Jokes

Play messageboard games, do silly question-and-answer things, and just waste some time with your fellow forum-goers. Post count does not accumulate. No pie allowed.
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Postby Vyacheslav » 2010.01.20 (18:32)

How did Sid Vicious die?

Because he had a heroin addi- oh.
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Postby Zer0 » 2010.01.23 (12:03)

You know what girls are made of? Sugar, Spice, EVERYTHING NICE?

Well Asian girls are made of Chicken, Rice and everything nice!
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Postby Drathmoore » 2010.01.23 (17:03)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Well, the question is, why do you want to know? Can't a chicken cross the street anymore without needing some sort of reason to do so?!


Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the other... Erm... Er...

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Postby Zer0 » 2010.01.24 (18:22)

Wow, you could actully make that joke funny? AMAZING.
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Postby Drathmoore » 2010.01.24 (20:29)

3 elephants jump off a cliff. The first two together, and the third slightly after them. The first two hit the ground, the last lands in water.

Da dum, tish!

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Postby Zer0 » 2010.01.25 (09:27)

One time 2 trains left the same station at the same time, but they cant. So they toppled over. Then they dusted themselfs of and got back on the track. One of them was going fast and the other was going slow. But the fast one was is the back so they toppled over again. HA HA!! Then they left and never saw eachother again.
---------------------------------
I didnt make that up.
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Postby Luminaflare » 2010.01.25 (16:15)

Zer0 wrote:One time 2 trains left the same station at the same time, but they cant. So they toppled over. Then they dusted themselfs of and got back on the track. One of them was going fast and the other was going slow. But the fast one was is the back so they toppled over again. HA HA!! Then they left and never saw eachother again.
---------------------------------
I didnt make that up.
...what?

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Postby Vyacheslav » 2010.01.25 (17:49)

Yeah that doesn't make much sense to me either.
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Postby Rhekatou » 2010.01.25 (18:16)

Why didn't George Washington's father punish him for chopping down the cherry tree?
Because he was still holding the axe!
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Postby Drathmoore » 2010.01.25 (18:47)

987654321 wrote:Yeah that doesn't make much sense to me either.
Maybe that's what is meant to be the joke...?

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Postby Rhekatou » 2010.01.25 (19:00)

Drathmoore wrote:
987654321 wrote:Yeah that doesn't make much sense to me either.
Maybe that's what is meant to be the joke...?
When you have to explain a joke, it's not funny.
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Postby otters » 2010.01.25 (22:56)

Rhekatou wrote:
Drathmoore wrote:
987654321 wrote:Yeah that doesn't make much sense to me either.
Maybe that's what is meant to be the joke...?
When you have to explain a joke, it's not funny.
Yeah, but when a joke isn't funny, that doesn't mean you shouldn't explain it.
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Postby Zer0 » 2010.01.27 (14:00)

Did you that there was a 2080? AHM... I meant 2000 A.D.?
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Postby Vyacheslav » 2010.01.27 (18:16)

Que?
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Postby Drathmoore » 2010.01.28 (20:59)

Zer0 wrote:Did you that there was a 2080? AHM... I meant 2000 A.D.?
80, similar to A.D. = Hilarious Pun.

Har Har deHardy Har.


What happens when you drop a piano down a mining shaft?

A Flat Minor.

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Postby ChrisE » 2010.01.31 (16:03)

What do you get when you integrate 1/cabin?

Haha! Clever, a natural log cabin!

No... a houseboat. You forgot to add the c!
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Postby SlappyMcGee » 2010.01.31 (16:39)

ChrisE wrote:What do you get when you integrate 1/cabin?

Haha! Clever, a natural log cabin!

No... a houseboat. You forgot to add the c!
That is the only good joke to come out of this thread. I appreciate you from a distance.
Loathes

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Postby Scrivener » 2010.02.01 (15:25)

Two snare drums and a symbol fall off a cliff.

*badum tish*


Two men walk into a bar. They pass, and become lawyers.
spoiler

<Uuni> i dont see the escape in religion


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Postby ChrisE » 2010.02.01 (17:58)

So, I saw a guy walking into Quik-Fit yesterday, looking rather depressed. So I said "Hey mate, what's up." He replied, "I'm retyring".

Sorry, Slappy.

Three guys by the names of Tom, Dick and Harry went to buy some shoes. Tom walks up to the assistant and asks if he can try some on. He tells him to get size 12s. Harry follows him, and asks for 14s. Dick is last to the guy, and says theat they have no shoes on display of his size, which is 18.

The assistant hurries away and returns later with Tom and Harry's shoes, and asks for Dick to follow him to the back, so he can get his specially made.

Dick tells Tom and Harry to wait in the Green Arms, the pub down the road, and that he will catch them up later. Upon entering the pub, the barmaid spots the shiny new shoes and remarks, "Wow, you fellas have rather big feet!"

To which Tom and Harry respond, "If you think these are big, wait until you see our Dick's!"

HARHARHAR
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Postby Zer0 » 2010.02.02 (18:01)

Did you know that iHop hooks up to the internet?
I would like a Chessey Omlette with HTML applications.
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Postby otters » 2010.02.04 (23:36)

Zer0 wrote:Did you that there was a 2080? AHM... I meant 2000 A.D.?
You mean...Twenty A.D., or 20 AD? :/
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