Poop Like This

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defecation ... on_posture


...and then discuss.

I'm thinkin' I'ma poop like this while wearing Vibram FiveFingers and playing Settlers of Catan on my iPod on which I've installed a Lisp implementation of Linux, but with all the English text in the game translated to Lojban, and while smoking electronic cigarettes.

EDIT: Oh, and I'll keep the iPod and e-cigarettes in a fanny pack.

[smartalco]

Ignoring everything else you said, the guy in the picture is like 4'5". I don't think I could sit on there the same way.

[scythe]

dad status

[OneSevenNine]

That guy has an awfully smug look on his face, like "Yeah, bitch, I'm taking a shit in such a way that I might have a stroke and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me."

Of course, he has all his clothes on. Sooo.

[krusch]

That guy has an awfully smug look on his face, like "Yeah, bitch, I'm taking a shit in such a way that I might have a stroke and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me."

Of course, he has all his clothes on. Sooo.

I don't quite understand this post.

I would think his smug look is more because he is -less- likely to have a stroke if he's shitting in that position.

Anyway, never tried this myself, outside of camping, but Tsuki's whole itinerary sounds pretty awesome. Might have to try that.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

Oh, yeah, I definitely am not including the state of that man's dress in the "like this".

Anyway, I tried this. I didn't notice much of a difference in the amount of effort I had to put in, except that I had the new challenges of maintaining my balance and fighting muscle fatigue in my lower legs, lower back, and arms (keeping myself upright). I suppose all of those things might have been easier if I had leaned back, though.
It also seems like mounting the toilet like this is more accident-prone; I would be curious to see the per-capita injury rates for people who Poop Like This versus the rate of toilet-related stroke, cancer, and myocardial infarctions for People Who Aren't Retarded.
I also wonder if there's some "best of both worlds", half-standing position that could reduce both the rate of horrible medical problems and physical injury.

[Vyacheslav]

My grandmother's bathroom has one of those toilets. It's awful to use.

[noops]

I also wonder if there's some "best of both worlds", half-standing position that could reduce both the rate of horrible medical problems and physical injury.

Lifting your legs up whilst shitting would be the closest thing, I imaging. If I'm unclear, I just mean go down normally, put your hands on the seat for support and just lift your legs higher. Best I can come up with :/.

Anyway, that is pretty dumb. That sort of thing should only be used out of a form of necessity. Though apparently bringing your legs up makes it easier to get the bigger shits out, since when you're sitting normally your colon is bent, or something.

[OneSevenNine]

That guy has an awfully smug look on his face, like "Yeah, bitch, I'm taking a shit in such a way that I might have a stroke and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me."

Of course, he has all his clothes on. Sooo.

I don't quite understand this post.

I would think his smug look is more because he is -less- likely to have a stroke if he's shitting in that position.

Anyway, never tried this myself, outside of camping, but Tsuki's whole itinerary sounds pretty awesome. Might have to try that.

Oops. You're right. I should've put "less of a chance of getting cancer."

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

I also wonder if there's some "best of both worlds", half-standing position that could reduce both the rate of horrible medical problems and physical injury.

Lifting your legs up whilst shitting would be the closest thing, I imaging. If I'm unclear, I just mean go down normally, put your hands on the seat for support and just lift your legs higher. Best I can come up with :/.

I was thinking more like a sideways lunge. For example, consider the diagram in the OP, but imagine one of his legs extended down to the floor to the side of the bowl. It seems to me that that'd offer you better stability in your efforts to maintain optimal colonic alignment.

[capt_weasle]

I think this kid has the right idea:

[乳头的早餐谷物]

This way is the only way to go, and I say this entirely seriously. I'm not a fan of the "it's unnatural so it's bad" argument, but there's no denying that sitting-shitting is entirely unnatural. Squatting is easier (and cleaner, as it so happens), makes using a public toilet actually bearable, and if you somehow manage to injure yourself in the process, you must be retarded.

[krusch]

You would say that, Dr Nguyen Minh Chau.

[Rose]

Squatting is easier

I physically cannot squat like the guy in the picture, much less shit while doing so. Not only that, but I'm 6'3", so even if I could squat, I doubt I could on a normal-sized toilet. So anyway, my question is... even if you can squat like that, how is it easier?

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

Squatting is easier

I physically cannot squat like the guy in the picture, much less shit while doing so. Not only that, but I'm 6'3", so even if I could squat, I doubt I could on a normal-sized toilet. So anyway, my question is... even if you can squat like that, how is it easier?

I'm 6'5" and not particularly flexible, yet I can squat like that with only minor discomfort; your argument is invalid.

[Vyacheslav]

The act of squatting itself isn't uncomfortable unless you are taking a dump for more than 15 minutes and then it might start to bother your knees and feet a little bit.

[Tanner]

The act of squatting itself isn't uncomfortable unless you are taking a dump for more than 15 minutes and then it might start to bother your knees and feet a little bit.

If it's taking you 15 minutes to take a shit, you ought to try eating more fibre.

[Vyacheslav]

Exactly. Though I usually take less than 5 minutes to shit.

[29403]

No thanks

[Rose]

Squatting is easier

I physically cannot squat like the guy in the picture, much less shit while doing so. Not only that, but I'm 6'3", so even if I could squat, I doubt I could on a normal-sized toilet. So anyway, my question is... even if you can squat like that, how is it easier?

I'm 6'5" and not particularly flexible, yet I can squat like that with only minor discomfort; your argument is invalid.

Okay, then disregard the height argument. I still, regardless, can't squat like that. I didn't say it's uncomfortable to do so; I said I can't do it at all.

Also, I was unaware that 15 minutes is considered a long time to shit. I do that all the time o_O

[Rose]

I think the way to best minimize both medical risks and the risk of injury is to lean forward, while seated, so that the torso is parallel to the floor. This, plus a little anterior pelvic tilt, creates the same angle at the hips as squatting does, only it's much easier on your knees and requires far less stability.

-D. Lunch Break, Professor of shitting

I will actually try this. It seems like a good idea.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

I think the way to best minimize both medical risks and the risk of injury is to lean forward, while seated, so that the torso is parallel to the floor. This, plus a little anterior pelvic tilt, creates the same angle at the hips as squatting does, only it's much easier on your knees and requires far less stability.

-D. Lunch Break, Professor of shitting

Y'know, I think this could definitely be why I didn't notice much of a difference. I play games on my Android when I shit, so I'm pretty much always leaning considerably forward. However, sometimes one of my legs will fall asleep if I'm in that position for too long.

[squibbles]

I find that it's much easier to expel larger chunks if as I push with my bowels, I slowly pull my hips far back (and I mean really far back), and I just cannot think of a way to facilitate this motion while squatting on such a small perch without falling.

That said, this will be useful in nightclubs, on those toilets you really do not want to sit on.

UPDATE:

Ok, I decided to, in the name of science, attempt this, and as glorious as it was, I encountered a few issues:

1) Whatever is on your boots is on your toilet. Even that dogshit you stepped in, yes.
2) Splash noise is much louder, and much awkwarder.
3) Peeing while shitting. You know how it's kind of natural? Well, unless you want piss down the back of your pants, you better restrain that shit.
4) Getting on the toilet is really difficult in jeans. I have not tried other pant styles.
5) How the fuck do you wipe?

Upsides, though:

1) IT FEELS SO GOOD
2) IT FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD
3) No wet arse from the splash
4) If a ravenous wolf dives through the window behind you, you can just fucking leg it.

[bobaganuesh_2]

Next up:

[Tanner]

Poop like this: