The shittest movies in the entire history of the world

Discuss entertainment media here, including TV, cinema, the Internet, books and literature, and other non-musical works or multimedia productions.
User avatar
Member
Posts: 25
Joined: 2010.10.14 (11:23)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Tacit
Location: Russia

Postby Serg » 2011.02.16 (09:26)

The Green Hornet.
I don't say, what it's worthless movie of the world, but I expected from this film much more.
It's just rubbish! This stupid plot was used over and over again and I has tired from this shit.
Stop this!

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2011.02.19 (23:42)

Serg wrote:The Green Hornet.
I don't say, what it's worthless movie of the world, but I expected from this film much more.
It's just rubbish! This stupid plot was used over and over again and I has tired from this shit.
Stop this!

Would like everyone to know that I met the slick car from Green Hornet at the Kansas City Convention Center.
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Boeing Boeing Bone!
Posts: 762
Joined: 2009.02.20 (12:23)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Seneschal
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: London, UK

Postby Seneschal » 2011.05.30 (17:46)

I just watched Battle Royale and find myself baffled at how anyone could think this was a good movie.

The premise is absolutely ludicrous, but even ignoring its inherent ridiculousness (which I don't see why we should, anyway: the government decides that the best way to discipline unruly children is to force them to take part in a sadistic game on a remote island, where in all probability the one who is the most violent will survive and return to society. If this was a system designed to create psychopaths then I'd buy it, but otherwise it's just nonsensical. I mean, what the fuck? Anyway, long brackets), the film is so full of plot-holes, unsympathetic characters and purposeless violence, whilst simultaneously lacking any sort of moral or rational justification for the whole scenario, that I found it difficult to think of the movie with anything other than disgust. People killing each other for the sake of killing each other isn't entertainment, it's sick, and this movie is rotten to the core.

User avatar
Depressing
Posts: 1977
Joined: 2008.09.26 (06:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/rennaT
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Trenton, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Postby Tanner » 2011.05.30 (18:38)

Seneschal wrote:I just watched Battle Royale and find myself baffled at how anyone could think this was a good movie.

The premise is absolutely ludicrous, but even ignoring its inherent ridiculousness (which I don't see why we should, anyway: the government decides that the best way to discipline unruly children is to force them to take part in a sadistic game on a remote island, where in all probability the one who is the most violent will survive and return to society. If this was a system designed to create psychopaths then I'd buy it, but otherwise it's just nonsensical. I mean, what the fuck? Anyway, long brackets), the film is so full of plot-holes, unsympathetic characters and purposeless violence, whilst simultaneously lacking any sort of moral or rational justification for the whole scenario, that I found it difficult to think of the movie with anything other than disgust. People killing each other for the sake of killing each other isn't entertainment, it's sick, and this movie is rotten to the core.

Yeah, if you have a problem with violence in film, this probably wasn't the best pick for you. If you'd like, I can recommend some really nice romantic comedies with Zooey Deschanel in them. Those'd probably be more up your ally.
Image
'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2011.05.31 (00:17)

Duchess of Awesome wrote:
Seneschal wrote:I just watched Battle Royale and find myself baffled at how anyone could think this was a good movie.

The premise is absolutely ludicrous, but even ignoring its inherent ridiculousness (which I don't see why we should, anyway: the government decides that the best way to discipline unruly children is to force them to take part in a sadistic game on a remote island, where in all probability the one who is the most violent will survive and return to society. If this was a system designed to create psychopaths then I'd buy it, but otherwise it's just nonsensical. I mean, what the fuck? Anyway, long brackets), the film is so full of plot-holes, unsympathetic characters and purposeless violence, whilst simultaneously lacking any sort of moral or rational justification for the whole scenario, that I found it difficult to think of the movie with anything other than disgust. People killing each other for the sake of killing each other isn't entertainment, it's sick, and this movie is rotten to the core.

Yeah, if you have a problem with violence in film, this probably wasn't the best pick for you. If you'd like, I can recommend some really nice romantic comedies with Zooey Deschanel in them. Those'd probably be more up your ally.

Good oversimplification of his post.

Never seen the movie, never will. Didn't like the book much.
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Doublemember
Posts: 76
Joined: 2011.02.08 (03:43)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Tommy_Wiseau

Postby TommyWiseau24 » 2011.05.31 (01:17)

Pay it Forward. Sappy, overdramatic shitty shit. God, even 21 didn't make me hate Kevin Spacey as much as this did, and I love the guy.

Might I also say, best ending ever? Really, it made me happy when that kid died. It was horribly done though, as it came out of nowhere. Not to mention it was shot like a bad action movie. Shitty shit.

Seneschal wrote:I just watched Battle Royale and find myself baffled at how anyone could think this was a good movie.

The premise is absolutely ludicrous, but even ignoring its inherent ridiculousness (which I don't see why we should, anyway: the government decides that the best way to discipline unruly children is to force them to take part in a sadistic game on a remote island, where in all probability the one who is the most violent will survive and return to society. If this was a system designed to create psychopaths then I'd buy it, but otherwise it's just nonsensical. I mean, what the fuck? Anyway, long brackets), the film is so full of plot-holes, unsympathetic characters and purposeless violence, whilst simultaneously lacking any sort of moral or rational justification for the whole scenario, that I found it difficult to think of the movie with anything other than disgust. People killing each other for the sake of killing each other isn't entertainment, it's sick, and this movie is rotten to the core.


You are mostly right. But if you aren't expecting senseless, sick violence, why did you watch it? It's clearly meant for people who love decapitations and the like, and it's a classic in that category of film. Really, there are about a billion movies that would fit your complaints which are much worse than Battle Royale.


And I noticed Turkish Star Wars being mentioned earlier. That movie is awesome. The training montage especially. Only a man trains by punching rocks and... jumping.
Image

User avatar
Depressing
Posts: 1977
Joined: 2008.09.26 (06:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/rennaT
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Trenton, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Postby Tanner » 2011.05.31 (03:03)

Nostromo wrote:Good oversimplification of his post.

It's an annoying post. It sounds like he watched it to hate it.
Image
'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak

User avatar
Boeing Boeing Bone!
Posts: 762
Joined: 2009.02.20 (12:23)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Seneschal
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: London, UK

Postby Seneschal » 2011.05.31 (14:29)

Duchess of Awesome wrote:
Nostromo wrote:Good oversimplification of his post.

It's an annoying post. It sounds like he watched it to hate it.

I didn't and never would watch any film simply to hate it because that defeats the purpose of watching films in the first place, i.e. to enjoy oneself in one form or another, but if I am confronted with a piece of shit movie that offers lots of blood and very little sense, I am going to call it a piece of shit movie with lots of blood and very little sense. I didn't watch it to hate it; I watched it and hated it.

I admit that I got a bit melodramatic/hyperbolic towards the end of my post so maybe I didn't clearly convey my main problems with the film. I don't hate it because it's too violent, because I really didn't have a problem with the violence. Yes it was pretty violent, but I've seen more violent/intense movies than this and have enjoyed them nonetheless. I hate it because it's a badly plotted, muddled, purposeless mess of a film, and because it doesn't satisfactorily justify any of its inane violence. The motives of the government for sending teenagers to the island are never explained beyond the sentence "The adults lost confidence and, fearing the youth, eventually passed the Millennium Educational Reform Act, AKA the BR Act..." from the opening lines, which still doesn't explain why the government would impose such a bizarre method of execution. I mean, at least in Saw there's a villain who's clearly a nutcase who kills for his perverted pleasure. Even if it is silly, he still possesses a comprehensible and logical motive for his acts. Here there isn't even that, since the programme clearly isn't designed for anyone's amusement (apart from Kitano's, perhaps, but why have a complicated system designed to mildly satisfy one person?), and is too wildly inefficient to be an effective way of enforcing discipline or punishment (ever heard of prisons? Internment camps? Or just simple executions? And then there's my aforementioned point of them releasing one person, who would quite possibly be the most violent of the lot, and almost certainly pschologically disturbed at the very least, back into society.).

The characters are either flimsy clichés or completely undeveloped, and the whole scenario is ludicrous and badly thought out from start to finish. We're meant to take for granted that a teenager would be able to hack into the island's computer systems with a computer that just happens to be lying around for reasons which are never established; Independence Day eat your heart out. This same teenager and his friends are also able to build a fucking bomb out of materials like kerosene which they manage to find without any visible difficulty despite the fact that they've never even set foot on this island before and are being monitored through their collars, and one of them says he even managed to steal a fucking van. I could go on listing idiotic plot points (another one: the main characters disable their collars at the very end; no explanation is given as to why they didn't do this before the last possible moment or even how they managed to do this), but I really don't have the time or the inclination. I'm all for suspending my disbelief, something necessary for viewing any film, but the writers on this film don't even bother to work within the rules they've established, and therefore I find myself treating them with the same contempt that they obviously hold for their audience.

TommyWiseau24 wrote:You are mostly right. But if you aren't expecting senseless, sick violence, why did you watch it? It's clearly meant for people who love decapitations and the like, and it's a classic in that category of film. Really, there are about a billion movies that would fit your complaints which are much worse than Battle Royale.

Again, you missed the point of what I was saying. I was expecting something along the lines of a more violent 'Lord of the Flies' or 'And Then There Were None', something that had some sort of point to its violence. I was expecting it to be violent. I just wasn't expecting it to be idiotic to the point of tedium, something that aped those works without retaining their intelligence or their logic. I don't tend to care what genre a film falls under as long there's a possibility that it will be a rewarding experience in one form or another. And I'm sure there are a billion films that would better fit my complaints of being terribly written, but the vast majority of them are acknowledged as being so. This film was highly recommended to me, which is what I find so baffling.

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2011.05.31 (19:08)

Seneschal wrote:are also able to build a fucking bomb out of materials like kerosene which they manage to find without any visible difficulty

Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Depressing
Posts: 1977
Joined: 2008.09.26 (06:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/rennaT
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Trenton, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Postby Tanner » 2011.05.31 (21:32)

I really strongly disagree with your claim that it is a poorly written film. I think, instead, that it stresses aspects of storytelling that are not normally focused on in traditionally lauded filmography. It's a synthesis of a single idea which lets all the extra stuff fall to the wayside. This isn't a failing, it's a concious decision. This movie is more akin to grindhouse epics than the thriller you mentioned (Saw).
Image
'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak

Global Mod
Global Mod
Posts: 1596
Joined: 2008.09.26 (13:10)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/gloomp
MBTI Type: INTP
Location: Troy, New York
Contact:

Postby unoriginal name » 2011.06.20 (19:01)

I dunno, not liking Battle Royale just seems weird to me. You're weird, Seneschal.
spoiler

[url]slappy-mcgee-blowjob-sandwich[/url]


User avatar
Queen of All Spiders
Posts: 4263
Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Quebec, Canada!
Contact:

Postby SlappyMcGee » 2011.07.06 (21:48)

Saw owes a lot to Grindhouse style pictures.


But I don't care what you think about Battle Royale. If everybody is hating on your post and being a dick, drop it. When you post that a popular movie was the shittiest movie in the entire history of the world, especially one that is popular in these forums, you're going to here some dissident opinions. And everybody on the internet thinks they are witty as hell. Tanner thinks that he is well loved for being a bitch. Which is mostly true. gloomp thinks he is well loved because Tanner likes him.



BUT WE DON'T NEED TWO YAHOOZYS
Loathes

Global Mod
Global Mod
Posts: 1596
Joined: 2008.09.26 (13:10)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/gloomp
MBTI Type: INTP
Location: Troy, New York
Contact:

Postby unoriginal name » 2011.07.09 (19:04)

SlappyMcGee wrote:BUT WE DON'T NEED TWO YAHOOZYS

Ouch.

spoiler

[url]slappy-mcgee-blowjob-sandwich[/url]



User avatar
Odd
Posts: 1374
Joined: 2008.09.27 (14:03)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/pni
MBTI Type: ENFP
Location: Ottawa
Contact:

Postby Pixon » 2011.11.25 (18:10)

Does the Star Wars Holiday Special count as a movie? Because if it does, I want to nominate it.
spoiler

Signatures supplied by the following: NicNac14, Tsukatu, aphex_n, Nphasis, pinkymyno1, UniverseZero, gloomp, sidke, 29403, AMomentLikeThis, Chase, Red Reamer, Izzy, MyCheezKilledYours, Techno, Donfuy juice, southpaw, IAMAMAZING, SkyRay, Skyline, Why_Me, jackass, Leaff, esay, Daikenkai, Kablamo_Boom, wumbla, Izzy, toasters, Octopod Squad, behappyy, notsteve, Shadowraith, GTM, Animator, kkstrong, TearsOfTheSaints, Spawn of Yanni, nnn, Furry Ant, ampburner, fawk. Thanks.
I have 72 signatures.


I accept signature donations.

User avatar
Admin
Admin
Posts: 2329
Joined: 2008.09.27 (16:53)
NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Aidiera :3
MBTI Type: INTJ
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Contact:

Postby aids » 2011.11.25 (18:13)

The new Karold and Kumar movie was absolute shit. (I'm not talking about the first two, just the third one.)
Image

//--^.^--\\
\\.:.^.:.//

User avatar
Richard Richards
Posts: 183
Joined: 2010.10.10 (18:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/epic4ever
Steam: www.steamcommunity.com/id/
Location: Helsinki. Finland. Europe. Earth. Milkyway

Postby Equilibrium » 2012.01.21 (20:53)

I don´t know about you guys but Starship Troopers 3 was pretty shit(Not 1 and 2 though), Death Race 2 and The Scorpion King 2 just my opinion..
Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.

User avatar
Depressing
Posts: 1977
Joined: 2008.09.26 (06:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/rennaT
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Trenton, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Postby Tanner » 2012.01.21 (23:19)

Death Race 2 was pretty bad, yes, but it was also hilarious homoerotic which I found entertaining.
Image
'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak

User avatar
Richard Richards
Posts: 183
Joined: 2010.10.10 (18:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/epic4ever
Steam: www.steamcommunity.com/id/
Location: Helsinki. Finland. Europe. Earth. Milkyway

Postby Equilibrium » 2012.01.21 (23:27)

Duchess of Awesome wrote:Death Race 2 was pretty bad, yes, but it was also hilarious homoerotic which I found entertaining.


Wait what?
Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.

User avatar
Remembering Hoxygen
Posts: 969
Joined: 2008.09.27 (21:40)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
MBTI Type: INFP
Location: SoCal
Contact:

Postby capt_weasle » 2012.01.22 (04:17)

If you ever wanted to watch "Stalling: The Movie," then give Trespass a watch.
Image
"How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign'd" ~ Alexander Pope
"Boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars" ~ Hugh Laurie

User avatar
Depressing
Posts: 1977
Joined: 2008.09.26 (06:46)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/rennaT
MBTI Type: ISTJ
Location: Trenton, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Postby Tanner » 2012.01.22 (12:59)

Epic4ever wrote:
Duchess of Awesome wrote:Death Race 2 was pretty bad, yes, but it was also hilarious homoerotic which I found entertaining.


Wait what?

It's been 2 years since I saw it and it didn't really leave much of an impression (on account of it wasn't very good) but I remember this distinctly and I remember talking about it with people afterwards who agreed so, yeah, probably unnecessary shirtless dudes and too much wrestling and smack talking and then emotional bonds between guys that are too intense for the plot to account for.
Image
'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak

Global Mod
Global Mod
Posts: 714
Joined: 2009.11.07 (19:20)
NUMA Profile: www.nmaps.net/user/Sunset
Steam: www.steamcommunity.com/id/
MBTI Type: INTP
Location: Iowa City, IA

Postby Sunset » 2012.03.06 (21:39)

The Room is pretty terrible.

User avatar
Doublemember
Posts: 76
Joined: 2011.02.08 (03:43)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Tommy_Wiseau

Postby TommyWiseau24 » 2012.10.28 (06:26)

Sunset wrote:The Room is pretty terrible.


I know you hate me Sunset, you just don't have to be so harsh about it. Not cool man! *cries*
Last edited by TommyWiseau24 on 2012.10.29 (17:53), edited 1 time in total.
Image

"Asked ortsz for a name change"
Posts: 3380
Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)

Postby otters~1 » 2012.10.28 (08:04)

the movie from the borat guy was godawful
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

User avatar
Doublemember
Posts: 76
Joined: 2011.02.08 (03:43)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Tommy_Wiseau

Postby TommyWiseau24 » 2012.10.30 (00:47)

centerƒire wrote:the movie from the borat guy was godawful


As in, Borat?
Image

Semimember
Posts: 23
Joined: 2012.04.14 (01:43)
NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Harveyy
Location: Scotland

Postby Harveyy » 2012.10.30 (01:19)

The dictator i think he means. And yes it was bad.
Found N March 2012.


Return to “Entertainment”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests