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Drathmoore wrote:Two crisps walk down a street.

One was assualted.

MattKestrel wrote:

Drathmoore wrote:Two crisps walk down a street.

One was assualted.

IT'S PEANUTS YOU MORMON D:

Drathmoore wrote:
And time for another bad joke!

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

scythe wrote:[00:06:43] <scythe> Mahatma Gandhi walked around barefoot most of the time
[00:06:51] <scythe> which produced a lot of callouses on his feet.
[00:07:01] <scythe> He also ate very little, which made him very frail,
[00:07:10] <scythe> and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
[00:07:12] <scythe> This made him
[00:07:23] <scythe> A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

Yanni wrote:[00:14:38] <@Yanni> Two mathematicians are at a beach trying to figure out how the amount of suntan a person gets varies with the outside temperature.
[00:15:33] <@Yanni> After various tests, they found that at 60 degrees F, they had a 7% suntan.
[00:15:55] <@Yanni> At 70 degrees F, it was a 15% suntan.
[00:16:08] <@Yanni> At 80 degrees, 23% suntan.
[00:16:17] <@Yanni> At 90 degrees, it went down to 0%.
[00:16:27] <@Yanni> For weeks, they were desperate to understand the results.
[00:16:35] <@Yanni> Finally, the answer came to them.
[00:16:41] <@Yanni> "Of course!" one says to the other
[00:16:49] <@Yanni> "The tan of 90 degrees does not exist"

scythe wrote:[00:17:40] <scythe> Alright, so two friars were looking for a way to raise money.
[00:17:51] <scythe> They decided to open a florist shop in the church during the week.
[00:18:21] <scythe> Of course, since everyone liked to buy flowers from the friars, the florist across town, Hugh, thought they were unfair competition.
[00:18:37] <scythe> So Hugh begged the friars to stop selling flowers.
[00:18:43] <scythe> they ignored him.
[00:19:27] <scythe> The next day, he went to their store and beat the crap out of them and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close the store.
[00:19:37] <scythe> In the end
[00:19:49] <scythe> it turned out that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Yanni wrote:[00:20:18] <@Yanni> A couple is walking down a street in Communist Russia.
[00:20:45] <@Yanni> The wife feels something on her arm, and says to her husband "Honey, I think it's beginning to rain."
[00:21:03] <@Yanni> The husband disagrees. "No no," he says. "That's no rain."
[00:21:28] <@Yanni> This argument goes back and forth for some minutes, until they come across a local walking the opposite way.
[00:21:49] <@Yanni> "Sir?" calls the husband. "Sir, what is your name?" "Rudolph," the man replies.
[00:22:09] <@Yanni> "Do you think it's raining at the moment? My wife and I are having an argument about this."
[00:22:19] <@Yanni> The man looks up, and ponders for a while.
[00:22:33] <@Yanni> Looks back at him, and decides "No, no it's not raining."
[00:22:48] <@Yanni> The couple walk away, the husband satisfied as he thinks he's won.
[00:23:02] <@Yanni> The wife is still not convinced. "Who says he's right?"
[00:23:12] <@Yanni> The husband smiles, looks over to his wife, and says
[00:23:20] <@Yanni> "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

guy_zap wrote:The second I saw this I thought "I'm gonna tell my muffin joke!". Read the first post. God dammit.

guy_zap wrote:

guy_zap wrote:The second I saw this I thought "I'm gonna tell my muffin joke!". Read the first post. God dammit.

I just realised that this is like posting "I don't have any jokes" in a joke forum :S

beethoveN wrote:it's better to be burned at the stake then hve your head chopped off by a guillotine, you know why? because a hot stake is better than a cold chop! (if you dont get it read aloud)

MattKestrel wrote:Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven has an heroin addiction, and it's tearing him apart.