Stalking 101: How to not talk to girls

[kai]

Man, I really don't like feeling like this. So, school ended last week. One of my friends, I really liked her. But I never had the guts to actually say anything to her since we were already such good friends. Now, we're going off into different high schools. Ever since the last day of school, I can't stop thinking about her. I kinda had a feeling that she liked me back, but I wasn't sure about this, and like I said, we were already good friends so I didn't want to say anything. Now that school's over, I feel bad about not doing anything, and I can't stop wondering whether she did like me back, and I can't stop listening to Lonely Day by System of a Down and Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis. Also, I had a dream about her the other night, which really makes me feel like an idiot.

I don't know if anyone can say anything to console me, but I just felt like I had to tell this to someone who would listen.

Then you don't really have anything to lose if you ask her out now, right? It's only a different high school, after all.

I agree with Destiny 100% here. Go for it. Also, stop listening to Lonely Day. I did the same thing when I was bummed once, and I over played it so bad that I now can't stand any part of it, except that really awesome solo where both guitars are tremolo picking.

The worst she can say is no, and i totally feel you on 'that feeling'. This is giving me nostalgia from Ask Dr Tetris so i think ill vent a little bit...

Where to begin... well i guess for some of you who knew i was having problems with my ex-girlfriend. i wont go into detail, but it was just to much to cope with, being her friend and still feeling the way i did for her... so i broke it off completely, i needed more and she was indecisive. Right now im feeling just like the lyrics to Coheed and Cambria's Welcome Home except without all the whore nonsense... i was the whore in this case.

And what kills me is it was for this polyamorous girl that, after thinking about it more clearly now that im over her, i prolly would have not been as happy as i was with my anna (my GF). but heres the kicker... i didnt cheat, i only asked in fear of not asking and always regretting, thinking if she does im making the right decision. i remember before i asked i was talking with my boys, feeling so horrible for thinking like this and asking for advice, and one of my friends mom told me i should at least see how she feels, if im that love sick over her, right?

she says no. my friend whos mom told me to go for it told my GF. becky (polyamorous chic) told my GF... and brought copies of the emails (i used emails cause she just dumped the douchface i lived with at the time).

so blah blah we try to make it work, blah blah lost all trust blah blah i cant deal with just being friends blah blah goodbye.... so here i am caring for my grandmother who is slowly slipping off into dementia, working a job at a deangilos (being the only one with no fast paced restaurant skills... or any for that matter), juggling insurance and money for my grandmother so she can be eligible for medicaid in four years, dealing with the vent for my fucking super-soaker-lug-nut of a fucking inbred, six toed cat (not kidding bout the six toes... on all four paws, fucking awesome ^_^), and GED shit... which i now apply for free lessons since i got a job in west hartford.

im fucking drained.... and soo tired... mentally, physically, ...everything. i still dream of her, still think of her, still crave her warmth and the look of absolute love for me...
i dont see that look in her eyes anymore, and i fucked all that up. as much as she wants to belive me and take me back, ive givin her every reason not to. maybe one day... but for now, love stinks for me and fuck the brain ninja cockery that it rode in on.

most of the day im emotionless or pretending to care just to feel normal. did you guys know i was an accident? sometimes i wonder if theres someone up there conspiring against me, utterly pissed off that i undermined his decision to deny my very existence...
...well, if thats the case, then fuck you whoever / whatever you are.

im beat, taking a nap and making use of my day off tomorrow to fill out more corporate job exercise booklets and studying...


... oh and i found out becky was aware of nepf having my card number and stealing money little by little for a year before i found out. fuck that hypocrite, standing on her soap box of i-love-honesty bullshite she spouts off to everyone.

EDIT: fixed grammar to the extent of my present capabilities... good nite

[Kablizzy]

People who reproduce with themselves?

I dunno, I'd fuck me.

[squibbles]

People who reproduce with themselves?

I dunno, I'd fuck me.

I do on a regular basis! ;DDDDDD

EDIT: Err, that's talking about myself, not...errr...yeah. :S

[kai]

People who reproduce with themselves?

I dunno, I'd fuck me.

I do on a regular basis! ;DDDDDD

EDIT: Err, that's talking about myself, not...errr...yeah. :S

is it sad that i grab enough tissue for multiple sessions, when im feelin that chubby feelin? its like pringles for me... once i pop i just cant stop XD

[Vyacheslav]

People who reproduce with themselves?

I dunno, I'd fuck me.

Whoever wouldn't have sex with Blizz is either blind or not human.

[Radium]

some pretty top-notch posts in here

:]

[Pheidippides]

some pretty top-notch posts in here

:]

Like this one.

*Pheidi tries to be the grumpy guy who demands that this topic be kept on-topic. And that you stay off his lawn.*

[kai]

some pretty top-notch posts in here

:]

yeeeeeah... well so much for "post your woes and worries on here for consolation from fellow community members"... either that or you people think im joking / exaggerating / dont care / rather talk about fucking blizz.

if its the last one, i dont blame you, id fuck him too

[origami_alligator]

Time is the best healer.

Patently false. Untreated wounds become infected and kill you faster if time has its way.
Or in better keeping with the metaphor of wounds for emotional stress -- taking an active part in resolving the issue is a better solution than waiting it out and hoping the problem solves itself.[/quote]
I agree with Tsukatu entirely. Last winter a close female friend and I smooched a little bit when we were drunk at a party. The next week was torture. I didn't sleep for 3 days and she wasn't answering my 20+ phone calls. When we finally did talk it took another month or so before we were comfortable around each other again.
The thing is we resolved the issue instead of letting it fester and eat at our thoughts each day. Why we did smooch is beyond me, but it happened and that we found a common ground of knowing that we are just friends and always will be was an important thing to clarify quick after the fact.

@capt_weasle: I would consider that relationship a good thing to be done with but it seems like you're still hung up on so-and-so. Get out and meet new friends and new girls until you forget you even dated her.

@Torex: It's better to at least know how she feels about you than to just sit around and think about how you would want her to feel about you. I assume you have her phone number, so invite her out and just ask her. If she doesn't like you in such a way then you know and you can start to work towards getting over her; if she does like you in such a way then great.
protip: when you're feeling shitty it's much better to listen to music that makes you feel like you can get the girl than to listen to music that makes you feel like you can't get the girl.

[kai]

Patently false. Untreated wounds become infected and kill you faster if time has its way.
Or in better keeping with the metaphor of wounds for emotional stress -- taking an active part in resolving the issue is a better solution than waiting it out and hoping the problem solves itself.

doesnt matter if the other party disagrees and believes in time as the best healer

[Vyacheslav]

Personally, I would never call a girl I liked 20 times if she never called back.

[Torex]

Alright, I wanna thank all of you for your support, but telling me to just go ask her out instead of let it sit in my mind was kinda a bad idea. You see, what made me feel bad enough to post my situation in here was when we were talking over Facebook and she mentioned that she was going out with this guy. That's why asking her out would've been a bad idea. Also, I'm feeling pretty good about her, not all regretful and what-not. So, in this case, time was the cure. :P

[乳头的早餐谷物]

Alright, I wanna thank all of you for your support, but telling me to just go ask her out instead of let it sit in my mind was kinda a bad idea. You see, what made me feel bad enough to post my situation in here was when we were talking over Facebook and she mentioned that she was going out with this guy.

...and you didn't feel that was an important detail to share?

[Vyacheslav]

C'mon, that's like leaving out heatsink when building a computer.

[origami_alligator]

Personally, I would never call a girl I liked 20 times if she never called back.

Have you ever been emotionally and/or physically involved with a female before?

[Vyacheslav]

Yeah. Not everyone has the same experiences as you.

[Limer]

Ive been in a similar situation afew times before southpaw.
The first time, i made the mistake of avoiding her for awile and lost out on a good friend for a month.
The second time, we straightened it out there and then not half an hour after it happened... and then it happened again thanks to prolonged state of drunkness, but the next day we were back to normal exactly the way it was.
So my point is, yes, immediate confrontation is the way to go.
And i totally understand why you would have called her 20 times

However, in regards to Torex i don't really agree. If he expresses how he feels while shes in a relationship then she'll get all confused and end up annoyed. Ive seen it before. Alot. But i do think seeing her lots and flirting like hell is a better way to go. It will make her think about you and stuff, which is always good.

[origami_alligator]

Yeah. Not everyone has the same experiences as you.

No, I get that part, I'm just curious why you wouldn't call someone you cared about 20+ times if they didn't call you back after a day or two. Different ideas about what women want when they are freaked out and bothered? Honestly my friend probably would have rather not seen me for a few months until the moment was so long gone that it didn't really matter to her anymore. But a few months of agony and not understanding why it happened is not worth the week it took to get her to talk about it and spend only a month in accepting that it happened and moving on. I wonder if you would care about your friendship enough to call someone 20+ times to preserve it.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

I wonder if you would care about your friendship enough to call someone 20+ times to preserve it.

