About Ikea

[blue_tetris]

I'm truly sorry if IKEA is more postmodern than you, 999_Springs.

I don't like to sleep on postmodern. I like to sleep on comfortable. I like to set my computer on practical. I like to eat my food off of correctly shaped. IKEA is nonsense.

[999_Springs]

999_Springs, I'm severely tempted to rant at you right now for your staggering close-mindedness.

Very well, I'm sorry if I have offended any of you about your opinions. The point I was making was that Ikea sometimes puts forward attractiveness/art at too much of an expense of practical use. I appreciate that some of you would value attractiveness more highly than I do, but I fail to understand why Ikea's ideas would become successful.

For example, take their circular beds. Now the thing is that it would seem very awkward indeed to try to get a circular bed to fit into your room without leaving behind one or two somewhat unsightly corners of unused space. You also run the risk of ruining a good night's sleep in a strangely shaped bed. Now get this: Ikea's circular beds are more than five times more expensive than a decent (by Ikea's standards) bed, and ten times more expensive than their cheapest beds. Now, if you can afford to spend over five hundred pounds on a circular bed, then why not use that money on a much more comfortable rectangular bed of the same price from another store? Perhaps it might look less artistic, but you still need to value the comfort of your sleep, which is something you have to consider when trying to buy an Ikea circular bed.

I don't like to sleep on postmodern. I like to sleep on comfortable.

That sums up my point entirely.

Now for their flat lightbulbs. I don't have one myself, but I have been thinking about how they might/might not work. Now there is a reason why normal lightbulbs are spherical, and that the light source is at the centre of the lightbulb. The cross-section of a spherical lightbulb is a circle, and since the tangent to the circumference is perpendicular to the radius, the light coming from the lightbulb hits the glass and leaves it directly, so it spreads around the room in the most direct way. Now in the flat lightbulbs, the light coming out from the source doesn't meet most of the glass/plastic directly but at a very small angle, as you can tell from the shape. Now light which meets the glass/air boundary at an angle close to the surface undergoes Total Internal Reflection, where the light cannot leave the glass/plastic but is reflected back into the glass/plastic. In other words, the light does not light up the room, but only lights up two sectors of the room each at an angle of between 80 and 100 degrees. At best, this would cause some really, really weird shadows. The problem isn't solved by putting them on the wall either. And anyway, even for decorative purposes I don't see how it would be worth it to cause strange shadows and waste electricity when using one normal spherical bulb would do (even if it costs 10p, like the ones I have at my house).

In all seriousness, could some of the artistic types among you show me how such ideas from Ikea would work in terms of practical use?

Blue_tetris: I completely agree with all that you've said. I couldn't have put it more succinctly myself.

[T3chno]

You realize that you don't have to go there. I really like IKEA, as my mattress, my bed frame, pillows, and my desk are from there. They're haven't broken yet, nor are the chipped off in any place. They're great quality. And shit, dude, they got these badass Swedish names too.

[Skyling]

I don't like to sleep on postmodern. I like to sleep on comfortable.

Can postmodern be both postmodern and comfortable? Are those concepts polar opposites? Nay, says I.

I mean, yea for the first and nay for the second.

[wedgie]

My (parents) house has never seen a single piece of IKEA furniture. I'm not even sure if my parents have even been there before.
I went to IKEA for the first time in my life around the start of the year to get some furniture for my new place and I was amazed by it all. It's full to the brim with style and all for such good prices. My only regret is that I didn't discover IKEA sooner.

[Atilla]

I don't like to sleep on postmodern. I like to sleep on comfortable. I like to set my computer on practical. I like to eat my food off of correctly shaped. IKEA is nonsense.

Pah! Your desire for "comfort" and "practicality" is merely a reflection of your blind acceptance of neo-patriarchal ideals codified by the capitalist architecture to appeal to a conflux of subliminal biases constructed as a result of race/gender identity interactions.

[Ad]

...Am I the only one here that has actually taken a shit in an Ikea display?

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

...Am I the only one here that has actually taken a shit in an Ikea display?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say "probably."

[T3chno]

...Am I the only one here that has actually taken a shit in an Ikea display?

Duuuude, they're bathrooms are postmodern too!

[bobaganuesh_2]

Okay, so the municipal government in my city has already begun its plans to build an Ikea. Right now they're at the stage where the contruction company is clearing an area along one of the highways by digging up the dirt and pouring the foundation, or something.

