Metanet Forums

Well, that's my interpretation of this story. I'm sorry but this is just shallow. Wanting to find love and all is great, but the guy's sense of having a girlfriend is completely twisted. He just wants sex, and even though his mother is going to every length to make him seem "normal," she stated that she would prefer it if he were with someone without Downs. That just seems stupid, because why should she care if people with Downs are "just like everyone else"? This is ridiculous.

EDIT: Just in case you get confused because you don't like to follow links: Mother is trying to get her 21 year-old son with Downs laid.

It really is ridiculous, although understandable.

What do moms want? Make their child happy. Make their child feel secure, special and at the same time normal persons.

But she's only showing others that she is a fucking jerk.

Sex is an integral part of life. Not only do our bodies yearn for it, but having sex helps build all types of confidence. I see nothing wrong with wanting to provide the experience for people who will have a very difficult time finding it for themselves.

atob wrote:Sex is an integral part of life. Not only do our bodies yearn for it, but having sex helps build all types of confidence. I see nothing wrong with wanting to provide the experience for people who will have a very difficult time finding it for themselves.

I don't care that he wants sex, but that's all he wants. He said: 'I'm on a mission to find a girlfriend. My reason is I want to have sex. I'm looking for girlfriends everywhere.' That's dumb. He doesn't seem to comprehend there is more to a relationship than sex, which is what his mother is forcing down his throat. Also the mother is being hypocritical in how she wants only the most normal aspects of life for her son despite not wanting him to have a girlfriend with Downs.

capt_weasle wrote: It isn't that he wants sex, but that's all he wants. He said: 'I'm on a mission to find a girlfriend. My reason is I want to have sex. I'm looking for girlfriends everywhere.' That's dumb. He doesn't seem to comprehend there is more to a relationship than sex, which is what his mother is forcing down his throat. Also the mother is being hypocritical in how she wants only the most normal aspects of life for her son despite not wanting him to have a girlfriend with Downs.

Plenty of people don't want meaningful relationships,and there are enough of them out there for it not to be a problem. That is, unless you have some kind of physical deformity or illness that hinders these types of social interactions.

So what if he just wants to have sex, he's a young guy. There's plenty of time to settle and find a loving relationship later.

Sex is much better when you're young, too. Less strings = more flings.

I suppose we just differ in the fact that I don't think it's a great idea to just go sleep with everyone you possibly can before you "settle down." Habits become hard to break.

capt_weasle wrote:I suppose we just differ in the fact that I don't think it's a great idea to just go sleep with everyone you possibly can before you "settle down." Habits become hard to break.

Wanting to experience some harmless playful sex while you're young doesn't inherently run the risk of falling into habit, good or bad. And Who said sleep with 'everyone you possibly can'? Dude just wants to get laid!

atob wrote:Dude just wants to get laid!

This is the truest statement so far.

atob wrote:

capt_weasle wrote:I suppose we just differ in the fact that I don't think it's a great idea to just go sleep with everyone you possibly can before you "settle down." Habits become hard to break.

Wanting to experience some harmless playful sex while you're young doesn't inherently run the risk of falling into habit, good or bad. And Who said sleep with 'everyone you possibly can'? Dude just wants to get laid!

I think casual sex can lead to bad habits, not necessarily bad in terms of being single, but in terms of trying to getting over the fact you can't just pick up a girl if you want to when you start to be in a committed relationship. Where you would usually be able to walk into a bar and casually flirt and whatnot, when you're married or just seriously dating you can't do that unless you want trouble with your significant other. Chances are tuning down the casual sex when your single will help you stay out of trouble when you want to commit. Not to mention "just wanting to get laid" is pretty selfish, to me at least.

capt_weasle wrote:

atob wrote:Not to mention "just wanting to get laid" is pretty selfish, to me at least.

As already mentioned, there are enough people of opposing (and same) sexes who just want casual sex at a certain point in time. It's not an inherently selfish thing.

Besides, too much of anything - pretty much - can lead to bad habits, and if the desire to have a casual fling isn't outweighed by your commitment to your life partner, then you probably shouldn't be in that relationship anyway.

