Stalking 101: How to not talk to girls

[Tanner]

"You can't get every girl, you get the ones you love the best." - Craig Finn

[Zephyr]

He comes to school today and excitedly tells me that she told him last night she really liked him.

I think I'll just give up D:

[Vyacheslav]

He comes to school today and excitedly tells me that she told him last night she really liked him.

I think I'll just give up D:

You guys can still be friends though.

[im_bad_at_n]

I'm in a bit of trouble :/

First off, to tell you guys how important this is over the rest of the message, I asked a girl that I have liked for a few weeks out and she said yes. This was last Thursday and I am really excited because it is my first. :D

So backing up a bit, before I really had feelings for the girl, my senior prom was approaching and a bunch of seniors were asking each other to the dance (I am a senior). One of the girls in my year (I'll call her K) that has been a decently good friend decided to let a friend of hers ask if I wanted to go with K. She said that she HAS to have an escort to prom because her parents are strict mormons and they also do not want to pay for her to go without a date.

First off, with others influencing me, I said no. I haven't come to regret that choice. She wanted to go just as friends, but I know her and she would be unable to do that much less the parents accepting that we are "just friends". I never felt that way for her, so I said no because I felt that if I said yes, it would disappoint her and that would weigh heavily on me, regardless of no t liking her /that/ way. However since I said no, it showed that I did not like her and that has weighed on my conscious as well and its annoying because either option would have negative consequences.

Back to the other girl, the one I like. Prom is this Saturday and since I asked her only last Thursday, I feel that Prom would be a too big of a step to take her on many levels. She is a sophomore while I'm a senior so that would be awkward at the dance full of seniors. Also its only been a week so it is going too far I think to go. Plus it would require a lot of planning and stuff within the next three days to make it a good night and it would be a nightmare for the next few days..

However all the rest of the seniors, the ones that do not know about the issues with K above (that happened about 3-4 weeks ago) are starting to bother me. They want me to go to prom since I've told them Monday that I was not. Worse still, they want me to take K to prom too since she is unable to go yet wants too. They've all been trying to get me to go, even my chem teacher is bribing me saying that he will pay for dinner, the tux, everything. I've turned it all down, it would be unfair to everyone involved. The rest of the seniors do not know about me and the girl I like, we haven't told anyone yet. Only a few friends might guess accurately that I'm already dating the sophomore and a few others too. The friends that were at the lunch where I was originally asked by K's friend also have not been bothering me.

I'm confused as to what to do. I hope that by using this thread I can get some idea as to what to do, because I have no clue what is the right direction to take. Thanks for reading this far if you have...

[smartalco]

Do what I did during my senior prom night. Play Risk in your basement with your fellow nerd friends!

[Vyacheslav]

Or do what I did and work on a painting instead. :)
Prom is overrated anyways. Too much hype and drama.

[Destiny]

I actually found my prom was pretty fun, and I think I would have regretted not going.

I would take K to the prom, it sounds like she knows it's a friends thing anyway, so just leave it at that. Explain the situation to your girlfriend first, i'm sure she'll understand. Hell, it's not like you have to hold hands all night, is it?

[Pheidippides]

Going to prom as friends can be a great experience if you've got the right friend. For example, I hadn't spoken to a particular friend of mine in a pretty long time, and upon hearing that my original date canceled, she was more than happy to go with me. She and some of my other friends came back to my house afterward, and we had desserts and hung out on the porch. It was a solid evening, and we still keep in touch.

So going as friends wouldn't be a bad move if you could do it right.

As for your other option, prom isn't as huge as you think, in my opinion. Like Pavs said, it's just a lot of hype. It's more about getting together with your classmates as a last hoorah before graduation than about you and your date. I'd wager you're not the only one that would be bringing an underclassperson to the dance, anyway, so it shouldn't be /that/ awkward. Either way, you'd just need to try a bit to keep her in the conversations. You guys were all sophomores once; reminisce! You go to the same high school, I'm assuming, so there should be plenty of things to talk about: classes/teachers you liked, classes/teachers you hated, extracirriculars, and various other stuff that may or may not be school-related at all. One problem, though - four days' notice is extremely short. Picking out a tux may take an hour, tops, but girls make Facebook groups to discuss their prom dresses with their friends. Good luck with that.

I'd really advise against missing the thing entirely, though. My nerdy friends and I all pressured each other into going, and it was definitely worth it.

Then again, I doubt I'm the one to ask about these things, so you might wanna take this with a grain of salt.

[im_bad_at_n]

Thanks for your opinions people, I will take them into account on what I will choose.

[Kablizzy]

But I guess I don't really have a chance considering her father would probably chop my head off.

Pfft. My ex mother-in-law-to-be tried to kill me on a number of occasions, and tried to stab my ex once or twice. They made multiple death threats, and even threatened to call out a mob hit on me. Go for it. No one's as batshit as she was.

[otters~1]

So backing up a bit, before I really had feelings for the girl, my senior prom was approaching and a bunch of seniors were asking each other to the dance (I am a senior). One of the girls in my year (I'll call her K) that has been a decently good friend decided to let a friend of hers ask if I wanted to go with K. She said that she HAS to have an escort to prom because her parents are strict mormons and they also do not want to pay for her to go without a date.

