The most hilarious online advertisements/scams you have seen
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- Yet Another Harshad
- Posts: 471
- Joined: 2008.10.24 (09:39)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/z3phyr
- MBTI Type: ISTP
- Location: Australia
Orange- N cannot be spoken, or even thought about in my household. If my parents ever found out that I have played N since the cleansing, my life would be ruined. I keep the game in a multi-passworded .rar on a USB flash drive inside a locked boron alloy container that requires two keys to open (I keep one under the 64th hammer in my piano, and the other one in a small section of removable ceiling in the corner of the attic) hidden in a wall compartment lined with aluminium foil to prevent sonar detection behind my 375 kg cupboard, which is bolted to the floor - the only way to reach it is to abseil outside the fourth floor window and use a screwdriver to unfasten the screws holding the secret brick in place on the opposite side of the wall, but the screwdriver must be a specific type like the one I own, since if any other screwdriver comes into contact with the screws, the entire building will explode, as will a seperate charge placed inside the boron alloy container, rendering the USB useless. Even once the container is retrieved, attemping to open it without the arming pin in place (which is kept inside the battery compartment of my Maglite) will cause the water reservoirs lining the container to burst and react with the caesium lining, causing the container to burst into flames - the only way to prevent this is to use the arming pins to shut off the reservoirs with a sliding steel door. The USB itself contains an accelerometer linked to an explosive charge, meaning that if the USB detects its own movement speed as being greater than 5 cm/s, it will explode - any person attempting to steal it would have to move at a uselessly slow speed. Once plugged into a computer, the USB will upload a ghost virus onto it, leaving no traces. Only the right password can deactivate this virus, and if it is left on the computer for more than six hours, it will format all drives.
As you can see, I take my N playing very seriously.
Guiseppi- I'd much rather watch animals get boned in the ass.
Yanni- If it's glad, it's not rape.
Tsukatu- I refuse to use throw-away bags for such a frequent purpose as buying groceries. Instead, I've collected the hair of my two pet dogs and have woven them together into an all-natural, 100% environmentally friendly bag that I bring with me everywhere. And when I buy products that come in glass and plastic containers, I track down the company that packages them and ship back their containers so that they don't take up space in landfills.
Yeah, I use plastic.
Tsukatu- I hear Ebony Online is great, too. Cum save your princess, my lord!
Ska- UR MUM LIKE IS SPICY
Ska- why d i get the feeling what i typed will end up in the quote depository; or worse: someone's sig.
KinGAleX- I did it on the couch a little while ago.
Zeph- I got too pissed at the knife in the end so I just broke the wood on my knee
[13:50:29] |<-- Zeph has left irc.mountai.net (Quit: Zeph)
[13:50:53] <Zeph> omfg 1950s jazz 
[13:50:57] <WorldCupE> ZEPH
[13:51:01] <WorldCupE> WHAT
[13:51:11] <WorldCupE> hpw
[13:51:12] <WorldCupE> how
[13:51:12] <Zeph> everyone wears out halfway through the match
[13:51:15] <WorldCupE> ._.
[13:51:17] <WorldCupE> you
[13:51:19] <WorldCupE> aren't
[13:51:20] <WorldCupE> here
[13:51:24] <WorldCupikaze> I think the broadcasters lowered the volume for certain frequencies
[13:51:35] <WorldCupikaze> WOAH
[13:51:38] <WorldCupikaze> STOP IT ZEPH
[13:51:46] <WorldCupE> he's in #n
[13:51:49] <WorldCupE> but not here
[13:51:58] <Zeph> that nz guy wasn't fouled
[13:52:05] <WorldCupikaze> DUBBLE YOO. TEE. EFF.
[13:52:05] <WorldCupikaze> STOPIT
[13:52:29] <WorldCupE> I don't think Zeph can read what we say
[13:52:38] <WorldCupikaze> No
[13:52:41] <WorldCupikaze> But it still happens
[13:52:46] <WorldCupE> xD
[13:52:47] <Zeph> holy shot I'm vibrating to 1950s relaxing jazz
[13:52:58] <WorldCupE> ZEPH
[13:53:01] <WorldCupE> CAN YOYU HEAR ME
[13:53:20] <WorldCupE> donfuy
[13:53:23] <WorldCupE> have you seen this
[13:53:35] <Donfuy> i can't
[13:53:43] <WorldCupE> can't what
[13:53:47] <WorldCupE> Zeph isn't here
[13:53:48] <WorldCupikaze> WHAT's GOING ON
[13:53:51] <WorldCupE> but is speaking
[13:53:51] <WorldCupE> D:
[13:53:58] <Donfuy> can't see what huh?
[13:54:06] <WorldCupikaze> IT'S THE APOCALYPSE
[13:54:10] <Donfuy> where's zeph o_o
[13:54:18] <WorldCupE> precisely
[13:54:21] <WorldCupikaze> Exactly
[13:55:21] <WorldCupikaze> call wide
[13:55:24] <Zeph> Pooh
[13:55:28] <WorldCupikaze> EH?
[13:55:37] <WorldCupikaze> OOOOOOOOoh
[13:55:38] <Zeph> amazing slide tackle saves day
[13:55:48] <WorldCupikaze> WHY ARE YOU TALKING YOU AREN'T HERE
[13:56:53] <WorldCupikaze> call wide
[13:57:02] -->| Zeph ([email protected]) has joined #Worldcup
[13:32:33] |<-- Zeph has left irc.mountai.net (Quit: Zeph)
[13:32:43] <WorldCupE> ZEPH D:<
[13:32:44] <Zeph> fucking irc app
[13:32:47] <WorldCupE> O_O
[13:32:50] -->| Zeph ([email protected]) has joined #Worldcup
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- Not So Awesome Blossom
- Posts: 2529
- Joined: 2008.09.26 (21:28)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
- Steam: www.steamcommunity.com/id/
- Location: USA
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- Didn't get a name change in the middle of the TF2 thread.
- Posts: 514
- Joined: 2008.09.28 (04:50)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/heatwave21
- MBTI Type: INFJ
- Location: Visconsin
- Contact:
Part of this community since 2007. — Play Subvein
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- Cross-Galactic Train Conducter
- Posts: 2354
- Joined: 2008.09.27 (00:31)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/T3chno
- MBTI Type: ENTJ
- Location: foam hands
- Contact:
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- dreams slip through our fingers like hott slut sexxx
- Posts: 3896
- Joined: 2009.01.14 (15:41)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/Tunco123
- MBTI Type: INTJ
- Location: Istanbul
"Congratz! You're the 1,000,000,000,000th person who visited this page! You just won 1 million dollars!"
Bullshit. :P
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- Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir
- Posts: 1561
- Joined: 2008.09.26 (12:33)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/incluye
- MBTI Type: ENTP
- Location: USofA
- Contact:
I swear to God I get an email from my school every week addressed to FILE_NOT_FOUND.heatwave wrote:I got this from a college. It's not a scam, but it's a pretty awesome fail.
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- Global Mod
- Posts: 1596
- Joined: 2008.09.26 (13:10)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/gloomp
- MBTI Type: INTP
- Location: Troy, New York
- Contact:
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- Diagnosis Mohawk: Bahrain Cock Theory
- Posts: 1405
- Joined: 2008.09.23 (13:25)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/spawn_of_yanni
- MBTI Type: ENFJ
- Location: Pittsburgh
/1271209220_12_FT38614_steven_seagull.jpgxVxCrushloaderusSupremusxVx wrote:
Steven Seagull. Amazing. Amazing.
feline disrespect from behind
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- Moderator
- Posts: 1318
- Joined: 2008.12.04 (01:16)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/maxson924
- Location: Tampa
- Contact:
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- Remembering Hoxygen
- Posts: 969
- Joined: 2008.09.27 (21:40)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/
- MBTI Type: INFP
- Location: SoCal
- Contact:
"How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign'd" ~ Alexander Pope
"Boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars" ~ Hugh Laurie
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- Unsavory Conquistador of the Western Front
- Posts: 1568
- Joined: 2008.09.26 (05:54)
- NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/origami_alligator
- MBTI Type: ENTP
- Location: Portland, Oregon
you're gonna love my nuts
"Listening intently, the thoughts linger ever vibrant. Imagine knowledge intertwined, nostalgiacally guiding/embracing."
<Kaglaxyclax> >>> southpaw has earned the achievement "Heartbreaker".
Promoted to the rank of Ultimate Four by LittleViking
[15:34] <Brttrx> ADDICTION IS GOOD, MR BAD INFLUENCE
[20:05] <southpaw> 8:05pm, Wednesday, 29 April, 2009, southpaw completed N.
[22:49] <makinero> is it orange-orange-gold yellow gold silverthread forest urban chic orange-gold?
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- On the Psychic Highway
- Posts: 290
- Joined: 2009.11.16 (05:05)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/script
- MBTI Type: INTJ
- Location: On a boat
<Uuni> i dont see the escape in religion
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- Global Mod
- Posts: 792
- Joined: 2008.09.28 (18:32)
- NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/Yahoozy
- MBTI Type: INFP
- Contact:
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- RoboBarber
- Posts: 367
- Joined: 2008.09.30 (21:43)
- NUMA Profile: Legions of http://nmaps.net/user/Onesevennine
- MBTI Type: INFP
- Location: Texas'); DROP TABLE Members;--
"Whosoever dies with his art on the most hard drives, wins." - Michael W. Dean'
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- The Konami Number
- Posts: 573
- Joined: 2008.09.29 (22:27)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/_destiny%5E%2D
- MBTI Type: ISTJ
- Location: UK
Oh... My... God.Manus Australis wrote:I guess not online, but I woke up to this actually being aired on television a couple nights ago at 2:30am or something in the middle of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Why they aired it is beyond me, but not only was it the best thing to wake up to that early but I felt like buying 3 Slap Chops if the phone were within reaching distance.
you're gonna love my nuts
I've never wanted something that i would never use so much in my entire life.
On a more relevant note, the greatest advert ever created has got to be for John West Salmon
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- Unsavory Conquistador of the Western Front
- Posts: 1568
- Joined: 2008.09.26 (05:54)
- NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/origami_alligator
- MBTI Type: ENTP
- Location: Portland, Oregon
I have been thinking the exact same thing for the last 2 days straight.Destiny wrote:Oh... My... God.Manus Australis wrote:you're gonna love my nuts
I've never wanted something that i would never use so much in my entire life.
"Listening intently, the thoughts linger ever vibrant. Imagine knowledge intertwined, nostalgiacally guiding/embracing."
<Kaglaxyclax> >>> southpaw has earned the achievement "Heartbreaker".
Promoted to the rank of Ultimate Four by LittleViking
[15:34] <Brttrx> ADDICTION IS GOOD, MR BAD INFLUENCE
[20:05] <southpaw> 8:05pm, Wednesday, 29 April, 2009, southpaw completed N.
[22:49] <makinero> is it orange-orange-gold yellow gold silverthread forest urban chic orange-gold?
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- Global Mod
- Posts: 1416
- Joined: 2008.09.26 (05:35)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/scythe33
- MBTI Type: ENTP
- Location: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
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- Unsavory Conquistador of the Western Front
- Posts: 1568
- Joined: 2008.09.26 (05:54)
- NUMA Profile: http://www.nmaps.net/user/origami_alligator
- MBTI Type: ENTP
- Location: Portland, Oregon
Not hilarious at first, but the first three things I thought of when I saw this were:
1. Convince yourself he was a vampire.
2. Convince yourself that his family are vampires too and that all of them are at war with some werewolves.
3. Had his baby.
"Listening intently, the thoughts linger ever vibrant. Imagine knowledge intertwined, nostalgiacally guiding/embracing."
<Kaglaxyclax> >>> southpaw has earned the achievement "Heartbreaker".
Promoted to the rank of Ultimate Four by LittleViking
[15:34] <Brttrx> ADDICTION IS GOOD, MR BAD INFLUENCE
[20:05] <southpaw> 8:05pm, Wednesday, 29 April, 2009, southpaw completed N.
[22:49] <makinero> is it orange-orange-gold yellow gold silverthread forest urban chic orange-gold?
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- Demon Fisherman
- Posts: 1246
- Joined: 2008.10.01 (23:37)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/squibbles
- MBTI Type: ENFP
- Location: Canberra
You know, the more I look at this, the more I'm convinced that it isn't photoshopped. It's probably the statistic at the bottom which is making me think those lines, but I swear to god that it's 2 birds and a dude, presumably called Steven.xVxCrushloaderusSupremusxVx wrote:
[/ispoiler]Tsukatu wrote:I don't know what it is, squibbles, but my brain keeps inserting "black" into random parts of your posts these days.
I totally just read that as, "I'd hate to be the only black guy stuck using v1.4."
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- Yet Another Harshad
- Posts: 471
- Joined: 2008.10.24 (09:39)
- NUMA Profile: http://nmaps.net/user/z3phyr
- MBTI Type: ISTP
- Location: Australia
Isn't that some gun?Manus Australis wrote:I have been thinking the exact same thing for the last 2 days straight.Destiny wrote:Oh... My... God.Manus Australis wrote:you're gonna love my nuts
I've never wanted something that i would never use so much in my entire life.
Orange- N cannot be spoken, or even thought about in my household. If my parents ever found out that I have played N since the cleansing, my life would be ruined. I keep the game in a multi-passworded .rar on a USB flash drive inside a locked boron alloy container that requires two keys to open (I keep one under the 64th hammer in my piano, and the other one in a small section of removable ceiling in the corner of the attic) hidden in a wall compartment lined with aluminium foil to prevent sonar detection behind my 375 kg cupboard, which is bolted to the floor - the only way to reach it is to abseil outside the fourth floor window and use a screwdriver to unfasten the screws holding the secret brick in place on the opposite side of the wall, but the screwdriver must be a specific type like the one I own, since if any other screwdriver comes into contact with the screws, the entire building will explode, as will a seperate charge placed inside the boron alloy container, rendering the USB useless. Even once the container is retrieved, attemping to open it without the arming pin in place (which is kept inside the battery compartment of my Maglite) will cause the water reservoirs lining the container to burst and react with the caesium lining, causing the container to burst into flames - the only way to prevent this is to use the arming pins to shut off the reservoirs with a sliding steel door. The USB itself contains an accelerometer linked to an explosive charge, meaning that if the USB detects its own movement speed as being greater than 5 cm/s, it will explode - any person attempting to steal it would have to move at a uselessly slow speed. Once plugged into a computer, the USB will upload a ghost virus onto it, leaving no traces. Only the right password can deactivate this virus, and if it is left on the computer for more than six hours, it will format all drives.
As you can see, I take my N playing very seriously.
Guiseppi- I'd much rather watch animals get boned in the ass.
Yanni- If it's glad, it's not rape.
Tsukatu- I refuse to use throw-away bags for such a frequent purpose as buying groceries. Instead, I've collected the hair of my two pet dogs and have woven them together into an all-natural, 100% environmentally friendly bag that I bring with me everywhere. And when I buy products that come in glass and plastic containers, I track down the company that packages them and ship back their containers so that they don't take up space in landfills.
Yeah, I use plastic.
Tsukatu- I hear Ebony Online is great, too. Cum save your princess, my lord!
Ska- UR MUM LIKE IS SPICY
Ska- why d i get the feeling what i typed will end up in the quote depository; or worse: someone's sig.
KinGAleX- I did it on the couch a little while ago.
Zeph- I got too pissed at the knife in the end so I just broke the wood on my knee
[13:50:29] |<-- Zeph has left irc.mountai.net (Quit: Zeph)
[13:50:53] <Zeph> omfg 1950s jazz
[13:50:57] <WorldCupE> ZEPH
[13:51:01] <WorldCupE> WHAT
[13:51:11] <WorldCupE> hpw
[13:51:12] <WorldCupE> how
[13:51:12] <Zeph> everyone wears out halfway through the match
[13:51:15] <WorldCupE> ._.
[13:51:17] <WorldCupE> you
[13:51:19] <WorldCupE> aren't
[13:51:20] <WorldCupE> here
[13:51:24] <WorldCupikaze> I think the broadcasters lowered the volume for certain frequencies
[13:51:35] <WorldCupikaze> WOAH
[13:51:38] <WorldCupikaze> STOP IT ZEPH
[13:51:46] <WorldCupE> he's in #n
[13:51:49] <WorldCupE> but not here
[13:51:58] <Zeph> that nz guy wasn't fouled
[13:52:05] <WorldCupikaze> DUBBLE YOO. TEE. EFF.
[13:52:05] <WorldCupikaze> STOPIT
[13:52:29] <WorldCupE> I don't think Zeph can read what we say
[13:52:38] <WorldCupikaze> No
[13:52:41] <WorldCupikaze> But it still happens
[13:52:46] <WorldCupE> xD
[13:52:47] <Zeph> holy shot I'm vibrating to 1950s relaxing jazz
[13:52:58] <WorldCupE> ZEPH
[13:53:01] <WorldCupE> CAN YOYU HEAR ME
[13:53:20] <WorldCupE> donfuy
[13:53:23] <WorldCupE> have you seen this
[13:53:35] <Donfuy> i can't
[13:53:43] <WorldCupE> can't what
[13:53:47] <WorldCupE> Zeph isn't here
[13:53:48] <WorldCupikaze> WHAT's GOING ON
[13:53:51] <WorldCupE> but is speaking
[13:53:51] <WorldCupE> D:
[13:53:58] <Donfuy> can't see what huh?
[13:54:06] <WorldCupikaze> IT'S THE APOCALYPSE
[13:54:10] <Donfuy> where's zeph o_o
[13:54:18] <WorldCupE> precisely
[13:54:21] <WorldCupikaze> Exactly
[13:55:21] <WorldCupikaze> call wide
[13:55:24] <Zeph> Pooh
[13:55:28] <WorldCupikaze> EH?
[13:55:37] <WorldCupikaze> OOOOOOOOoh
[13:55:38] <Zeph> amazing slide tackle saves day
[13:55:48] <WorldCupikaze> WHY ARE YOU TALKING YOU AREN'T HERE
[13:56:53] <WorldCupikaze> call wide
[13:57:02] -->| Zeph ([email protected]) has joined #Worldcup
[13:32:33] |<-- Zeph has left irc.mountai.net (Quit: Zeph)
[13:32:43] <WorldCupE> ZEPH D:<
[13:32:44] <Zeph> fucking irc app
[13:32:47] <WorldCupE> O_O
[13:32:50] -->| Zeph ([email protected]) has joined #Worldcup
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