Metanet Forums

I will put a new one one every saturday!
#1

First of all, welcome to the forums!

Second, that was crap! Specifically, and suggestions:

• The joke was too short in the middle, and too long at the end.
  The custom-made speech bubbles are bad for 5 different reasons. Either eliminate them entirely or clean them up.
  Your font is too skinny for a webcomic. Bold and larger please
  The slanted text in panel 8 is unnecessary. Don't use special effects if there are not special circumstances.
  You have two extra panels at the bottom, which I could have counted as an oversight had your vertical column not gone through them
  You completely fail at drawing straight lines (panels 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10) and putting the ninjas on the floor (panels 2,3,6,7,8,9,10... but only 5 was really done right)
  It is unclear who is speaking in panel 3 - made even more confusing by the context - due to the speech bubble issues.
  The dialogue at the end (aside from being completely unnecessary) did not make sense at all.
  In panel 7, the line thickness of the second ninja is less than any line anywhere in your comic.
  In your rush to copy + paste in panel 6, you cut off the end of the mecha-drone's gun and the back of his foot, and there's some black stuff on his front joint. Also, the top of the blue-backed drone has its top cut off.
  All the panels should have been roughly the same size as panel 1, or at least 3.
  The triple-dot does not look like it was made using the same (if any) text the rest was made of. Also, as the second ninja was confused, it is misleading to have it above his head as well. Actually, I can't say that with any certainty, as that gets back to the 'who was talking in panel 3' issue.
  Try and keep your text size more consistent.
  I'm going to repeat the part about the speech bubbles, because as I look for more issues that aren't nitpicks (you made a punctuation error in panel 6, alot isn't a word, etc. but... important stuff), all I see is the speech bubbles.

The absolute worst part of your comic is panel 6. If you take every single idea in that panel and never, ever use it again, I think your comic will drastically improve.

oh yeah i think you didn't see THIS IS MY FIRST WEBCOMIC!!!!!
I can't do ANYTHING about the text bubbles because GIMP dousn't have custom text bubbles!
if I messed up and put alot insted of a lot I think people know what I mean because again THIS IS MY FIRST WEBCOMIC! And how is box 6 bad other than being confused about who is talking first?I know I cut off some of the letters but I can't do anything about it!I had to change the font size because there was no other way to put the words in unless I make bigger text bubbles and at the ... part that wasn't even text at all I used the brush tool to make those I thought It would make it look better.I didn't rush when pasting the Mecha Drone I just maby made a mistake COPYING fron the sheet to my FIRST webcomic!I know that there are to extra boxes at the bottom I was going to put the end in them but I didn't have time!and what was the punctuation error in panel 6?so check back on saturday and tell me if it is better.I had to slant the text or it wouldn't fit!I repeat this is my FIRST WEBCOMIC!!!!

Yes, yes, welcome.

And honestly, I agree with pretty much all the constructive criticism Turiski gave you.

not just constructive critisism she said it was crap! nobody liked it on poll exept for 2 people.:(

I can't deny that, and I don't disagree with him either.. but if you'd read the next sentence...

Turiski wrote:Second, that was crap! Specifically, and suggestions:

I know but ALL of the things she said I couldn't help!

And that's why you soak in the suggestions, and improve.
Btw, he's a he.

lolzers wrote:I know but ALL of the things she said I couldn't help!

Right...

None of them.

You couldn't possibly:
use circles and the straight line tool for speech bubbles, or not have bubbles, just lines and text.
choose a different font (okay, I don't know about this one, but you could easily copy paste stuff from Word like Boredom does in small bit of code)
not slant text
not add extra panels
draw the border lines AFTER importing the graphics
remove the ambiguity in speakers, mostly by changing the speech bubbles.
or if you don't want to change the speech bubbles, AT LEAST MAKE THE THICKNESS CONSISTANT
not cut off sprites that established members of this community worked so hard to originally produce
made your panels bigger
use a similar text size for all the speakers

No, no. I'm pretty sure GIMP makes it impossible to do ANY of those things.

As for calling your comic crap: Yeah, that was harsh. As for your response that it's your first webcomic: sorry. Not an excuse. If it was n00bish, that would be one thing, but it honestly looks like you didn't even put any (read: enough) time in it. Oh, wait, you didn't:

lolzors wrote:I know that there are to extra boxes at the bottom I was going to put the end in them but I didn't have time!

Didn't have the time? You weren't exactly on a deadline for YOUR FIRST WEBCOMIC (zomg I can do that too!). Seriously. I'm not going to sit here and say how my first webcomic was a piece of art: it wasn't. But it wasn't anywhere near the realm of this.

I'm sorry if I'm hurting your feelings. There's just simply no way that I can express what you need to hear, and unfortunately don't want to hear, without using language like that (not crap, I'm sure I could have just as easily said what I did had I not said the word "crap," and again, I'm sorry for that). I'm sure you're a great guy, and I hope you trust me when I say I'm not so bad either. I'd sit down with you any day for coffee (okay, I hate coffee. Tea, maybe?) and we could talk about school and N, it just so happens that instead we met in this context and both of us obviously made bad first impressions.

In conclusion, I'm not Tsukatu; I'm not here to win arguments (great, now I'm going to get flack from Tsukatu), and I look forward to improvements. I'm going to drop it, and I'd appreciate it if you did as well.

EDIT: Bonus points for a kickass way to get 8 responses in the first response-day.

okay well, yes turiski was being a little harsh, but this isn't a job, you aren't on any deadlines, so instead of doing a rush job, spend some time actualy making the comics look nice. A very big detail which annoys everyone immensly is ninja's not touching the ground, or going through it. It is VERY important to make sure that the ninjas touch the ground. As for your speech bubbles, here turiski was pretty acurate, they came out terribly. I know that making comics on the computer is hardish, but try making 3-4 before posting any, this way you can choose which style you think looks best and use it consistantly.

"I don't think im ready for a webcomic, thanks for the comments, but I don't think I'll continue this."

You give up too easily. And you give up when you receive constructive criticism. If you put in time you will become a good comic maker. It's a decent start, just take the advice Turiski gave you, as it will help you a lot. Constructive Criticism is the best and most helpful thing to receive.

Also, try using the MAGIC WAND tool so the surrounding background of the ninja doesn't overlap the wall.

My first comic wasn't really amazing either, some random idiot said it should be locked forever... Not exactly constructive criticism

I'd hate to see you give up based on the comments you've gotten.

no, I'm not giving up, I might just stop the comic for a while but I'm not locking it.

One more thing, give credit to sprites that aren't yours. I'm hinting at the drones, really.

they didn't say to put credit,but it said it was by ignate

Ignate made the spritesheet, but the sprites have been made by other people, if you'd read the names.

ya I know
britannia
chasmyr
and other people

lolzers wrote:ya I know
britannia
chasmyr
and other people

Thus making you fully capable of giving them credit.

I REALLY wish you guys would understand that I had found out the I had made a mistake on making the web comic
I thought I could make one,but I found out I can't. So making web comics isn't my thing. So I am not going to continue this. And I am not fond of receiving constructive criticism so please don't try.

So you want to stay bad?

I do hope you keep on going in this. I laughed, and I enjoy the art style. You can import webcomic bubble for speech into GiMP, by the way, although I don`t remember how.

And, yeah, if you quit now, I'll hate you forever.

oh yeah you didn't give credit. That's plagerizem. I hear plagarizam is bad. Good Job :)

isaacx wrote:That's plagerizem. I hear plagarizam is bad. Good Job :)

Spelling Fail.

Seriously, don't give up because someone didn't like it. No matter what there is in the world, you can guarantee someone would hate it if they were informed. Otherwise, I'd have given up imaging ages ago :P

lolzers wrote:I am not fond of receiving constructive criticism so please don't try.

Serious? But that's the most helpful thing ever! Really. I ask for it all the time with my music.

Also, if you're thinking of quitting just because people said they didn't like it, that's stupid. If you're enjoying it, or want to do it, go for it. You can only get better with time.