I don't think the problem here is the fact that /he/ wants sex, but the way his mom is using to someone to fuck his son. Advertising like that, she's just putting a "ridiculous" sign on top of the whole... uhm... happening. (ugh, screwed up some meanings)

...what the fuck?
I hate humanity all the more, now. And liberals, I guess. Or maybe just those that believe this strongly in "everyone is equal." (I think the better ideal is providing everyone the same chance to succeed at life, but whether they actually make the most of that chance comes down to the person himself... but some people are still clearly worth more than others. But that's probably a tangential argument.)

I wouldn't be so mad if the mother helped him look for a happy relationship instead of constantly talking about sex, or if her son showed any interest in the same. Sex would come from a happy relationship, but they're only explicitly interested in a one-night stand. Even people who have much better chances than this guy have to settle for relationships where they don't get anything sexual for a while into the relationship, and there are also plenty more eligible than him but have about as much dating success. In fact, there are also plenty of people roughly on this guy's level who aren't down with the Downs but who are single -- this should tell you that desirability is based on personal qualities, not simple facts alone about diseases the person might have; Down's is only indirectly responsible because it makes him less appealing, and it's being so unappealing that gives him an unsuccessful love life. A mother wouldn't likely sink this low ("we thought about hiring a prostitute") for a mentally healthy deadbeat of a son, as she shouldn't, and I don't think having a son with Down's gives you license to set aside a minimal amount of moral integrity.

Miss Baxter wrote:'Why shouldn't he enjoy the same experiences as other men his age?'

Because he's different from other men his age, and in a really unfortunate goddamned way. Dating is a market, and he's horribly ill-equipped to compete in it. He's not as capable as an average man his age, and that's why he shouldn't expect to enjoy the same experiences as other men his age. Especially when his Bebo profile is "MY NAME IS OTTO BAKER I LOVE HAM PIZZAS AND A FAMOUS ACTOR". He's stupid, just like a lot of genetically healthy people are stupid and don't get any love because of it. "I LIKE FOOTBALL I SUPPORT.. MILLWALL COME ON YPU LINONS I ENJOY SWIMMING". Come the fuck on. The Linons suck anyway.
Besides which, as I said earlier, plenty of men his age who don't have Down's and are generally more eligible a bachelor than he is also don't have these experiences.

Miss Baxter wrote:[Getting a girlfriend pregnant is] another experience everyone else goes through so why not him?

False.

Miss Baxter wrote:He has the same expectations as everybody else. If he doesn't get a girlfriend, I will feel really bad, because I have sold him this thing that he is like everybody else.

Then why did you lie to him?

Miss Baxter wrote:Why should these people be kept separate and pigeon-holed when they have the same emotions, desires and feelings as so called 'normal' people.

atob, you've been saying that wanting that sort of physical intimacy is normal, and I completely agree, but the point is being muddled here. The news story (and the mom) make it sound like dating is regulated and that Down's Syndrome sufferers are intentionally denied some opportunities that other people have, and that's completely not true. I will totally agree that he should have the ability to compete, just like anybody else.
And in this dude's case, his mom has him convinced that the Down's thing shouldn't be a problem, so now I can only imagine that he thinks he's lonely because he's not good enough, rather than realizing that it's not his fault he's as unappealing as he is. At least not as far as the Down's goes.

Miss Baxter wrote:I strongly believe that society has a learning disability when it comes to Down's Syndrome.

Kill yourself.

Tsukatu wrote: atob, you've been saying that wanting that sort of physical intimacy is normal, and I completely agree, but the point is being muddled here. The news story (and the mom) make it sound like dating is regulated and that Down's Syndrome sufferers are intentionally denied some opportunities that other people have, and that's completely not true. I will totally agree that he should have the ability to compete, just like anybody else.
And in this dude's case, his mom has him convinced that the Down's thing shouldn't be a problem, so now I can only imagine that he thinks he's lonely because he's not good enough, rather than realizing that it's not his fault he's as unappealing as he is. At least not as far as the Down's goes.

I can't possibly imagine what it must be like for the guy, I mean does he even get frustrated? And I don't just mean sexually. Is frustration at not being able to be understood, or not fitting in (or similar social inadequacies) something that he carries from moment to moment? Does he even know why he wants to have sex?

I'm pretty sure his cells work like ours do, and that his body yearns for sexual encounters just the same as people without his condition, my point being would him losing his virginity matter at all or make any kind of impact?

I still say if the guy gets laid because of this then fair play, and I really can't be bothered to get into what's right or wrong with the intent of the actual article, but:

Tsukatu wrote:

Miss Baxter wrote:I strongly believe that society has a learning disability when it comes to Down's Syndrome.

