Unorthodox Proverbs

Play messageboard games, do silly question-and-answer things, and just waste some time with your fellow forum-goers. Post count does not accumulate. No pie allowed.
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Postby MattKestrel » 2009.01.26 (19:17)

I start a well-known proverb, you end it in the funniest way possible. Rinse and repeat. Simple.

Where there's smoke, there's...
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Postby MattKestrel » 2009.01.26 (19:39)

Kills the worms inside.

When you lie down with dogs...
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Postby Rose » 2009.01.26 (19:44)

they have to be female.

Treat others...
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Postby MattKestrel » 2009.01.26 (19:50)

As you would treat rabies.

Don't count your chickens...
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Postby Rose » 2009.01.26 (21:28)

means that it was broken.

Early to bed and early to rise...
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Postby MattKestrel » 2009.01.26 (21:38)

Makes you a mailman.

Better to be safe...
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Postby Rose » 2009.01.26 (21:41)

than a celebrity.

An eye for an eye...
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Postby Sithmaster » 2009.01.27 (00:04)

...thinks the customer is always wrong


When in Rome...
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

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Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!

Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby BNW » 2009.01.27 (04:51)

...start using human.

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toasters | RedSham's! | Jackass's | Why Me's | Gloomp's!

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Postby aids » 2009.01.27 (05:06)

and up to the stars.

best thread ever!!



Revenge is a dish...
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Postby Kablamo » 2009.01.27 (05:18)

... best served with chups, bro


if all else fails...
spoiler

Hi Everybody!


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Postby aids » 2009.01.27 (05:25)

don't cheat off of them.

All fair in...
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Postby Kablamo » 2009.01.27 (05:29)

... and out

Curiosity killed...

spoiler

Hi Everybody!



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Postby aids » 2009.01.27 (05:42)

itself because it was suicidal.

Every dog has...
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Postby Rose » 2009.01.27 (12:44)

isn't sick.

Slow and steady...
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Postby Pixon » 2009.01.27 (13:53)

Makes you fat.

Sticks and stones will break my bones...
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Signatures supplied by the following: NicNac14, Tsukatu, aphex_n, Nphasis, pinkymyno1, UniverseZero, gloomp, sidke, 29403, AMomentLikeThis, Chase, Red Reamer, Izzy, MyCheezKilledYours, Techno, Donfuy juice, southpaw, IAMAMAZING, SkyRay, Skyline, Why_Me, jackass, Leaff, esay, Daikenkai, Kablamo_Boom, wumbla, Izzy, toasters, Octopod Squad, behappyy, notsteve, Shadowraith, GTM, Animator, kkstrong, TearsOfTheSaints, Spawn of Yanni, nnn, Furry Ant, ampburner, fawk. Thanks.
I have 72 signatures.


I accept signature donations.

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Postby Spawn of Yanni » 2009.01.27 (13:58)

... :(

Many hands make...
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feline disrespect from behind

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Postby Tanner » 2009.01.27 (14:21)

... much shirk.

A rolling stone...
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Postby Rose » 2009.01.27 (15:05)

is better than a kidney stone.

Where there's a will...
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Postby MattKestrel » 2009.01.27 (16:27)

...there's a funeral.

A bird in the hand is worth...
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Postby 29403 » 2009.01.27 (16:29)

1p.

The early bird...
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sig by donfuy.

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Postby otters~1 » 2009.01.27 (17:57)

...is really, really hungover.


All's well that....
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea

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Postby MattKestrel » 2009.01.27 (21:12)

Spoils the broth. *think about it ;)*

No man is a...
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Postby Rose » 2009.01.27 (21:33)

woman.

Don't throw out the baby...
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Postby Kablamo » 2009.01.27 (22:04)

... Broken condom

dont count your chickens...

spoiler

Hi Everybody!




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