Did anyone else...?

Not a good free association.

[im_bad_at_n]

So backing up a bit, before I really had feelings for the girl, my senior prom was approaching and a bunch of seniors were asking each other to the dance (I am a senior). One of the girls in my year (I'll call her K) that has been a decently good friend decided to let a friend of hers ask if I wanted to go with K. She said that she HAS to have an escort to prom because her parents are strict mormons and they also do not want to pay for her to go without a date.

Did anyone else...?

Not a good free association.

Sorry, no reference or allusions intended. K is just the first letter of her name :/

[capt_weasle]

Girlfriend broke up with me. Ten hour shifts at a terrible job four days in a row. My cat escaped and is now missing. What the fuck.

[Destiny]

Girlfriend broke up with me. Ten hour shifts at a terrible job four days in a row. My cat escaped and is now missing. What the fuck.

Your cat... escaped?

You mean, you don't normally let it outside?

[capt_weasle]

Girlfriend broke up with me. Ten hour shifts at a terrible job four days in a row. My cat escaped and is now missing. What the fuck.

Your cat... escaped?

You mean, you don't normally let it outside?

He is strictly an indoor cat, he wouldn't be able to last long outside. Though he actually came home at like 2 am today all is well.

[Donfuy]

Good to know your cat's fine.

I feel lonely, even though I have lots of good friends. I feel tired, even though I've been sleeping well and haven't worked much. I feel bad, even though I should feel good. I feel like I'm obsessed with the idea of having a girlfriend, like there was nothing else to think about. And I feel like I am nothing. Not sure about what I want to do in life. But goddamn I wanna do something.

So tired and frustrated. And I dunno why.


edit: all i wanna do is sleep and skip some days

[Aldaric]

Good to know your cat's fine.

I feel lonely, even though I have lots of good friends. I feel tired, even though I've been sleeping well and haven't worked much. I feel bad, even though I should feel good. I feel like I'm obsessed with the idea of having a girlfriend, like there was nothing else to think about. And I feel like I am nothing. Not sure about what I want to do in life. But goddamn I wanna do something.

So tired and frustrated. And I dunno why.


edit: all i wanna do is sleep and skip some days

Change your schedule up some. Go eat an ice cream after school. Realize that love is only one road to happiness, and there are a plethora of others to take. At least, thats what I do when I am feeling like what you said.

I am best friends with the older brother of the girl I like. He is super protective, and when a different classmate (was also a friend of his) tried to ask her out he got really angry. Plus, I am not going to be here in Chile for much longer. I have decided to just contain my feelings until I break down and cry some years later. What would you guys do?

[Donfuy]

Realize that love is only one road to happiness, and there are a plethora of others to take.

Show me.

edit: well, if you're not going to be there much longer, what would cost you to just ask her out? Don't be a pussy :3

[Aldaric]

The thing is, I have been friends with this dude for a year now. He has helped me with my Spanish a lot, so we are pretty close. I don't want to betray him and all. Bros before ho's or w/e.

[Scrivener]

Good to know your cat's fine.

I feel lonely, even though I have lots of good friends. I feel tired, even though I've been sleeping well and haven't worked much. I feel bad, even though I should feel good. I feel like I'm obsessed with the idea of having a girlfriend, like there was nothing else to think about. And I feel like I am nothing. Not sure about what I want to do in life. But goddamn I wanna do something.

So tired and frustrated. And I dunno why.


edit: all i wanna do is sleep and skip some days

holy shit, i think you might be an introvert!
!!!!!1

on a more serious note, i feel the same way sometime. i usually just give myself a difficult problem to work on, or a project.

[Spawn of Yanni]

I am best friends with the older brother of the girl I like. He is super protective, and when a different classmate (was also a friend of his) tried to ask her out he got really angry. Plus, I am not going to be here in Chile for much longer. I have decided to just contain my feelings until I break down and cry some years later. What would you guys do?

I went for it. He didn't mind, because he trusted me.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

I am best friends with the older brother of the girl I like. He is super protective, and when a different classmate (was also a friend of his) tried to ask her out he got really angry. Plus, I am not going to be here in Chile for much longer. I have decided to just contain my feelings until I break down and cry some years later. What would you guys do?

I went for it. He didn't mind, because he trusted me.

Heh, when I did this, I walked up to my friend with my arm around his sister, and even though he had previously promised horrendous violence against me if I touched her, his only reaction was a resigned sigh, like he knew it was going to happen eventually.
Even funnier, his sister and I were only seeing how he'd react. We never ended up being more than friends.

[Donfuy]

i usually just give myself a difficult problem to work on, or a project.

Haha that's not going to work with me.

[im_bad_at_n]

i usually just give myself a difficult problem to work on, or a project.

Haha that's not going to work with me.

What I usually do is some solo physical activity, like running or swimming. It helps me out some most of the time.

[Vyacheslav]

Driving around is good too.