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1. Ikea has arrows and footprints on the floor. This means that Ikea is a store for people who cannot orientate themselves.
2. Ikea lets people sit on their chairs and sleep on their beds. This could lead to certain people coming who [might] urinate/defecate on the furniture, giving a bad impression of the shop. [Not that I've ever seen that happen, but, hypothetically...]
3. A picture of an Ikea mug in the catalogue shows a hole in the bottom of it. [That catalogue is now two years old, so that isn't really valid now; however, you can make a similar argument with those lightbulbs in their latest catalogue which are labelled as being wrapped in rice paper.]
4. Ikea sells all this 'cheap rubbish' but it does not sell digital cameras.
5. According to Wikipedia, a historic building had to be destroyed for an Ikea store to be created.
6. There is graffiti at Ikea's entrance. This gives a bad impression of the store.
7. Some places in Ikea smell awful.
8. Ikea can't spell 'hand cream'. (Hand creme!?)
9. Ikea has a 1.5-seater armchair. People do not come in halves.
10. Ikea has a 3.5-seater sofa. Ditto.
11. Ikea's idea of a 'Panel Curtain' is a piece of paper with holes cut in it. It is 3m by 0.6m and costs £14.99. [Apparently they've been reduced to £9.99, but that's irrelevant.]
12. Ikea's Allak Swivel Chairs make a certain bad sound when sat on.
13. Ikea's clocks don't work.
14. Some of Ikea's staff don't turn their computers off when they are not using them.
15. Neither their fridges nor their coffee-makers work.
16. In Room 28 of [that Ikea store that I visited], the microwave is placed directly on top of the fridge, which is wrong.
17. There is litter all over the floor, and a lot of it.
18. Ikea's kitchen furniture is badly shaped. And their beds too. (Circular beds!!?)
19. Ikea's Bathroom Series displays stuff from Tesco. That is just stupid.
20. Ikea thinks that 'accessories' is spelt with only one 'c'.
21. Ikea is obsessed with keeping things as flat as possible. This means that eventually Ikea will become 2-D.
22. Ikea does not [or, alternatively, "doesn't"] know how to use apostrophes.
23. Ikea is VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY BORING.
24. Ikea has graffiti all over their toilet seats. Also, one of their toilet seats is made from metal.
25. Ikea has lightbulbs in very bad shapes ever, including 'flat' lightbulbs.
26. In a few areas there are HOLES in the floor.
27. Ikea's measuring tapes are prone to rips and tears and so are not accurate.
28. Ikea's sausages are hard and their bacon is somewhat salty and hard.
29. Ikea's plastic bags are heavily overpriced.
30. Ikea sells hot dogs for 50p each. This is a severe case of cruelty to animals. (Am I taking this too literally?)
31. Ikea's pencils sometimes break when dropped.
32. Ikea's queues are very slow.
33. Ikea's products mostly have unpronounceable names.
34. Ikea does not sell N-related products!

1. Wednesday is not spelled how it sounds. This means that people who like Wednesdays disregard phonics.
2. Wednesday allows people to use the bathroom. People might defecate on Wednesday, and wouldn't Tuesday find that to be the Cat's Pajamas? But Wednesday does not care.
3. I once saw a photoshop which showed Superman fighting Spiderman on a Wednesday. This isn't really relevant anymore, but it could be compared to the current photo of Superman being wrapped in Wednesday's New York Times.
4. Wednesday does not sell digital cameras.
5. According to Wikipedia, the far better "EvanderHolyfielday" had to be destroyed to fit in Wednesday.
6. I saw some kids steal a chocolate bar on a Wednesday once. Therefore, Wednesday has low standards.
7. Some places on Wednesday smell awful. For instance, IKEA's.
8. Wednesday cannot spell "Ruminations". (wtf rumenations?)
9. Wednesday has a time called "Midday". Wtf, days do not come in mids.
10. "afternoon". See 9.
11. Wednesday is the day when I pay taxes. Sure, the taxes were much higher when I paid them on Tuesday, but that is irrelevant.
12. Birds are particularly chipper and loud on Wednesdays. Irritating.
13. Pieces of Paper with the word "Wednesday" written upon them do not automatically move forward with the week.
14. Humans use several billion watts of power on Wednesdays. Way to be eco friendly, cuntwads.
15. I wanted to make coffee on Wednesday, but I did not possess a functioning coffee maker. Explain that.
16. YOU CAN NOT PLACE A MICROWAVE ABOVE A FRIDGE.
17. Public places have garbage in them on Wednesdays.
18. Wednesday allows things of all shapes and sizes to exist during it.
19. Wednesday occasionally appears on Nazi-themed calendars. That's just stupid.
20. Wednesday does not have a firm grasp on English.
21. Wednesday has been getting longer since summer appeared. Therefore, Wednesday will eventually become year-long.
22. Wednes'day does not use the cool Twi'Lek apostrophe.
23. WEDNESDAY IS VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERYV ERY VEYR VEYR VERY VERYV ERYV EVEYR VERY VERY BORING.
24. Wednesday's bathrooms are the worst.
25. Wednesday's opinions on interior lighting occasionally differ from my own.
26. Wednesday's ability to construct is questionable at best.
27. Wednesday might claim to just be a day, but I would never use their brand's measuring tape.
28. Wednesday sometimes offers cheap breakfast while you exist, but it sucks.
29. Wednesday knows nothing of our economy! It's still pricing things like it were last Friday.
30. Wednesday is called "Hump Day". Does this mean we should fuck eachother senseless all day? (Am I taking this too literally lols)
31. That pen I got from Wednesday ran out of ink at around #21
32. The minutes in Wednesday are so long, it's as if everyone is using them at the same time!
33. Wednesday occasionally prefers style over substance; an indefinable visual flair that appeals to someone who enjoys the abstract but would like to keep their home well kept; a glimpse of the future in the standardized now.
34.