Stalking 101: How to not talk to girls

[Lachesis]

So I met this girl, Mary, about a year and a half ago, and I started liking her about a year ago. She comes to my church with a mutual friend, Taylor, but not really that often. So our youth group had this New Years party and she met this guy who only goes to church and stuff because his mom makes him. But anyway, they hit it off, and I kinda act like an idiot in a vain attempt to get her back. It didn't work that well, and even kinda turned her more towards this other guy. Later that night, we play Sardines (reverse Hide and Seek, one person hides and everyone else searches for them), and It's my turn to hide. So I hid in this boiler room. I heard a few people coming, and thinking that it's these two girls that I don't really like, I decide to scare the shit out of them. When they get really close to me, I start hitting the metal vents and death growling, only to realize that it was in fact Mary and the other guy who was hitting on her. That just made me feel horrible, partly because I pretty much got that guy a new girlfriend, but mostly because I had scared her.

Fast forward a few months, Mary and the other guy have broken up, and I hadn't seen her for a while. She commented on my facebook status, and instantly my feelings for her come rushing back. We see each other a few times that weekend, and make plans to do something the next weekend. We end up going to see a movie along with our mutual friend, Taylor. After I got home, I thought for a while about her and realized that I had stopped liking her and started loving her. I reply to a message that Taylor had sent me earlier, and we eventually get to the topic of how I should ask Mary out. After discussing this for a while, I realize that I'm pressing "Reply All" instead of just "Reply". Confused, I look at who else I'm sending it to. In horror, I see that it's Mary. She basically rejects because she's moving down to Kentucky over the summer and doesn't want to start a relationship that way. My heart just sunk because even though I knew she was moving, it never really dawned on me how far away she was gonna be away. So now I'm all confused and angry and just overall depressed. I sent her a letter that basically confessed my love to her. So now I'm waiting for her to call me to find out how she feels, and it's just maddening. I love this girl more than I've loved anyone, even my own family combined, and I don't know what I'll do when she moves or if she got creeped out by my letter.

On another note, my cat keeps pissing on my bed and it's really starting to piss me off.

[Vyacheslav]

Potty train your cat.

Mary has a point in long-distance relationships, especially since both of you are soon-to-be college students. Give it time and you'll eventually move on

[Lachesis]

especially since both of you are soon-to-be college students.

What? I'm 15 and she's 14...

[noops]

I(goddammit spoon stop calling me silly cause I can't get this tired of this word).

Hahaha, what? And yeah, it's all, like, jumbled characters up there. But it is altogether good advice.

On another note, my cat keeps pissing on my bed and it's really starting to piss me off.

No pun intended, right?

[capt_weasle]

Fast forward a few months, Mary and the other guy have broken up, and I hadn't seen her for a while. She commented on my facebook status, and instantly my feelings for her come rushing back. We see each other a few times that weekend, and make plans to do something the next weekend. We end up going to see a movie along with our mutual friend, Taylor. After I got home, I thought for a while about her and realized that I had stopped liking her and started loving her. I reply to a message that Taylor had sent me earlier, and we eventually get to the topic of how I should ask Mary out. After discussing this for a while, I realize that I'm pressing "Reply All" instead of just "Reply". Confused, I look at who else I'm sending it to. In horror, I see that it's Mary. She basically rejects because she's moving down to Kentucky over the summer and doesn't want to start a relationship that way. My heart just sunk because even though I knew she was moving, it never really dawned on me how far away she was gonna be away. So now I'm all confused and angry and just overall depressed. I sent her a letter that basically confessed my love to her. So now I'm waiting for her to call me to find out how she feels, and it's just maddening. I love this girl more than I've loved anyone, even my own family combined, and I don't know what I'll do when she moves or if she got creeped out by my letter.

Dude, you're fifteen. I know you probably won't believe me, and you'll just get pissed off for me saying this, but you don't love her. To say you love someone you've known less than two years - and don't even really hang out with that often - more than you love your own family is coming on too strong. She's moved on, both literally and figuratively. You'll get over it. There are plenty more women to meet in life. Most high school relationships don't even last long and aren't very serious. Shit gets better.

[Tunco]

On another note, my cat keeps pissing on my bed and it's really starting to piss me off.

No pun intended, right?

Haha, what do you think about that?

[Lachesis]

Fast forward a few months, Mary and the other guy have broken up, and I hadn't seen her for a while. She commented on my facebook status, and instantly my feelings for her come rushing back. We see each other a few times that weekend, and make plans to do something the next weekend. We end up going to see a movie along with our mutual friend, Taylor. After I got home, I thought for a while about her and realized that I had stopped liking her and started loving her. I reply to a message that Taylor had sent me earlier, and we eventually get to the topic of how I should ask Mary out. After discussing this for a while, I realize that I'm pressing "Reply All" instead of just "Reply". Confused, I look at who else I'm sending it to. In horror, I see that it's Mary. She basically rejects because she's moving down to Kentucky over the summer and doesn't want to start a relationship that way. My heart just sunk because even though I knew she was moving, it never really dawned on me how far away she was gonna be away. So now I'm all confused and angry and just overall depressed. I sent her a letter that basically confessed my love to her. So now I'm waiting for her to call me to find out how she feels, and it's just maddening. I love this girl more than I've loved anyone, even my own family combined, and I don't know what I'll do when she moves or if she got creeped out by my letter.

Dude, you're fifteen. I know you probably won't believe me, and you'll just get pissed off for me saying this, but you don't love her. To say you love someone you've known less than two years - and don't even really hang out with that often - more than you love your own family is coming on too strong. She's moved on, both literally and figuratively. You'll get over it. There are plenty more women to meet in life. Most high school relationships don't even last long and aren't very serious. Shit gets better.

I am slightly pissed off at you, but it's just, I don't know, the way she makes me feel, it's just incredible, and when she said she was moving away, my heart physically hurt...

I guess I was thinking about my brother and sister when I said family..

[noops]

Fast forward a few months, Mary and the other guy have broken up, and I hadn't seen her for a while. She commented on my facebook status, and instantly my feelings for her come rushing back. We see each other a few times that weekend, and make plans to do something the next weekend. We end up going to see a movie along with our mutual friend, Taylor. After I got home, I thought for a while about her and realized that I had stopped liking her and started loving her. I reply to a message that Taylor had sent me earlier, and we eventually get to the topic of how I should ask Mary out. After discussing this for a while, I realize that I'm pressing "Reply All" instead of just "Reply". Confused, I look at who else I'm sending it to. In horror, I see that it's Mary. She basically rejects because she's moving down to Kentucky over the summer and doesn't want to start a relationship that way. My heart just sunk because even though I knew she was moving, it never really dawned on me how far away she was gonna be away. So now I'm all confused and angry and just overall depressed. I sent her a letter that basically confessed my love to her. So now I'm waiting for her to call me to find out how she feels, and it's just maddening. I love this girl more than I've loved anyone, even my own family combined, and I don't know what I'll do when she moves or if she got creeped out by my letter.

Dude, you're fifteen. I know you probably won't believe me, and you'll just get pissed off for me saying this, but you don't love her. To say you love someone you've known less than two years - and don't even really hang out with that often - more than you love your own family is coming on too strong. She's moved on, both literally and figuratively. You'll get over it. There are plenty more women to meet in life. Most high school relationships don't even last long and aren't very serious. Shit gets better.

I am slightly pissed off at you, but it's just, I don't know, the way she makes me feel, it's just incredible, and when she said she was moving away, my heart physically hurt...

I guess I was thinking about my brother and sister when I said family..

Bahahahaghfghafga, I literally felt this same way a year ago. Guess what? I don't like the girl anymore! Know what else? I'm 15.


I think capt_weasle knows his shit.

[Destiny]

At that age infatuations can get unbearably strong though, I can remember. We mistake it for love, because we've never known anything so powerful, but you don't discover love for a little while longer. Not until you actually get a girlfriend, and form a relationship. I don't just mean any relationship that might last a few months, I mean, a serious one - one that lasts years. You'll know everything there is to know about each other, tell each other shit that you wouldn't have ever considered putting into any kind of form outside of your head before, trust each other so totally and completely you don't even consider that the other person would let you down - at anything.

Love is much deeper than infatuation - no matter how strong that infatuation is (And I've been there, I know what it's like.) or gets, and so don't let it get to your head. That infatuation may have turned into love had fate allowed it, but since circumstances seem to have intruded you'll never know, I guess.

But at 15 you've only met a tiny portion of the girls you'll ever know, and somebody else will come along. Hell, it might not even be that long off.

For me it was a case of noticing somebody i never had done before. Sure I'd seen her around, was in a few of her classes, and even knew her name. But I'd never seen her past being another person until I got moved next to her against my will for being too noisy in my science class. That was over 4 years ago now, and guess what? I'm in love.

So chin up, Mary won't be the only girl you'll get feelings for in life. She was just the starting point. Now that you've experienced this kind of infatuation you know what to do and what not to do next time. You'll be ready for it. We all live and learn, all the more so when things don't work out.

[Vyacheslav]

o_O I totally thought you were like 17 or 18, Lachesis...

[otters~1]

But I'd never seen her past being another person until I got moved next to her against my will for being too noisy in my science class.

Ahhh ... I've met so many girls this way.

<3

[Geti]

ARGH I JUST SPILT TEA THROUGHOUT MY BED EVERYTHING SUCKS OH GOD DAMN YOU WOBBLY CUP, DAMN YOU TO HELL!
I'm sick, and really don't feel like cleaning. Flipside is I'll have warm bedlinen in an hour when the drier's done, but still D:<

[squibbles]

I think I said something remarkably apt in relation to this discussion on IRC, so I'm reposting it here.

<squibbles> see, I know everyone has been like "it's not love, screw it"
<squibbles> but here's what I think
<squibbles> every car right?
<squibbles> they all have boots full of chocolates
<squibbles> except not
<squibbles> all of them are laxatives, bar one.
<squibbles> which has the goddamned best chocolate ever
<squibbles> now, you can either say "Oh, I don't want to chase the cars. I might end up eating a boot full of laxatives."
<squibbles> "That'd make me feel pretty shitty. (:D :D :D)"
<squibbles> or, you can chase every car you see, break their boots open, and eat everything, whether it's chocolate or laxatives.
<squibbles> more often then not, you'll find yourself up shit creek (:D :D :D)
<squibbles> but you will eventually find the chocolate
<squibbles> so what I'm saying, right, is that you know love when you feel it
<squibbles> it's obvious
<squibbles> however, you also think other things are love
<squibbles> so the only way to make sure you don't miss the car filled with chocolate, the indistinguishable beauty that is love, is to chase every car you can.

This applies to pretty much every post in this topic. It doesn't matter if it's love (chocolates) or some other emotion that appears to be love (laxatives), either way, you should go after all of it, otherwise you risk missing something great. Sure, most of them are just laxatives, but really, it's worth the risk. Even more since that's only a metaphor, so you don't even have to worry about diarrhea and dehydration.

Chase the shit out of every car that passes you. That is, until they order a restraining order on you. Then you stop. (This applies in both a literal and metaphorical sense)

EDIT: HEYA GETI! <3

[Destiny]

I think I said something remarkably apt in relation to this discussion on IRC, so I'm reposting it here.

<squibbles> see, I know everyone has been like "it's not love, screw it"
<squibbles> but here's what I think
<squibbles> every car right?
<squibbles> they all have boots full of chocolates
<squibbles> except not
<squibbles> all of them are laxatives, bar one.
<squibbles> which has the goddamned best chocolate ever
<squibbles> now, you can either say "Oh, I don't want to chase the cars. I might end up eating a boot full of laxatives."
<squibbles> "That'd make me feel pretty shitty. (:D :D :D)"
<squibbles> or, you can chase every car you see, break their boots open, and eat everything, whether it's chocolate or laxatives.
<squibbles> more often then not, you'll find yourself up shit creek (:D :D :D)
<squibbles> but you will eventually find the chocolate
<squibbles> so what I'm saying, right, is that you know love when you feel it
<squibbles> it's obvious
<squibbles> however, you also think other things are love
<squibbles> so the only way to make sure you don't miss the car filled with chocolate, the indistinguishable beauty that is love, is to chase every car you can.

This applies to pretty much every post in this topic. It doesn't matter if it's love (chocolates) or some other emotion that appears to be love (laxatives), either way, you should go after all of it, otherwise you risk missing something great. Sure, most of them are just laxatives, but really, it's worth the risk. Even more since that's only a metaphor, so you don't even have to worry about diarrhea and dehydration.

Chase the shit out of every car that passes you. That is, until they order a restraining order on you. Then you stop. (This applies in both a literal and metaphorical sense)

EDIT: HEYA GETI! <3

Although that's a pretty good metaphor, I don't think it will help you tell the difference between love and infatuation. I myself mistook an extremely powerful infatuation for love, and didn't realise that it wasn't love until I actually had fallen in love.

I had two remarkably similar discussions to just this last night actually, and during that time I managed to devise a pretty neat metaphor.

Love is like a bridge. Think of it like this. You are stood on one side of a raging river, and she is standing on the other. In order to get to her (and thus be in love) you need to build a bridge across to the other side. However, you can only build things over the side of the river closest to you - it's up to her to build the other half.

Bridges aren't simple structures, though. There are several elements that make up a bridge, and this metaphorical one is no different.

First thing you build are the supports, that hold the bridge up - that's infatuation. The stronger the infatuation, the stronger the supports. The stronger the supports, the less likely the bridge is to break when you cross it.

On top of the supports you then put the other layers of love, in order to create a path (or road, if it's a big enough bridge) that you can walk across. These other layers are, namely, trust, understanding, and caring.

Once you have all of that, and she has done the same to her side of the bridge, you can cross it and be in love. However, if any of the elements of the bridge are missing or too weak - on her side or yours, it doesn't matter - the bridge will break and you'll fall into the river.

So if you ever think that you're in love, just think about that. Do you have all the elements of the bridge? Does she? If the answer is no, then you're just infatuated. Probably very powerfully, because infatuation is a much stronger thing than you think of when you hear the word.

So there you have it, love is a bridge. Not a victory march, not even a cold and broken hallelujah. A bridge.

Totally need to copyright this metaphor...

[Lachesis]

Actually, I think your metaphor is great, just a tad disorganized. I think that infatuation would be the road, and without the supports, which are the love, the infatuation would just crash.

But yeah, long story short, she was just playing me along. She was burned really badly in a past relationship and didn't want to hurt me. I'm actually sadder than before, not because she was playing me along but because I know that she still can't move on from that relationship. I still love her, but it's more of a sibling style love instead of a potential girlfriend love. I've talked to one of her old friends who lives where she's moving, and he has true love for her. He said that he would work hard to help her move on from that.

And 987654321, I've stated multiple times over IRC that I was only 15.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

[Basically, put your penis into everything.]

A few problems come to mind right off the top of my head:

• When you get to the chocolate, chances are you'll be covered in shit.
• By the time you do finally reach the chocolate, you could be so used to dismissing what you've eaten as just another laxative that you'd just as likely dismiss it and dive immediately into the next laxative, and you'd never realize what you've had and then lost.
• There are presumably better ways of identifying laxatives than eating them. These careful approaches translate to all the approaches in love that don't involve giving everyone you meet a shot.
• The One might be put off by your apparent desperation.

[Lachesis]

[Basically, put your penis into everything.]

A few problems come to mind right off the top of my head:

• When you get to the chocolate, chances are you'll be covered in shit.
• By the time you do finally reach the chocolate, you could be so used to dismissing what you've eaten as just another laxative that you'd just as likely dismiss it and dive immediately into the next laxative, and you'd never realize what you've had and then lost.
• There are presumably better ways of identifying laxatives than eating them. These careful approaches translate to all the approaches in love that don't involve giving everyone you meet a shot.
• The One might be put off by your apparent desperation.

That's why Destiny's bridge metaphor is better for identifying love.

[Kablizzy]

Your generation is full of retards, and will never find true love.

That is all.

[Vyacheslav]

Your generation is full of retards, and will never find true love.

That is all.

It's cause classy people like you are the only ones who find true love anyways.

[Kablizzy]

Your generation is full of retards, and will never find true love.

That is all.

It's cause classy people like you are the only ones who find true love anyways.

I found a $20 in a stripper's g-string the other night.

[otters~1]

To summarize, destiny is saying you only have one shot at love and you're dead if you miss, and squibbles is saying you've got infinite chances if you're willing to cover yourself in shit.


We might as well lock the thread.

[Destiny]

To summarize, destiny is saying you only have one shot at love and you're dead if you miss, and squibbles is saying you've got infinite chances if you're willing to cover yourself in shit.


We might as well lock the thread.

Not necassarily. There's no reason why you can't swim to shore some way further downstream and try with somebody else. Hell, you can even try it again with the same person. Though that rarely results a bridge of any decency.

[otters~1]

To summarize, destiny is saying you only have one shot at love and you're dead if you miss, and squibbles is saying you've got infinite chances if you're willing to cover yourself in shit.


We might as well lock the thread.

Not necassarily. There's no reason why you can't swim to shore some way further downstream and try with somebody else. Hell, you can even try it again with the same person. Though that rarely results a bridge of any decency.

Metaphor = too far, bro. I agree with the principle, but, what if the bridge falls on you and you suffer brain damage or permanent semi-paralysis?

[Luminaflare]

We might as well lock the thread.

If this is ever locked I am unlocking it as soon as possible, this shit is just too entertaining.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

Your generation is full of retards, and will never find true love.

God, I hope that's true.