So I'm taking Intermediate Creative Writing, and my first assignment is a short story (3 to 7 pages, single space) of my choosing. I can write anything, as my professor wished for the class to be as open ended as possible, which is awesome. Anyway, I have two weeks to write this, and this is where you come into play. About a month ago I wrote a short piece because I was in the middle of an actual essay and I felt the need to distract myself. It was entirely off of the top of my head, so it isn't very organized. What I ask of you is to let me know whether the following is intriguing/entertaining enough to be continued, or it's just such a mess/uninteresting/whatever that I should start a new story entirely. If you think I should continue the story as is, critique on what could be improved. If you don't like it, let me know why or give me suggestions for a new story. Other peoples ideas help me to create my own. Link is below, your help is appreciated.
http://pastebin.com/m6ed124e4
Critique!
-
- Remembering Hoxygen
- Posts: 969
- Joined: 2008.09.27 (21:40)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
- MBTI Type: INFP
- Location: SoCal
- Contact:
"How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign'd" ~ Alexander Pope
"Boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars" ~ Hugh Laurie
-
- Queen of All Spiders
- Posts: 4263
- Joined: 2008.09.29 (03:54)
- NUMA Profile: http://www.freeWoWgold.edu
- MBTI Type: ENFP
- Location: Quebec, Canada!
I refuse to read this because it eschewed the creativity thread.
Loathes
-
- Remembering Hoxygen
- Posts: 969
- Joined: 2008.09.27 (21:40)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
- MBTI Type: INFP
- Location: SoCal
- Contact:
Fine! I'll put it there as well.
"How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign'd" ~ Alexander Pope
"Boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars" ~ Hugh Laurie
-
- "Asked ortsz for a name change"
- Posts: 3380
- Joined: 2008.11.13 (16:47)
I think you tried for some sort of long-winded, ironic tone that didn't really work. I kept getting distracted halfway into your sentences.
(I would hazard a guess that you work in the "food service" industry, btw?)
(I would hazard a guess that you work in the "food service" industry, btw?)
the dusk the dawn the earth the sea
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests