Metanet Forums

This topic is taken from the Cracked.com forums, and I thought it would be a great little addition for us.

Cracked.com wrote:Entries will come in three categories. THIS THREAD WILL CONSIST OF NOTHING BUT ENTRIES:

1. Encouraging REAL news stories or facts. "Researchers in Korea have developed a hangover cure that works in just 30 seconds. It will hit the market next year."

2. Jokes. Traditional setup-punchline jokes. Short, quick. Either extremely good or extremely bad.

3. Pictures. Happy pictures.

Now, there are 150 teenagers reading this right now thinking, "HA! I KNOW WHAT I'LL DO, I"LL POST SOMETHING REALLY DARK AND DISTURBING, FOR THAT JUXTAPOSITION OF WHAT DAVE WANTED TO WHAT I DID WILL BE HILARIOUS AND WILL PROVE ME TO BE A FORUM REBEL!!!!!!" Please refrain. This is straightforward and positive.

And.... go.

I'll start us off.



EDIT: Also, for you moderators and such, this is in General Discussion because A) it isn't strictly media and B) It should reach a broader audience, which is nice.

Keeping with the kitten theme:

Keeping the trend going.

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out burning forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks

<(^_^)>

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Two: one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the penis--LADDER! I SAID LADDER!

scythe33 wrote:

I'm trying at my best to think "Happy" about that, instead of <«"Happy"»>

W-W-W-WOOFWOOF!
Translated into:
C-C-C-Combobreaker!
(Yeah yeah, not really a combo breaker, but come on! Be happy and play along!)

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?



It was two tyred.

Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a lake. The first blonde yells, "How did you get to the other side of the lake?" The second replies, "You /are/ on the other side of the lake!"

Two clarinets are walking down the street. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, who was that piccolo I saw you with the other day?" to which the other replies, "That's no piccolo; that's my fife!"

1+1 is not 2.

Why?

Because it is 2.0

Tunco123 wrote:1+1 is not 2.

Why?

Because it is 2.0

what....

Tunco123 wrote:1+1 is not 2.

Why?

Because it is 2.0

This is probably the stupidest thing in the whole thread, but I laughed so hard trying to understand what he meant.

On topic:

Q: If you're driving upstream in a canoe, and the wheels fall off, how long does it take a cricket with a broken leg to knock all of the seeds out of a dill pickle?

A: None, because there are no bones in ice cream and a banana is long

capt_weasle wrote:Q: If you're driving upstream in a canoe, and the wheels fall off, how long does it take a cricket with a broken leg to knock all of the seeds out of a dill pickle?

A: None, because there are no bones in ice cream and a banana is long

On that note...

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a broken light bulb?
A1: Three; one to hold back the giraffe, and the other two to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
A2: To get to the other side.

Q: How many lojban-speakers does it take to change a broken light bulb?
A: Two; one to figure out what to change it into, and the other to find a bulb that emits broken light.

Tsukatu wrote:Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a broken light bulb?
A1: Three; one to hold back the giraffe, and the other two to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
A2: To get to the other side.

Q: Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One.

Naww! Lookathalilpuppy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04RZrf3- ... re=related

James bond and Jean Cloude Van Dam meeting:

- "I'm Bond, James Bond."
- "I'm Dam, Van Dam, Cloude Van Dam, Jean Cloude Van Dam."

------

Parents taking their son to nudistic beach.

- "Dad, why do some people have bigger ones, and someone smaller ones (refering to penises)?
- "Well, you see, those with bigger ones are more stupid, and people with smaller ones are smarter."
- "Look dad, that man talking to mom is getting stupider and stupider!"

------

Two people went hunting, and a snake bites the first in a penis. The second guy wanted to call a doctor, but he couldn't get the signal so he walked a bit. When he caught signal, he called:

- "Me and my friend went hunting and he got bitten by a snake..."
- "Where did it bite him?"
- "Well, it was behind the bush, while we were walking..."
- "No, not that! What did it bite him for?"
- "Oh doctor, it's kinda..."
- "You have to suck out the poison immediately until it's spread over the body!"
- "But doctor..."
- "No but. Suck it out or he's gone!"

He's coming back to his friend that asks him:

- "So, what did the doctor tell you?"
- "He told you to die."