Cheesy/Lame Jokes

Play messageboard games, do silly question-and-answer things, and just waste some time with your fellow forum-goers. Post count does not accumulate. No pie allowed.
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Postby behappyy » 2009.03.23 (23:37)

Everybody knows some really lame jokes that they tell people.

I'll start us off.
When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar

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Postby Studebacher Hoch » 2009.03.23 (23:38)

When it's a widow who's husband died in the Isreali-Palestinian conflict!

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Postby Universezero » 2009.03.24 (01:16)

Why was the animal trainer at Seaworld a good person?

Because she always did what she otter.

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Postby Shark » 2009.03.24 (03:10)

What is it called when you house a mommy ant, a daddy ant, and 8 baby ants and charge them monthly rent?

They're called.. TENANTS! (10-ants!) HAHAHHAHAHAHA.


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Postby Tanner » 2009.03.24 (12:31)

What do you call a glove in love?

Smitten!

What do you call an absurdist dromedary?

A Camus!

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Postby wolfgang » 2009.03.24 (12:41)

What do you call it when you're boss gives you a haircut?

A fringe benefit


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Postby SlappyMcGee » 2009.03.24 (13:35)

What do you call a bunch of guys who have a long-standing association in a forum who post either too rarely or far too often, and ultimately have no respect for eachother?

Yale.

Loathes

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Postby 29403 » 2009.03.24 (22:38)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It was a government conspiracy.

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Postby scythe » 2009.03.24 (23:07)

A man walks into a bar...

His alcoholism is destroying his family.

As soon as we wish to be happier, we are no longer happy.

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Postby toasters » 2009.03.24 (23:16)

scythe33 wrote:
A man walks into a bar...

His alcoholism is destroying his family.

. . .

That's a kneeslapper.
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Postby blackbelmoral » 2009.03.24 (23:36)

im just using the guy above me.
wanna hear a bad joke?

toasters

YAR HAR!
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Postby scythe » 2009.03.25 (00:31)

Your mama's so fat...

She could be at serious risk for heart disease or diabetes.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

It was dead

As soon as we wish to be happier, we are no longer happy.

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Postby blackbelmoral » 2009.03.25 (01:42)

How many ducks are in a pond?

...How ever many nature put in there...

YAR HAR!
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Atilla wrote:If I offer a position, particularly one that requires a degree of responsibility and maturity, verbally abusing me because you missed the position will only confirm my belief that you were not the best candidate

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Postby golf » 2009.03.25 (05:50)

scythe33 wrote:
A man walks into a bar...

His alcoholism is destroying his family.

A man walks into a bar...

The second man ducked.

How is a sanctuary like a Star Wars fight?

Everywhere you look it's "pew pew pew"

[16:24] <@golfkid> I'm pretty sure I will literally scream if I die on the last column of 78-4 at this point
[16:25] <trance> Oh, yeah. That level.
[16:29] <@golfkid> lol
[16:30] <@golfkid> It looks so simple
[16:30] <@golfkid> But it says "NO! I will rape your sanity!"
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Postby behappyy » 2009.03.26 (01:30)

Two Yo mama jokes
Yo mama is so ugly...

when Obama saw her he lost hope.

Yo mama so stupid...

she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

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Postby Atilla » 2009.03.26 (11:52)

Solar-powered flashlights are actually quite useful, especially if you're camping way out in the wilderness. Because, you know, we have these amazing things called "rechargeable batteries" that let you store power during the day and then use it later.
What's the difference between a duck?

One of its legs are both the same.


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Postby otters » 2009.03.26 (17:46)

You read my mind, Atilla.
What do you get when you squeeze an olive?

Oliver Twist.

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?

Polly Unsaturated.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

What do you call a man that doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idear.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idear.

AR AR AR
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Postby Studebacher Hoch » 2009.03.26 (18:37)

Did you hear about the gay Dwarf?

His name was Alfred. One night, he had unprotected sex with his lover, Mercutio. Mercutio was HIV positive. Now Alfred is HIV positive.


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Postby Kablizzy » 2009.03.26 (19:03)

What kind of poison do pirates use?

http://quotes.maestrosync.com/view.php?325

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Postby scythe » 2009.03.26 (19:29)

As soon as we wish to be happier, we are no longer happy.

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Postby deltainferno » 2009.03.26 (19:40)

Your mum's so poor...

she cant afford to pay attention

chuck norris jokes?
when chuck norris gets thrown in water, he doesnt get wet,

the water gets 'chuck norris'd'

one word. lol.
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Postby unoriginal name » 2009.03.27 (00:50)

What kind of waves do books ride?

Title waves!

Knock knock!

WHO THE FUCK IS BANGING AT MY DOOR
GO AWAY
GOD


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Postby Izzy » 2009.03.27 (00:52)

Knock Knock!

Come in.

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Postby Pembie » 2009.03.27 (06:15)

Want to hear a joke?

Women's Rights


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Postby T3chno » 2009.03.27 (06:22)

Two muffins in an oven. One says "It's hot in here"

The other says "WTF TALKING MUFFIN!!!11!!"

2 Indians are standing on a hill.

One says "UGH".
Other says "UGH".
The first says "UGH".
So the other one says: "Stop changing the subject."

Difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

Snowballs

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