Wizard Date

Play messageboard games, do silly question-and-answer things, and just waste some time with your fellow forum-goers. Post count does not accumulate. No pie allowed.
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Postby blue_tetris » 2008.10.02 (05:20)

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Finn Swift wrote: Level: 1.
Class: Mage.

:: Stats ::
Face: 3.
Physique: 1.
Ass: 2.
Voice: 3.
Wit: 2.
Charm: 1.
Knowledge: 3.
Balls: 1.

:: Spells ::
Hide from undead.
Divine MBTI type.
True seeing.
Magic missile.
Divine cup size.
Know alignment.
Snake's tongue.
Divine asslore.
Voice of the titan.
Mordenkainen's lucubration.

:: Items ::
Liquid Balls.
The Periapt of Proof Against Golems.
What do I do?
Image
The Real N Sex on the Xerox Space Pimp Online Super Fluffy Pack 1! Super Fluffy Pack 2! Super Crunchy Pack! Mother Thumping Impossible: 2005 MotY! Time is on My Side: 2006 PMotY! Survival map king! Best humor award! Best satire award! Best voice award! Inadvertently intimidating! Assholier than thou! Gdubs is totally back! WIS 14! Cyberzone creator! Clique creator! Most lines on IRC! Ventrilo moderator and regular! Certified Dungeon Master! Most modest person ever! ENTP! Incorrigible alcoholic! CHA 19! AMERICAN! Least pretentious! Elitist extraordinaire! Liberal libertarian! Incapable of experiencing love! Check Safe! Commodore of the Eldritch Seas! Archmagus of the Eleventh Hall! Sheriff of the Uncharted West! Godfather of the IRC Mafia! Pun enthusiast! Quadster! Challenging Dunbar's number! Wikipedian!Approves of 4th Edition! 1,000 Blank White Cards! radio_free_tetris! Migratory! INT 18! Doesn't know when he's being genuine, therefore cannot form lasting relationships with people! Really into black chicks! Even more into Indian chicks and Blasians! Hates moderators! Loves the C word! Tronster! Thinks we should play more Worms! Always wins iSketch! Owns a Wii! Plays as Pikachu in Smash Bros! Wrote literotica! Wrote anime fanfic! Sorta into Asians! Lived and loved the 80's and 90's! Chattiest sig! Cyberzone ][ creator! Operand of the Greater Space Pimp Continuum! Helped lead the forum move!Wizard Date! Participated in the blue_tetris takeover! Pithiest one-liners! Walkin' on, walkin' on broken glass! Seems to have an invisible touch! Economist! Mario hackster! Owner of the most complex D&D campaign setting! Micromanagerial! FREEDOM is all-American! Slowly distancing! Supports the Democrats! Supports the old GOP! CATO Institute fanboy! Penn and Teller fan! Large, in charge, and on a barge! Heralded by community as genius hero! Proud yet humble recipient of the Mare & Raigan Award for 2008! CON 9! Dave of Nazareth! Communist is annoyed with me! Not half bad at images! F.Y.I. I am a medic! It's a spook house, lame ball. Too bad! Space Pimp II: Rags 2 Bitches! F.Y.I. I am a spy! Entire team is babbies! STR 10! Sorta appreciating scythe and atob again, for new reasons! Played CS:S briefly! Welcome to Nebraska! Do you think you can Live! Heist! Portrayer of the mighty 88 Shells! Joyous proprietor of the future estate of Kablizzy and blue_tetris! It's Batmen all the way up! They brought crystals to a sceince fight; that's a good way to lose your cat! Even SlappyMcGee! I'm about to run out of either primates or sexually transmitted diseases! One-upper! Toaster oven clairvoyant Mythomaniac! That's the Magic of Macy's! Half of Half! Spend all my time making love, all my love making time!

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Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2008.10.02 (05:24)

You met her on CraigsList and you're taking her at face value!?
Excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, and while in the stall cast True Seeing and Know Alignment. Come back out with a hand on your Periapt of Proof Against Golems.
[spoiler="you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai]"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai[/spoiler][/i]
spoiler

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Postby Snuggletummy » 2008.10.02 (05:44)

Slip your liquid balls into her drink.
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Cracked.com wrote:All video-game characters are in fact made of cotton candy. This theory, and only this theory, can explain the cat-like hydrophobia shared universally by their kind. How else are we to believe that Frogger, a frog, is killed instantly on contact with water?

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Postby 乳头的早餐谷物 » 2008.10.02 (05:46)

With hair like that, something's not right. Hide from undead.
M E A T N E T 1 9 9 2

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Postby blue_tetris » 2008.10.02 (06:08)

Tsukatu wrote:Excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, and while in the stall cast True Seeing and Know Alignment. Come back out with a hand on your Periapt of Proof Against Golems.
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The Real N Sex on the Xerox Space Pimp Online Super Fluffy Pack 1! Super Fluffy Pack 2! Super Crunchy Pack! Mother Thumping Impossible: 2005 MotY! Time is on My Side: 2006 PMotY! Survival map king! Best humor award! Best satire award! Best voice award! Inadvertently intimidating! Assholier than thou! Gdubs is totally back! WIS 14! Cyberzone creator! Clique creator! Most lines on IRC! Ventrilo moderator and regular! Certified Dungeon Master! Most modest person ever! ENTP! Incorrigible alcoholic! CHA 19! AMERICAN! Least pretentious! Elitist extraordinaire! Liberal libertarian! Incapable of experiencing love! Check Safe! Commodore of the Eldritch Seas! Archmagus of the Eleventh Hall! Sheriff of the Uncharted West! Godfather of the IRC Mafia! Pun enthusiast! Quadster! Challenging Dunbar's number! Wikipedian!Approves of 4th Edition! 1,000 Blank White Cards! radio_free_tetris! Migratory! INT 18! Doesn't know when he's being genuine, therefore cannot form lasting relationships with people! Really into black chicks! Even more into Indian chicks and Blasians! Hates moderators! Loves the C word! Tronster! Thinks we should play more Worms! Always wins iSketch! Owns a Wii! Plays as Pikachu in Smash Bros! Wrote literotica! Wrote anime fanfic! Sorta into Asians! Lived and loved the 80's and 90's! Chattiest sig! Cyberzone ][ creator! Operand of the Greater Space Pimp Continuum! Helped lead the forum move!Wizard Date! Participated in the blue_tetris takeover! Pithiest one-liners! Walkin' on, walkin' on broken glass! Seems to have an invisible touch! Economist! Mario hackster! Owner of the most complex D&D campaign setting! Micromanagerial! FREEDOM is all-American! Slowly distancing! Supports the Democrats! Supports the old GOP! CATO Institute fanboy! Penn and Teller fan! Large, in charge, and on a barge! Heralded by community as genius hero! Proud yet humble recipient of the Mare & Raigan Award for 2008! CON 9! Dave of Nazareth! Communist is annoyed with me! Not half bad at images! F.Y.I. I am a medic! It's a spook house, lame ball. Too bad! Space Pimp II: Rags 2 Bitches! F.Y.I. I am a spy! Entire team is babbies! STR 10! Sorta appreciating scythe and atob again, for new reasons! Played CS:S briefly! Welcome to Nebraska! Do you think you can Live! Heist! Portrayer of the mighty 88 Shells! Joyous proprietor of the future estate of Kablizzy and blue_tetris! It's Batmen all the way up! They brought crystals to a sceince fight; that's a good way to lose your cat! Even SlappyMcGee! I'm about to run out of either primates or sexually transmitted diseases! One-upper! Toaster oven clairvoyant Mythomaniac! That's the Magic of Macy's! Half of Half! Spend all my time making love, all my love making time!

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Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2008.10.02 (06:11)

I didn't say brandish the goddamned thing!
Alright, well, it looks horrific enough to be a monster, so... pretend it's some kind of monster that you've vanquished.
It's a long shot, but it's the best I've got right now.
...there's always stalking, anyway.
[spoiler="you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai]"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai[/spoiler][/i]
spoiler

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Postby Combo Bustperson » 2008.10.02 (06:12)

Magic missle! She has seen too much.
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Postby blue_tetris » 2008.10.02 (07:35)

Quote wrote:Magic missle! She has seen too much.
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Will Finn get lucky on his next date? You decide! In the next installment of WIZARD DATE!!!
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The Real N Sex on the Xerox Space Pimp Online Super Fluffy Pack 1! Super Fluffy Pack 2! Super Crunchy Pack! Mother Thumping Impossible: 2005 MotY! Time is on My Side: 2006 PMotY! Survival map king! Best humor award! Best satire award! Best voice award! Inadvertently intimidating! Assholier than thou! Gdubs is totally back! WIS 14! Cyberzone creator! Clique creator! Most lines on IRC! Ventrilo moderator and regular! Certified Dungeon Master! Most modest person ever! ENTP! Incorrigible alcoholic! CHA 19! AMERICAN! Least pretentious! Elitist extraordinaire! Liberal libertarian! Incapable of experiencing love! Check Safe! Commodore of the Eldritch Seas! Archmagus of the Eleventh Hall! Sheriff of the Uncharted West! Godfather of the IRC Mafia! Pun enthusiast! Quadster! Challenging Dunbar's number! Wikipedian!Approves of 4th Edition! 1,000 Blank White Cards! radio_free_tetris! Migratory! INT 18! Doesn't know when he's being genuine, therefore cannot form lasting relationships with people! Really into black chicks! Even more into Indian chicks and Blasians! Hates moderators! Loves the C word! Tronster! Thinks we should play more Worms! Always wins iSketch! Owns a Wii! Plays as Pikachu in Smash Bros! Wrote literotica! Wrote anime fanfic! Sorta into Asians! Lived and loved the 80's and 90's! Chattiest sig! Cyberzone ][ creator! Operand of the Greater Space Pimp Continuum! Helped lead the forum move!Wizard Date! Participated in the blue_tetris takeover! Pithiest one-liners! Walkin' on, walkin' on broken glass! Seems to have an invisible touch! Economist! Mario hackster! Owner of the most complex D&D campaign setting! Micromanagerial! FREEDOM is all-American! Slowly distancing! Supports the Democrats! Supports the old GOP! CATO Institute fanboy! Penn and Teller fan! Large, in charge, and on a barge! Heralded by community as genius hero! Proud yet humble recipient of the Mare & Raigan Award for 2008! CON 9! Dave of Nazareth! Communist is annoyed with me! Not half bad at images! F.Y.I. I am a medic! It's a spook house, lame ball. Too bad! Space Pimp II: Rags 2 Bitches! F.Y.I. I am a spy! Entire team is babbies! STR 10! Sorta appreciating scythe and atob again, for new reasons! Played CS:S briefly! Welcome to Nebraska! Do you think you can Live! Heist! Portrayer of the mighty 88 Shells! Joyous proprietor of the future estate of Kablizzy and blue_tetris! It's Batmen all the way up! They brought crystals to a sceince fight; that's a good way to lose your cat! Even SlappyMcGee! I'm about to run out of either primates or sexually transmitted diseases! One-upper! Toaster oven clairvoyant Mythomaniac! That's the Magic of Macy's! Half of Half! Spend all my time making love, all my love making time!

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Postby krusch » 2008.10.02 (07:55)

The graphics for this are fucking WICKED.

I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Last edited by krusch on 2008.10.02 (11:50), edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Kablizzy » 2008.10.02 (08:51)

Wahahahahah. Classy. I've always wanted Wizard Date back again.
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vankusss wrote:What 'more time' means?
I'm going to buy some ham.

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Postby origami_alligator » 2008.10.02 (09:12)

I'd like to make the request for Sleep Modifiers, where what players have caused Finn to do during the day effects his sleep for the night and may either add or subtract from his attributes, of which he will have to make up for in one way or another for the following day.
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Postby Creampudding » 2008.10.02 (22:30)

I like it, when can another "date" start? We gotta get this guy a girl!
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Postby blue_tetris » 2008.10.03 (00:15)

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Finn Swift wrote:Level: 1.
Class: Mage.

:: Stats ::
Face: 3.
Physique: 1.
Ass: 2.
Voice: 3.
Wit: 2.
Charm: 1 (2, with Axe).
Knowledge: 3.
Balls: 1.

:: Spells ::
Hide from undead.
Divine MBTI type.
True seeing.
Mage hand.
Divine cup size.
Know alignment.
Snake's tongue.
Divine asslore.
Voice of the titan.
Mordenkainen's lucubration.

:: Items ::
Liquid Balls.
Axe. (equipped)
iPod Shuffle.
Image
The Real N Sex on the Xerox Space Pimp Online Super Fluffy Pack 1! Super Fluffy Pack 2! Super Crunchy Pack! Mother Thumping Impossible: 2005 MotY! Time is on My Side: 2006 PMotY! Survival map king! Best humor award! Best satire award! Best voice award! Inadvertently intimidating! Assholier than thou! Gdubs is totally back! WIS 14! Cyberzone creator! Clique creator! Most lines on IRC! Ventrilo moderator and regular! Certified Dungeon Master! Most modest person ever! ENTP! Incorrigible alcoholic! CHA 19! AMERICAN! Least pretentious! Elitist extraordinaire! Liberal libertarian! Incapable of experiencing love! Check Safe! Commodore of the Eldritch Seas! Archmagus of the Eleventh Hall! Sheriff of the Uncharted West! Godfather of the IRC Mafia! Pun enthusiast! Quadster! Challenging Dunbar's number! Wikipedian!Approves of 4th Edition! 1,000 Blank White Cards! radio_free_tetris! Migratory! INT 18! Doesn't know when he's being genuine, therefore cannot form lasting relationships with people! Really into black chicks! Even more into Indian chicks and Blasians! Hates moderators! Loves the C word! Tronster! Thinks we should play more Worms! Always wins iSketch! Owns a Wii! Plays as Pikachu in Smash Bros! Wrote literotica! Wrote anime fanfic! Sorta into Asians! Lived and loved the 80's and 90's! Chattiest sig! Cyberzone ][ creator! Operand of the Greater Space Pimp Continuum! Helped lead the forum move!Wizard Date! Participated in the blue_tetris takeover! Pithiest one-liners! Walkin' on, walkin' on broken glass! Seems to have an invisible touch! Economist! Mario hackster! Owner of the most complex D&D campaign setting! Micromanagerial! FREEDOM is all-American! Slowly distancing! Supports the Democrats! Supports the old GOP! CATO Institute fanboy! Penn and Teller fan! Large, in charge, and on a barge! Heralded by community as genius hero! Proud yet humble recipient of the Mare & Raigan Award for 2008! CON 9! Dave of Nazareth! Communist is annoyed with me! Not half bad at images! F.Y.I. I am a medic! It's a spook house, lame ball. Too bad! Space Pimp II: Rags 2 Bitches! F.Y.I. I am a spy! Entire team is babbies! STR 10! Sorta appreciating scythe and atob again, for new reasons! Played CS:S briefly! Welcome to Nebraska! Do you think you can Live! Heist! Portrayer of the mighty 88 Shells! Joyous proprietor of the future estate of Kablizzy and blue_tetris! It's Batmen all the way up! They brought crystals to a sceince fight; that's a good way to lose your cat! Even SlappyMcGee! I'm about to run out of either primates or sexually transmitted diseases! One-upper! Toaster oven clairvoyant Mythomaniac! That's the Magic of Macy's! Half of Half! Spend all my time making love, all my love making time!

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Postby Luminaflare » 2008.10.03 (00:29)

DIVINE CUP SIZE!

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Postby Bigblargh » 2008.10.03 (00:29)

Let's not get too serious here too quickly. No spells. Just ask her what she's reading.
A BIGGER BLARGH THAN BEFORE A BIGGER BLARGH THAN BEFORE
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A BIGGER BLARGH THAN BEFORE A BIGGER BLARGH THAN BEFORE

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Postby Animator » 2008.10.03 (00:31)

Introduce yourself using the iPod shuffle as a term of conversation. Hopefully it might work out.
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Postby Turtle » 2008.10.03 (00:34)

If she makes conversation, find a good time to go to the bathroom, and apply the Axe to yourself. Not so much as to get her nauseous, though.

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Postby Snuggletummy » 2008.10.03 (00:35)

Well, you're a wizard correct? Cast a spell onto the Axe so that when you spray it onto yourself, you turn into a chocolate man. I think we all know what'll happen then. Maybe use Mage hand onto the guy next to you (If there is one, if not, then ignore this) to make it seem like he is hitting on her/annoying her. Suddenly, you then step in, beat the guy up, she loves you, and you're the hero!
Image
Cracked.com wrote:All video-game characters are in fact made of cotton candy. This theory, and only this theory, can explain the cat-like hydrophobia shared universally by their kind. How else are we to believe that Frogger, a frog, is killed instantly on contact with water?

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Postby  yahoozy » 2008.10.03 (00:39)

Equip iPod Shuffle, cast Voice of the Titan on yourself, and sing "The Warrior". You can tell by this chick's face that she digs Scandal.

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Postby blackson » 2008.10.03 (00:40)

Remove your ax, and question her of her experience with liquid balls.

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Postby t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư » 2008.10.03 (01:47)

Play it cool for now, maybe smile at her, but don't strike up a conversation just yet. Wait for someone to wander by - and make sure they're scrawny - and use Mage Hand on her ass from his side so she thinks he grabbed her ass. Come to her rescue by knocking the dude out (maybe Axe him in the eyes if you need to), and then introduce yourself.
Chicks dig chivalry. Especially the slutty ones.
[spoiler="you know i always joked that it would be scary as hell to run into DMX in a dark ally, but secretly when i say 'DMX' i really mean 'Tsukatu'." -kai]"... and when i say 'scary as hell' i really mean 'tight pink shirt'." -kai[/spoiler][/i]
spoiler

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Postby blue_tetris » 2008.10.03 (01:56)

Bigblargh wrote:Let's not get too serious here too quickly. No spells. Just ask her what she's reading.
Image

What do I do next?
Image
The Real N Sex on the Xerox Space Pimp Online Super Fluffy Pack 1! Super Fluffy Pack 2! Super Crunchy Pack! Mother Thumping Impossible: 2005 MotY! Time is on My Side: 2006 PMotY! Survival map king! Best humor award! Best satire award! Best voice award! Inadvertently intimidating! Assholier than thou! Gdubs is totally back! WIS 14! Cyberzone creator! Clique creator! Most lines on IRC! Ventrilo moderator and regular! Certified Dungeon Master! Most modest person ever! ENTP! Incorrigible alcoholic! CHA 19! AMERICAN! Least pretentious! Elitist extraordinaire! Liberal libertarian! Incapable of experiencing love! Check Safe! Commodore of the Eldritch Seas! Archmagus of the Eleventh Hall! Sheriff of the Uncharted West! Godfather of the IRC Mafia! Pun enthusiast! Quadster! Challenging Dunbar's number! Wikipedian!Approves of 4th Edition! 1,000 Blank White Cards! radio_free_tetris! Migratory! INT 18! Doesn't know when he's being genuine, therefore cannot form lasting relationships with people! Really into black chicks! Even more into Indian chicks and Blasians! Hates moderators! Loves the C word! Tronster! Thinks we should play more Worms! Always wins iSketch! Owns a Wii! Plays as Pikachu in Smash Bros! Wrote literotica! Wrote anime fanfic! Sorta into Asians! Lived and loved the 80's and 90's! Chattiest sig! Cyberzone ][ creator! Operand of the Greater Space Pimp Continuum! Helped lead the forum move!Wizard Date! Participated in the blue_tetris takeover! Pithiest one-liners! Walkin' on, walkin' on broken glass! Seems to have an invisible touch! Economist! Mario hackster! Owner of the most complex D&D campaign setting! Micromanagerial! FREEDOM is all-American! Slowly distancing! Supports the Democrats! Supports the old GOP! CATO Institute fanboy! Penn and Teller fan! Large, in charge, and on a barge! Heralded by community as genius hero! Proud yet humble recipient of the Mare & Raigan Award for 2008! CON 9! Dave of Nazareth! Communist is annoyed with me! Not half bad at images! F.Y.I. I am a medic! It's a spook house, lame ball. Too bad! Space Pimp II: Rags 2 Bitches! F.Y.I. I am a spy! Entire team is babbies! STR 10! Sorta appreciating scythe and atob again, for new reasons! Played CS:S briefly! Welcome to Nebraska! Do you think you can Live! Heist! Portrayer of the mighty 88 Shells! Joyous proprietor of the future estate of Kablizzy and blue_tetris! It's Batmen all the way up! They brought crystals to a sceince fight; that's a good way to lose your cat! Even SlappyMcGee! I'm about to run out of either primates or sexually transmitted diseases! One-upper! Toaster oven clairvoyant Mythomaniac! That's the Magic of Macy's! Half of Half! Spend all my time making love, all my love making time!

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Postby blackson » 2008.10.03 (02:18)

Equip your ax, use your charm spell with your bonus point thus giving 2.

Go in for the smooch, and hope for the best.

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Postby LittleViking » 2008.10.03 (02:31)

Oh man, you don't want to misspeak. Let the music do the talking. Ask her if she wants to listen to the next track on your iPod shuffle which, conveniently, gives you no control over what song will actually play.
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The last Metroid is in captivity. The galaxy is at peace...

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Postby blackson » 2008.10.03 (02:40)

LittleViking wrote:Oh man, you don't want to misspeak. Let the music do the talking. Ask her if she wants to listen to the next track on your iPod shuffle which, conveniently, gives you no control over what song will actually play.
Oh shit. That one's nice.


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