Now I've never been inside an Ikea, so I don't know what to expect. This new building is supposed to be huge and take up a lot of land -- it's across the field from a cement plant -- and I'm starting to feel apprehensive about whether in the end it'll be all for nought and a huge waste of time, energy, space, and my attention span. This thread, since I began reading it not moments ago, has since given me debillitating anxiety attacks. I can no longer exert myself to look at the colours yellow and blue when they are placed adjacent to each other without experiencing an incredible woe. As a result I have become a cynical and cold person, and shall never look upon another retail outlet with admiration again! The darkness in my heart can only be satiated by reading Charles Dickens and writing meandering forums posts that vaguely infer the likeness of his characters.

So I am imploring you, the virtuous 999_Springs, to advise me on what course of action I should pursue. Should I protest against the construction of the Ikea? Should I carpet bomb the general area? What? I am seriously at a loss right now.


Signed,
Robert A. Ganush II

[otters~1]

As a result I have become a cynical and cold person, and shall never look upon another retail outlet with admiration again!

Good.

The darkness in my heart can only be satiated by reading Charles Dickens and writing meandering forums posts that vaguely infer the likeness of his characters.

What are you talking about? Are you trying to be Micawber? Stop :/

Should I protest against the construction of the Ikea?

Yes.

[Donfuy]

Fuck you. IKEA is awesome. It has good quality furniture with a good price.

[bobaganuesh_2]

The darkness in my heart can only be satiated by reading Charles Dickens and writing meandering forums posts that vaguely infer the likeness of his characters.

What are you talking about? Are you trying to be Micawber? Stop :/

haha, I don't know who that is. It's a Great Expectations allusion, if anything.

Fuck you. IKEA is awesome. It has good quality furniture with a good price.

I wouldn't know that. That's why I'm asking where my preemptive actions and opinions should be leaning towards. Unless you're talking to flag.

yeesh guys, lighten up. This was meant to be a goofy post in response to the other, mostly equally goofy posts in this goofy thread.

[Zephyr]

Ikea's sausages are hard

Ahahahahhahaaha

I'm sitting in an Ikea chair right now, it's really damn slippery :/

[capt_weasle]

Should I protest against the construction of the Ikea?

Yes.

But then where is he going to get 200 Swedish meatballs for three bucks? I mean that's hard to beat!

[scythe]

Should I protest against the construction of the Ikea?

I don't think they're actually going to build it, they'll just set a box of parts in an empty lot.

[smartalco]

Should I protest against the construction of the Ikea?

I don't think they're actually going to build it, they'll just set a box of parts in an empty lot.

http://instantrimshot.com/

[999_Springs]

Okay, so the municipal government in my city has already begun its plans to build an Ikea. Right now they're at the stage where the contruction company is clearing an area along one of the highways by digging up the dirt and pouring the foundation, or something.

Now I've never been inside an Ikea, so I don't know what to expect. This new building is supposed to be huge and take up a lot of land -- it's across the field from a cement plant -- and I'm starting to feel apprehensive about whether in the end it'll be all for nought and a huge waste of time, energy, space, and my attention span. This thread, since I began reading it not moments ago, has since given me debillitating anxiety attacks. I can no longer exert myself to look at the colours yellow and blue when they are placed adjacent to each other without experiencing an incredible woe. As a result I have become a cynical and cold person, and shall never look upon another retail outlet with admiration again! The darkness in my heart can only be satiated by reading Charles Dickens and writing meandering forums posts that vaguely infer the likeness of his characters.

So I am imploring you, the virtuous 999_Springs, to advise me on what course of action I should pursue. Should I protest against the construction of the Ikea? Should I carpet bomb the general area? What? I am seriously at a loss right now.


Signed,
Robert A. Ganush II

Secretly put loads of trapdoors in the relevant area. If by some inexplicable reason the construction manages to continue to completion, then when the store opens anyone foolish enough to enter it and blindly follow the arrows printed on the ground will surely meet the inevitable fate that they certainly deserve.

[otters]

...Am I the only one here that has actually taken a shit in an Ikea display?

Duuuude, they're bathrooms are postmodern too!

their!

[Kablizzy]

Signed,
Robert A. Ganush II

I hope to *FUCKING GOD* your actual name is Robert A. Ganush.

[Heartattack]

...Am I the only one here that has actually taken a shit in an Ikea display?

Duuuude, they're bathrooms are postmodern too!

their!

That's postmodern grammar.

[bobaganuesh_2]

Signed,
Robert A. Ganush II

I hope to *FUCKING GOD* your actual name is Robert A. Ganush.

If I ever become a spy, that'll be my alias.