The Fernat Epic: A Map Pack and Short Story
Posted: 2008.11.01 (16:26)
Yes, the title is true. It's not only a map pack, but a short story. Before I tell my little story, I haven't written a short story since we had to for elementary school. I am not an arts major. I am a computer science major: my vocabulary consists of "If, else, try, catch, push, pop..." I have also completely forgetten about how you are supposed to indent stuff around quotations and stuff like that, BUT THIS IS THE INTERNET! And we all know the internet doesn't speak English, it speaks broken English! (Among other things).
EDIT: It appears you cannot indent here anyways.
Also, count all of the references. There's currently 5 different references in part 1 and another in Part 2. They are included at the bottom of the story incase you missed them.
The Fernat Epic: Part 1 [Beginnings]
Today, we join 2 great treasure hunters, Fernat and Archenemedes, as they search an old abandoned mine for traces of whatever valuables had been previously sought after in these mines. After searching the mines for some time, our 2 explorers have just about given up on finding anything of value.
"The mine must be exhausted and all of it's valuables extracted." says Fernat. "Probably why it was abandoned."
But just as he is about to leave, Fernat hears a sound. A feignt voice. A robot-like voice... singing?
"This was a failure! I'm making a note here: epic fail".
Fernat suddenly felt a chill. Could this voice be that of the terrible SaDOS? (Sarcastic and Deadly Ownage System) The drone that swept terror across the land, claiming the lives of thousands of innocents more than one hundred years ago? Could it be possible that SaDOS was not destroyed when the ninjas brought hordes of gray cubes down onto him and his army?
"Can you believe this?" said Fernat to...
Nobody.
"Archenemedes? Archenemedes!" yelled Fernat.
A sudden burst of evil laughter caught Fernat by suprise. He spun around to see Archenemedes sanding infront of him with a small batallion of drones behind him.
"What? What are you doing?" yelled Fernat. "Why are they not attacking you?".
"I think you know the answer to that" said Archenemedes, whose voice now sounded much more robotic. "And I know you know too much".
A strong punch in the chest send Fernat stumbling back.
"I hear nothing! I see nothing! I know NOTHING... NOTHING!" protested Fernat.
BAM! Another strong blow send Fernat tumbling sideways and off of a small ledge. As he pulled him self up his eye caught sight of something. Through a small crack in the rocks, he saw something: an entire army of drones, being lead by none other than SaDOS himself.
They must be preparing to attack the surface! thought Fernat to himself. "I need to do something to stop them! Maybe I could collapse the tunnels? This is incredible!".
"Indredible!?!" said the now very robotic void of Archenemedes. "THIS IS ROBOTICUSLAND!!"
Archenemedes's kick send Fernat flying through the air. He crashed through some suport beams as he fell deep down into the mine...
(Yeah, the normal doors represent the support beams at the end of this part of the story)
The Fernat Epic: Part 2 [On The Run]
Suddenly remembering his experience in the Great War, Fernat's ninja instinct kicked in. With a physics-defying leap he instantaneously changed his velocity, surviving the great drop. Before he had time to think, a rocket smashed into the ground in front him him. The flying debris knocked him on his back, but luckily, being a high-ranking ninja, he could take a beating even better than the Skipper. Another rocket came flying through the air. With lightning reflexed, Fernat sidestepped, dodging the rocket. He leaped up the stairs, barely rolling under a group of Thwumps. As be began walking across the broken support beams he had previously fallen through, a floorguard from the above beam zipped off of the beam above it, smashing into a rocket behind Fernat. With a few elegant leaps, rolls, and dodges Fernat found himself back above the pit. He looked around for Achenemedes, but instead he found himself face to face with a zap drone. Fernat bolted backwards, running through the mines. The constant beeping of the drone drawing closer with every step. Fernat summoned all of his strength and ran as fast as he could, slowly separating the distance between him and the drone. Then he saw it. A dead end. There was no where to go. His mind raced trying to look for an escape. Just as the drone was about to reach him, there was a thundering BOOM, the ground shook then fell apart beneath him. The tunnel roof broke apart and collapsed. Fernat fell onto some steps, and fell back just as the tunnel above him crashed down. He had made it, but where was he now? Seeing no where else to go, he headed for the stairs in this new chamber, which he had never seen before. Fernat let out a sigh of relief, then started walking up the stairs. He thought he had escaped the chaos, but as he reached the final step he yet again found himself face to face with a drone. This time a thwump...
Pop Culture References, Famous People References, Fictional Character References, etc. (No Rickrolls! ...yet)
Part 1
Fermat and Archimedes: Two well-known mathematicians (among other things). You've probably heard of Archimedes, but maybe not Fermat.
GLaDOS: The antagonist of the game Portal which instantly became a hit and was pretty quickly... inducted I guess... into popular culture!
Sgt. Schultz: From the old TV show Hogan's Heroes. ["I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know NOTHING!"]
Leonidas: From the movie 300. I don't think I need to explain anything here. ["Madness? This is SPARTA!" *kick*]
Part 2
Skipper: poor Skipper was always the receiver in slapstick comedy in Gilligan's Island. I wonder how high up a coconut would have to fall from to kill someone?
EDIT: It appears you cannot indent here anyways.
Also, count all of the references. There's currently 5 different references in part 1 and another in Part 2. They are included at the bottom of the story incase you missed them.
The Fernat Epic: Part 1 [Beginnings]
Today, we join 2 great treasure hunters, Fernat and Archenemedes, as they search an old abandoned mine for traces of whatever valuables had been previously sought after in these mines. After searching the mines for some time, our 2 explorers have just about given up on finding anything of value.
"The mine must be exhausted and all of it's valuables extracted." says Fernat. "Probably why it was abandoned."
But just as he is about to leave, Fernat hears a sound. A feignt voice. A robot-like voice... singing?
"This was a failure! I'm making a note here: epic fail".
Fernat suddenly felt a chill. Could this voice be that of the terrible SaDOS? (Sarcastic and Deadly Ownage System) The drone that swept terror across the land, claiming the lives of thousands of innocents more than one hundred years ago? Could it be possible that SaDOS was not destroyed when the ninjas brought hordes of gray cubes down onto him and his army?
"Can you believe this?" said Fernat to...
Nobody.
"Archenemedes? Archenemedes!" yelled Fernat.
A sudden burst of evil laughter caught Fernat by suprise. He spun around to see Archenemedes sanding infront of him with a small batallion of drones behind him.
"What? What are you doing?" yelled Fernat. "Why are they not attacking you?".
"I think you know the answer to that" said Archenemedes, whose voice now sounded much more robotic. "And I know you know too much".
A strong punch in the chest send Fernat stumbling back.
"I hear nothing! I see nothing! I know NOTHING... NOTHING!" protested Fernat.
BAM! Another strong blow send Fernat tumbling sideways and off of a small ledge. As he pulled him self up his eye caught sight of something. Through a small crack in the rocks, he saw something: an entire army of drones, being lead by none other than SaDOS himself.
They must be preparing to attack the surface! thought Fernat to himself. "I need to do something to stop them! Maybe I could collapse the tunnels? This is incredible!".
"Indredible!?!" said the now very robotic void of Archenemedes. "THIS IS ROBOTICUSLAND!!"
Archenemedes's kick send Fernat flying through the air. He crashed through some suport beams as he fell deep down into the mine...
(Yeah, the normal doors represent the support beams at the end of this part of the story)
The Fernat Epic: Part 2 [On The Run]
Suddenly remembering his experience in the Great War, Fernat's ninja instinct kicked in. With a physics-defying leap he instantaneously changed his velocity, surviving the great drop. Before he had time to think, a rocket smashed into the ground in front him him. The flying debris knocked him on his back, but luckily, being a high-ranking ninja, he could take a beating even better than the Skipper. Another rocket came flying through the air. With lightning reflexed, Fernat sidestepped, dodging the rocket. He leaped up the stairs, barely rolling under a group of Thwumps. As be began walking across the broken support beams he had previously fallen through, a floorguard from the above beam zipped off of the beam above it, smashing into a rocket behind Fernat. With a few elegant leaps, rolls, and dodges Fernat found himself back above the pit. He looked around for Achenemedes, but instead he found himself face to face with a zap drone. Fernat bolted backwards, running through the mines. The constant beeping of the drone drawing closer with every step. Fernat summoned all of his strength and ran as fast as he could, slowly separating the distance between him and the drone. Then he saw it. A dead end. There was no where to go. His mind raced trying to look for an escape. Just as the drone was about to reach him, there was a thundering BOOM, the ground shook then fell apart beneath him. The tunnel roof broke apart and collapsed. Fernat fell onto some steps, and fell back just as the tunnel above him crashed down. He had made it, but where was he now? Seeing no where else to go, he headed for the stairs in this new chamber, which he had never seen before. Fernat let out a sigh of relief, then started walking up the stairs. He thought he had escaped the chaos, but as he reached the final step he yet again found himself face to face with a drone. This time a thwump...
Pop Culture References, Famous People References, Fictional Character References, etc. (No Rickrolls! ...yet)
Part 1
Fermat and Archimedes: Two well-known mathematicians (among other things). You've probably heard of Archimedes, but maybe not Fermat.
GLaDOS: The antagonist of the game Portal which instantly became a hit and was pretty quickly... inducted I guess... into popular culture!
Sgt. Schultz: From the old TV show Hogan's Heroes. ["I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know NOTHING!"]
Leonidas: From the movie 300. I don't think I need to explain anything here. ["Madness? This is SPARTA!" *kick*]
Part 2
Skipper: poor Skipper was always the receiver in slapstick comedy in Gilligan's Island. I wonder how high up a coconut would have to fall from to kill someone?