Metanet Forums

Granted but it flails you in the face and you die.

I wish for a Double-barrel shotgun that shoots out space-time pardoxes every now and then which often contain cartoon worlds with pirates and crazy butchers with chainsaw-armed monkeys.

You accidentally shoot yourself, and the cartoon worlds are produced inside you dead body.

I wish for a kettle with a muffin.

Granted, but they got morphed. Do you want a fluffy kettle or a metal-flavored muffin? You pick.
Honestly though, I would go for the fluffy kettle, because you can eat that and it won't taste gross.

I wish outright would change his sigatar. Those birdies bug me.

Ok, his sig. is now a live feed of everybody you care about being buried alive.
Does that bug you?
I wish someone would give me a A+ worthy, legal, completely complete w/ proper citations and bibliography, research paper on the vietnam war.

Ok, his sig. is now a live feed of everybody you care about being buried alive.
Does that bug you?
I wish someone would give me a A+ worthy, legal, completely complete w/ proper citations and bibliography, research paper on the vietnam war.

Wish granted, A 6 year old kid wrote "A+" on your paper and ate it.
I wish dolphins were extinct.

Granted but then the seas are over-populated by tuna and their tuna-ey smell mutates every living animal into a form of tuna, causing the original version of every species to become exstinct. CONGRATS YOU DOOMED MANKIND.

I wish for an electric burrito

wish granted, it electrocutes u

i wish for nothing to go wrong

granted, but things get really boring because nothing goes right either so the whole world commits mass suicide except you because you were sleeping.

i wish i had warmer socks.

Granted, but now you move in slo-mo.

I wish I had a bigger hard drive.

Granted, but then you buy a new computer.

I wish I could change my NUMA preset avatar.

Uh, you can..?

---

Granted, but you change it to something offensive then get banned from NUMA. You don't understand why you can't express your free will and and stab your computer. You realise you achieved nothing in this sequence of events, so you buy a second-hand laptop to replace it and use NUMA under a different profile. No-one suspects a thing and you go on using NUMA till you reach 93 and die of a massive stroke only to realise BluePretzel made this up and none of it actually happened....
You then have the erge to unknowingly self-redeem yourself by making a map.

I wish my low grade self-deleting web browser would stop glitching the hell outta NUMA (long story)

granted, but a virus picks up where it left off

Edit: ha, forgot to wish
I wish I could meet Mr_Lim

Granted, but it's not the Mr. Lim who is the highscoring prowess.

I wish Tim Burton would make more Beetlejuice episodes.

granted, but all the voice actors would be replaced with unbelievably annoying voices.

I wish I could stop procrastinating.

You stopped but your brain gets washed.
I wish my wish won't get corrupted

Granted, but it gets broken instead.

I wish for more candles :3

granted, but you run out of matches & lighter fluid

I wish for clean politics.

Granted, but a wild ranga appeared.

I wish I could have a custom title on NUMA.

Granted, but it's something offensive and you get disabled.

I wish I could get all xaelar's 0ths.

that corruption was weird xd
You get all the 0th places, but your computer blows up.
I wish I had better N skills

Granted, but a possum bites your fingers off.
I wish i failed at everything. (corrupt please)

Granted.
However, this corrupt wish also makes you fail breathing. You die.
THE END

I wish for a big cereal.

A man comes in and provides you with a large bowl of (insert your favorite cereal here). You have... no spoon.
I wish fish was extinct.

Granted.
Suddenly, a rather large spoon falls from the sky and clocks you over the head, knocking you into the ocean. You don't drown, having learnt how to tread water rather well, but an overstarved, fish-deprived shark mistakes you for a seal and bites you in half. You die.
Meanwhile, on the surface, I pick up the spoon that I threw at you and yell to the blood-puddle in the water; "TAKE THAT INVALID!!"
I dip the spoon in my big cereal and walk off happily.
THE END

I wish for more Happy Tree Friends (Google it if you don't know what it is, or YouTube it).