I'm of the "anything taken to its extreme is harmful" camp (or more correctly, "most things taken to their extremes..."), so I'm with 9! on this one.
I've never been pathetic and desperate enough to call someone 20 times without having them call me back, and there is no circumstance I can think of in which that wouldn't just put you in a worse position than you started in. Obviously I have friendships I care about enough to put considerable effort into maintaining every now and again, but calling 20 times strikes me as unconditionally the wrong direction to go. I would expect to lose more friends and faster if I did this.
This is, like, stalker behavior. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're seriously condescending to 9! about never having been desperate enough to do something so creepy and annoying.

[SlappyMcGee]

I wonder if you would care about your friendship enough to call someone 20+ times to preserve it.

I'm of the "anything taken to its extreme is harmful" camp (or more correctly, "most things taken to their extremes..."), so I'm with 9! on this one.
I've never been pathetic and desperate enough to call someone 20 times without having them call me back, and there is no circumstance I can think of in which that wouldn't just put you in a worse position than you started in. Obviously I have friendships I care about enough to put considerable effort into maintaining every now and again, but calling 20 times strikes me as unconditionally the wrong direction to go. I would expect to lose more friends and faster if I did this.
This is, like, stalker behavior. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're seriously condescending to 9! about never having been desperate enough to do something so creepy and annoying.

I'm wondering; does she have voicemail? Calling on twenty seperate occasions and missing her is extreme but understandable; leaving twenty different messages is fucking insane. It seems like one email with all of your ideas towards the situation would be a hundred times as effective.

[otters~1]

I wonder if you would care about your friendship enough to call someone 20+ times to preserve it.

I'm of the "anything taken to its extreme is harmful" camp (or more correctly, "most things taken to their extremes..."), so I'm with 9! on this one.
I've never been pathetic and desperate enough to call someone 20 times without having them call me back, and there is no circumstance I can think of in which that wouldn't just put you in a worse position than you started in. Obviously I have friendships I care about enough to put considerable effort into maintaining every now and again, but calling 20 times strikes me as unconditionally the wrong direction to go. I would expect to lose more friends and faster if I did this.
This is, like, stalker behavior. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're seriously condescending to 9! about never having been desperate enough to do something so creepy and annoying.

I'm wondering; does she have voicemail? Calling on twenty seperate occasions and missing her is extreme but understandable; leaving twenty different messages is fucking insane. It seems like one email with all of your ideas towards the situation would be a hundred times as effective.

Exactly. I could understand leaving twenty missed calls on her phone -- that sends a much stronger "I still care about you" message than just one or two -- but leaving a bunch of torn-up messages is just a bad idea.

[Vyacheslav]

I wonder if you would care about your friendship enough to call someone 20+ times to preserve it.

I'm of the "anything taken to its extreme is harmful" camp (or more correctly, "most things taken to their extremes..."), so I'm with 9! on this one.
I've never been pathetic and desperate enough to call someone 20 times without having them call me back, and there is no circumstance I can think of in which that wouldn't just put you in a worse position than you started in. Obviously I have friendships I care about enough to put considerable effort into maintaining every now and again, but calling 20 times strikes me as unconditionally the wrong direction to go. I would expect to lose more friends and faster if I did this.
This is, like, stalker behavior. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're seriously condescending to 9! about never having been desperate enough to do something so creepy and annoying.

This is exactly what I meant but I'm too nice to put it that way.

[Tanner]

This is exactly what I meant but I'm too nice to put it that way.

Then you don't belong on America's Intern... what? Not AOL? ... my bad, continue.

[wumbla]

I couldn't wait for this summer. School was getting overly stressful as I saw my final exam grades dropping my final grades form As to Bs. No matter how hard or how long I studied, I still didn't get the results I wanted outta my final exam grades. Then finally- summer. I thought for the first week all I was going to do was relax and releive some stress. Then my parents came up with a whole list of things I need to do before the end of this summer. I figured that with vacation time, I will barely have enough time to finish these things such as over-the-summer projects, a. Eagle scout project and ect. All I want is some free time. I need time to have an hour or so to sit down and do whatever I want. To have fun. It's litterally driving me insane. I wake up every morning knowing how much work I need to do, and the stress is taking it's toll. On top of that the girl ive liked suddenly started ignoring me. I don't even know why. Things are just too confusing right now, I didn't want to let it ALL out on this thread, but I hope this helps. Thanks.

Edit:finish, not Finnish, stupid spell correcter

[otters~1]

Finnish

Was this a subconscious reference to the nature of your summer distractions? Or perhaps to the girl you mentioned?