Parenting (article)

[999_Springs]

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142 ... 98754.html

One of my teachers showed me this. Thought-provoking, funny and disturbing at the same time.

Discuss.

[Tanner]

C++? Why you no learn A++? You Asian, not C-sian!

[Vyacheslav]

[Pheidippides]

To make a serious reply, I feel like I was raised somewhere between the two extremes discussed in the essay - my childhood came with a lot of limits that my peers did not share, but there was still that sense of "do your best." However, doing poorly still had definite consequences; my parents have never been afraid to get mad at me. Still, they tolerated a B- in physics my freshman year of college. I guess that kinda illustrates my point.

I feel like it would be hard for a Western parent to go all-out with parenting, though, because Western kids have different expectations concerning their parents. The kids that break down under "pressure" probably do so because they've grown to expect more lenient treatment. Everybody's supposed to be happy! Always!

I really liked the essayist's line about how something is never fun until you're good at it, and how you're usually not good at it until you work at it for a long time. Not everyone seems to understand that.

[otters~1]

Wow ... my first thought was that you had impregnated someone and gotten yourself into a situation you needed some advice about. My second thought was, "Why are asking Metanet?"

[sidke]

Wow ... my first thought was that you had impregnated someone and gotten yourself into a situation you needed some advice about. My second thought was, "Why are asking Metanet?"

me too, flag... me too...

[scythe]

My friends sell drugs to kids like these, to replace the void in their lives caused by the lack of a social life.

My roommate was raised by parents like this, and now spends his time not understanding the advanced calculus required to succeed in every single major here, because, lo and behold, he can't survive without someone hovering over him every second of the day telling him what to do. Admissions departments at major universities are getting better at detecting kids like these -- and rejecting them, because their total lack of a life makes them entirely unprepared for college. Worse yet, some are actually talented and might have achieved something if they weren't so socially awkward they're scared to attend classes.

[otters~1]

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences.

I was reading through the article, and when I hit this paragraph I noticed two blatant assumptions, both of which are incorrect. Maybe this woman's parents should have drilled journalistic writing into her a bit more.

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

This is also more or less bullshit. Who the fuck is this woman?

I know a lot of kids with parents like this. They're all Asian. One of them tried to commit suicide in 7th grade. The rest have 8 pm curfews. The other kids I hang out with acknowledge that the Asian kids are downright fucked when they go off to college, because they can't deal with stress, they get homesick too easily, they've never had any life experience at all and, as scythe said, they're externally, not internally, driven.

...can you imagine never doing /anything/ by choice in your entire life?

[Amadeus]

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it

This isn't at all true. I'm terrible at guitar, but it's still fun to play. Sure, a decent level of competency is probably needed to enjoy something, but that doesn't involve practicing six hours a day while your parents smash empty bottles of Tsingtao on your skull. As a swimmer too, I see so many kids peak at 14 years old and burn out from over-training. They end up hating the sport and wasting the majority of their childhoodyears.

[Pheidippides]

I dunno, I was pretty shitty at soccer as a kid and did not enjoy it at all. I enjoyed baseball more because I was at least mediocre. I enjoy running even more because I'm actually competent at it. Amadeus, I imagine you're at least smarter than the average bear when it comes to guitar. I, for example, have no guitar experience whatsoever. Therefore, you probably enjoy playing guitar more than I do. If you were even more skilled, you might enjoy it even more because you could... uh... totally shred, or whatever you kids call it. ;)

I've found that the harder I work at something and the better I get at it, the more rewarding and enjoyable it becomes. I think that's more the point she was trying to convey, as opposed to asserting that you can't possibly enjoy something you're not good at.

[乳头的早餐谷物]

I dunno, I was pretty shitty at soccer as a kid and did not enjoy it at all. I enjoyed baseball more because I was at least mediocre. I enjoy running even more because I'm actually competent at it. Amadeus, I imagine you're at least smarter than the average bear when it comes to guitar. I, for example, have no guitar experience whatsoever. Therefore, you probably enjoy playing guitar more than I do. If you were even more skilled, you might enjoy it even more because you could... uh... totally shred, or whatever you kids call it. ;)

I've found that the harder I work at something and the better I get at it, the more rewarding and enjoyable it becomes. I think that's more the point she was trying to convey, as opposed to asserting that you can't possibly enjoy something you're not good at.

For sure, but in the context of the article it's totally the wrong thing.

There are number of unconvincing justifications in the article, but the fun argument is the worst. You can't seriously argue that the children are going to have more or anywhere near as much fun being forced to play the piano or violin as they might by choosing their own hobbies (or even choosing their own instruments, I mean seriously, what).

[scythe]

At least it's not the cello.

[Sunset]

You drop F-bomb in school? Why you no drop A-bomb -- nevermind...