Riddles

Play messageboard games, do silly question-and-answer things, and just waste some time with your fellow forum-goers. Post count does not accumulate. No pie allowed.
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Postby lookatthisisgoodatn » 2008.12.11 (19:30)

Rambo5252 said something about this somewhere. Thanks for that! Post a riddle and the next poster tries to solve it. Then posts another riddle. And so on. I can't think of a riddle, so someone else will have to start.
I'll keep scores.
Solve: 1pt to the guy who solves the riddle.
Nobody solves your riddle until a day after it's posted: 1pt to the guy who posted the riddle.
So get posting!
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Postby Slayr » 2008.12.12 (02:11)

i've got one!

(it's not really a riddle)

Q: which one is real?

A) a unicorn

B) In-tune bagpipes

-OR-

C) neither

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Postby sheganican » 2008.12.12 (02:35)

the third option leads me to believe that bagpipes are never in tune, but that as well be a weird mess-with-your-head thing, so i'll go out on a limb and say its

B. In-tune bagpipes
(if i'm wrong, lemme know)

new Riddle:

how many months have 28 days?


and so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon i suppose.
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Postby Sniperwhere » 2008.12.12 (03:01)

All of them.

Size and shape it does not lack
but does top bottom front and back
A bending light around a bare tree
shining bright for all to see.

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Postby lookatthisisgoodatn » 2008.12.14 (19:01)

I'll only keep score for ones like this.
Uh... the sun?
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Postby lookatthisisgoodatn » 2009.01.15 (21:40)

Okay, 1 point to you.

Sniperwhere: 1 point.
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Postby everythingfromatoz » 2009.01.15 (21:45)

Pronounced differently but spelled the same
I have many meanings from obscure to mundane
In a trip across water I get there before you
In precipitation amazing, a marvel to awe you
One naming of me means to acknowledge the praise
I move fastest in music as the violin maestro plays
Taught to children of all ages , or trip up they would
I was also much favored by a notorious Hood.
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Postby bufar » 2009.01.19 (07:17)

Bow.
What walks on four feet in the morning, two in the afternoon and three at night?
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Postby Sithmaster » 2009.01.19 (16:52)

man


a woman's son's birthday is coming up,
at this birthday, the son will become 1/3 of the mothers age.
later that year, the mother has her birthday,
and she becomes 4 times as old as her son.
how old is she, (and where is the father?!?)
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

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Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby 乳头的早餐谷物 » 2009.01.19 (17:10)

Sithmaster wrote:man


a woman's son's birthday is coming up,
at this birthday, the son will become 1/3 of the mothers age.
later that year, the mother has her birthday,
and she becomes 4 times as old as her son.
how old is she, (and where is the father?!?)
The woman is a pregnant 3 year old.

Edit: no, wait, a 3 year old with a less-than-12-month-old baby. That's how we count these things, right?
M E A T N E T 1 9 9 2

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Postby Izzy » 2009.01.19 (17:14)

Orstor is pregnant.
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Postby blackbelmoral » 2009.01.19 (18:22)

a unicorn
Slayr wrote:i've got one!

(it's not really a riddle)

Q: which one is real?

A) a unicorn

B) In-tune bagpipes

-OR-

C) neither
YAR HAR!
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Postby Sithmaster » 2009.01.20 (01:49)

maestro, nice job (the father thing is just a joke about the girls young age)


okay, no one has posted another riddle (atleast, as I'm typing this), so here are a few;

what gets larger as you empty it?

What is as big as you are and yet does not weigh anything?

-and-

What do the letter ‘t’ and an island have in common?
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

Image
Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby Lightning55 » 2009.01.20 (21:32)

Sithmaster wrote:what gets larger as you empty it?
A hole
Sithmaster wrote:What is as big as you are and yet does not weigh anything?
Your shadow

Sithmaster wrote: What do the letter ‘t’ and an island have in common?
They both have 3 vowels

"thE lEttEr t"
"An IslAnd"
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Postby Sithmaster » 2009.01.20 (22:24)

Lightning55 wrote:
"thE lEttEr t"
"An IslAnd"
I was thinking waTer, but I guess that works too.


also, why is no one posting riddles?
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

Image
Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby Darkandroid » 2009.01.21 (00:26)

maestro wrote:
Sithmaster wrote:man


a woman's son's birthday is coming up,
at this birthday, the son will become 1/3 of the mothers age.
later that year, the mother has her birthday,
and she becomes 4 times as old as her son.
how old is she, (and where is the father?!?)
The woman is a pregnant 3 year old.

Edit: no, wait, a 3 year old with a less-than-12-month-old baby. That's how we count these things, right?
She has 2 sons.
doy
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Postby Sithmaster » 2009.01.21 (01:01)

dark, all though that could have been an answer, it was not the one I was looking for. maestro gets the point
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

Image
Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?



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