My Great Mo

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Postby sept » 2009.06.24 (02:32)

"My Great Mo" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the pain of downloading and installing this monstrosity, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog of the tiles, objects and ninja is meaningless word flap. Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars. Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up. They are dumb as a rock.

This pack is brought to us by the same person who birthed the Yahoozy Licks Godhead series. Honestly, Faust made a better deal. This isn't a map pack so much as an exercise in ego masturbation.

The ninja are in a witless sitcom part of the time, and lot of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although--hello!--you can't outrun an explosion. They also make speeches like this one by Mason Lowrey: "Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!"

There are many great-looking babes in the pack, who are made up to a flawless perfection and look just like real women, if you are a junior fanboy whose experience of the gender is limited to lad magazines.

Aware that this pack was available in England seven hours before Toronto time and the morning papers would be on the streets, after writing the above I looked up the first reviews as a reality check. I was reassured: "Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!" (Bradshaw, Guardian); "Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!" (Tookey, Daily Mail); "A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!" (Edwards, Daily Mirror). The first American review, however, reported that it "feels destined to be the biggest pack of all time" (Todd Gilchrist, Cinematical). It’s certainly the biggest something of all time.

- Tanner Rogalsky, as ripped off of Roger Ebert
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Postby Tanner » 2009.06.24 (02:33)

Fuck the haters.
'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak

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Postby Rule » 2009.08.08 (16:30)

Well fuck me then.


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Postby aids » 2011.07.21 (15:42)

I revisited this to document my insights on individual maps. And stuff.
  • 00-0: Coat of Dust >> Good opener. The bounceblocks were a bit annoying though.
  • 00-1: Lima >> Scary level. The chainguns are good, but the gausses aren't.
  • 00-2: Ex Why Zee >> The bottomright gold are stupid. That's all.
  • 00-3: Axl Banshee Wail >> One of my favorite maps in the pack. Userlevel'd.
  • 00-4: Diamonds >> Holy shit. I got the most badass close call finishing this one.
  • 01-0: Oh Yeah >> Didn't like it. The gausses were mean.
  • 01-1: a lifetime >> Phew, I was scared when I was getting the gold. Lasers were perfect.
  • 01-2: GMD >> Fuck you. This is shit.
  • 01-3: Pink Socks >> While the two sections didn't go together well, it played fine.
  • 01-4: Fare thee well >> Another stupid map. There are way too many chasers.
  • 02-0: Spiel >> Yuck.
  • 02-1: Glock Nines >> I remember asking you to submit this to NUMA. Userlevel'd.
  • 02-2: Running Home >> Peculiar map. The gauss isn't that much of a threat, but it's fun to play.
  • 02-3: A Promise >> I kicked this map's ass by glitching through the locked to to get the exit switch. Userlevel'd.
  • 02-4: Show Me Love, Amanda >> I also remember this map on NUMA. You're really good at using lots of enemies at once.
  • 03-0: Curvy-X >> Didn't seem that well-made to me.
  • 03-1: Blocky-puzzle >> Seriously, uber? Sucky map.
  • 03-2: ThereAndBack >> Ah, this inspires me to make a similar style map. Userlevel'd.
  • 03-3: Mines >> I didn't bother going for the inside gold. I'm not a fan of minejumpers.
  • 03-4: Chaingun >> (Title is a lie. There are two chainguns.) I remember this one. Userlevel'd.
  • 03-5 Dawn Raider >> Throwaway map.
  • 03-6: Drones >> The pack would've been better without these last two maps.
Overall one of my favorite packs. Here are some demos for you.
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