Kill yourself.

I completely agree.

Oh, so we're allowed to tell non-community members to POST CONTENT CLEANSED FOR YOUR PROTECTION ? :D

Anyway, I think that nobody should sleep with this guy, or feel guilted into it. On the other hand? Absolutely, he's entitled to want to have meaningless sex. Surprise! Monogamy isn't always the best answer to the "Which people should I have sex with?" question.

Maybe there's someone out there that really badly wants to have meaningless sex with a stupid guy.

It's worth noting that this woman has adopted and cared for four kids with Down's Syndrome. She's no doubt misguided, but I can't seem to get up a whole lot of hate for someone who would do that.

One commenter on another messageboard said this, which is better than whatever I could come up with:

The more general problem of a full-grown body containing a less-grown mind has to be addressed by a reasonable and caring treatment of mental diseases. Nobody speaks about this a lot, but many European countries have prostitutes specializing in mentally handicapped customers. They are hired by institutes mostly, though sometimes also privately (often by recommendation by said institutes). Sounds completely reasonable to me.

Tsukatu wrote:Even people who have much better chances than this guy have to settle for relationships where they don't get anything sexual for a while into the relationship

Who's to say they're settling? Some people don't want to have sex until later on.

Tsukatu wrote:

Miss Baxter wrote:I strongly believe that society has a learning disability when it comes to Down's Syndrome.

Kill yourself.

While I wouldn't quite put it that way, I agree with you here; that's absurd.

Mother sells out his son for sex

wait a minute.

PALEMOON wrote:

Mother sells out his son for sex

wait a minute.

Bah, I noticed that too but forgot to comment on it >.<

Tsukatu wrote:

Miss Baxter wrote:'Why shouldn't he enjoy the same experiences as other men his age?'

Because he's different from other men his age, and in a really unfortunate goddamned way. Dating is a market, and he's horribly ill-equipped to compete in it. He's not as capable as an average man his age, and that's why he shouldn't expect to enjoy the same experiences as other men his age. Especially when his Bebo profile is "MY NAME IS OTTO BAKER I LOVE HAM PIZZAS AND A FAMOUS ACTOR". He's stupid, just like a lot of genetically healthy people are stupid and don't get any love because of it. "I LIKE FOOTBALL I SUPPORT.. MILLWALL COME ON YPU LINONS I ENJOY SWIMMING". Come the fuck on. The Linons suck anyway.
Besides which, as I said earlier, plenty of men his age who don't have Down's and are generally more eligible a bachelor than he is also don't have these experiences.

Howabout he gets a girlfriend with DS. Wouldn't that solve the problem? They'd both feel normal, get what others are getting (kinda) and live happy lives.
Does a non-DS person really want to live with for the rest of their lives with a mentally ill man?
I think not

And also, why is the emphasis on sex? Why not living a happy life with a partner?
Seriously, which is more important. A one night stand?

ganteka wrote:Does a non-DS person really want to live with for the rest of their lives with a mentally ill man?

Yes, we do and it's ridiculous and offensive to think otherwise.

ganteka wrote:
Howabout he gets a girlfriend with DS. Wouldn't that solve the problem? They'd both feel normal, get what others are getting (kinda) and live happy lives.
Does a non-DS person really want to live with for the rest of their lives with a mentally ill man?
I think not

And also, why is the emphasis on sex? Why not living a happy life with a partner?
Seriously, which is more important. A one night stand?

I would argue that the importance of your so-called happy life with a partner is subjective, and that the importance of a one-night stand is entirely variable.

Did Invisible Christ teach you that the only way to Jesushappiness is by getting married to one person of the opposite sex? Because divorce rates disagree.

Anyway, I'd fuck this dude. He's not gay, so it's out of the question. But I feel it's my duty as a human to go down on mentally ill people.

Sad.

87654321 wrote:Sad.

Correct.

I'm opposed to this for different reasons:

If this guy's mom gets him laid, he's never going to learn how to get laid on his own. Eventually, his retarded ass is gonna be out there in the real world, trying to climb into vaginas, and he'll soon find that he didn't develop the necessary skills to achieve that.

I don't think having Down syndrome makes it any harder to get laid. I boned a chick who had Down syndrome once. At least, I figure that's what she had. She couldn't stop going down on things.

Why does she want him to have sex RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW?