28)

Molar-fucking thorax wrote:Surely I'm not the /only one/ who gave up on Shrek completely after #2?


They failed after the first one. There was no way that they could match the first one, IMO.

T̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư wrote:I'm willing to grant that there are some exceptions as franchises which refuse to die, but it's ridiculous to say that every Pixar movie is horrible, much less most, or even many.
I was agreeing with you, not against you ...


Return to “Entertainment”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests