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Inspired by this little verse by ChrisE....

IRC wrote: [22:07] <+ChrisE> The golden glow, the orange hue,
[22:07] <+ChrisE> Calls to me like a cockatoo.
[22:07] <+ChrisE> A gleaming spread, it does delight,
[22:07] <+ChrisE> Creates an entrancing warmly sight.
[22:07] <+ChrisE> Take a bite, take two, three four,
[22:07] <+ChrisE> But then, alas! There is no more,
[22:07] <+ChrisE> It's the meal I love the most,
[22:07] <+ChrisE> Don't argue with the beans on toast.

....this is a topic like 30 Minute Comics, but poems. And a shorter timespan. Each round has a different topic. Feel free to play it and post the results here, but it's more fun to do it on IRC. You have to do exactly that many minutes/seconds, too.

To start us off:

Round One
Topic - The Internet

Sunset

IRC wrote:[22:15] <sunset> the internet
[22:15] <sunset> it's really big
[22:15] <sunset> I like the internet
[22:15] <sunset> I revolve around it
[22:15] <sunset> relapsing to my comfy chair
[22:15] <sunset> as I sit and stare
[22:15] <sunset> at a screen that melts my eyes.

ChrisE

IRC wrote:[22:15] <+ChrisE> A web of knowledge, a web of games.
[22:15] <+ChrisE> No two sites are ever the same.
[22:15] <+ChrisE> A link over here, a link over there,
[22:15] <+ChrisE> Pages of joy, pages of flare.
[22:15] <+ChrisE> Searching through pages of shite,
[22:15] <+ChrisE> Helping with homework right through the night.
[22:15] <+ChrisE> The more that you see the better it gets,
[22:15] <+ChrisE> The glory of things that is the internet .

Round Two
Topic - kkstrong

ChrisE

IRC wrote:[22:23] <+ChrisE> The man that is, the man that was.
[22:23] <+ChrisE> He is inside all of us.
[22:23] <+ChrisE> Cool as a cucumber, Harsh as a fang,
[22:23] <+ChrisE> Cool as a cucumber, Harsh as a fang,
[22:23] <+ChrisE> Quick as a rabbit, agile as fleases,
[22:23] <+ChrisE> He comes and goes wherever he pleases,
[22:23] <+ChrisE> In summary, from this poetical flick,
[22:23] <+ChrisE> I really think kkstrong's just a dick.

Brttrx

IRC wrote:[22:23] <Brttrx> kkstrong is a son of a bitch
[22:23] <Brttrx> more annoying than an asshole itch
[22:23] <Brttrx> if he ever was to die
[22:23] <Brttrx> i would probably lay down and cry
[22:23] <Brttrx> but smile as tears came out my dick
[22:23] <Brttrx> because he is the one i pick
[22:23] <Brttrx> if i had one person to kill
[22:23] <Brttrx> it would be kkstrong, id make him ill
[22:23] <Brttrx> poison his food that i force feed him
[22:23] <Brttrx> i own 2 gag balls, i know that i'll need em
[22:23] <Brttrx> because he will cry when i plant my seed in him
[22:23] <Brttrx> and burning a cigarette on his baby balls
[22:23] <Brttrx> i will never have time to stall
[22:24] <Brttrx> because once i'm done and his body is dead
[22:24] <Brttrx> i will proceed on my knees and give his corpse head

(That last one receives Vyach's seal of approval, by the way)

So, go and make your own, but just remember this one rule...

IRC wrote:[22:17] * fawk used HAIKU BAN!

No haiku, or you die.

I think these might get too vulgar for the forums. Something better left in IRC.

If poetry is vulgar, you're doing it wrong. I'd like to try this when my schoolwork stops eyeing my free time so hungrily.

fawk wrote:
IRC wrote:[22:17] * fawk used HAIKU BAN!

Bloody lame

I have a tube of smarties
I keep twelve for safe keeping
Pink ones blue ones green ones red ones
Because it gets me through the day

And it took me about 2 mins so does that count?

Heartattack wrote:I think these might get too vulgar for the forums. Something better left in IRC.

Nothing is too vulgar for the forums.

xVxCrushloaderusSupremusxVx wrote:
Heartattack wrote:I think these might get too vulgar for the forums. Something better left in IRC.
Nothing is too vulgar for the forums.

Lion sex is really cool.
It last's about 15 seconds, fool.
But the King of Sperm get's it back up within 5 minutes.
And is back on it within 6.

guy_zap this thread deserves better attention, we need to advertise this everywhere.

wow
i can't believe it!
oisin still plays farmville!
he's 100 experience points
short of level 121.

he can plant real cool things
like super-potatos and tomacco
i knew i shouldn't have quit
at level 24.

he has eleven villas
and can even afford giraffes!
he even uses his pocket money
to buy his farmville cash

with that he splashes on rainbow chickens
he has acai tees a plenty
fuel is like worth nothing to him
he even has a tiger!

if only i spent all my time
to make my farm amazing
but thankfully unlike oisin
i don't have carpal's tunnel!

Is there a topic?
There should.
Would I write a (good) oem with a topic?
I would.
Overall, I'd say that my poetry's okay.
And today
I may
See a movie by Michael Bay
But yeah, I guess my poetry's pretty good.
It was honed in the dank recesses of da 'hood.
And while I may suck at making good rhymes,
I must say, I'm having a hell of a time.

What happens when you cross the best haiku ever with William Carlos Williams?

"Haikus can be fun,
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator."

*Plus*

"I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold"

*Equals*

"So sweet and so cold
Were the plums I ate from your
Refrigerator."

*Or*

"Forgive me, for I
Ate the sweet cold plums from your
Refrigerator."

There are a bunch of ways to do it, but I can't decide which is best. I think the second one works better because it includes the "Forgive me" part, but I'll probably think up a few new iterations at some point.

I found Brttx's one rather...eh...

pheidi... fawk used a
haiku-ban but to be quite
honest, fear nothing

I like sunset's use of the word "relapsing" in place of the expected "relaxing", making reference to the addictive nature of the internet.

Gone, gone the neverwinds be
Salient; Yet thorough in their confinement
Hearts pierces by icy cold chills
The life drained from a loveless hand

Eyes closed; Heart open
Palms ready for the coming of the end
Each thought plummets to a place
Where nothing can escape

Beating, Pondering, Waiting, Wondering
Half attentive, fully aware
Life amiss, but yet still all there
What gauntlet lie in wait next?

Who lives, who dies, who stays?
Each tick of the tock clock calls
Your number, my number
We all have our time in the end

My smile wanes and yours waxes
Cruel, cruel candle begone!
Out like the light of a wickmaker's toil
The evening has begun one last time...

Edit: No, trust me, it's on-topic.

watch out, son, he's mad now!
his eyes are blue!
enraged with you!
what do you do?
oh, what do you do?
you pitifully run, scream in grace
and he catches you
and beats you down to a pulp
hardy har har.
har har.
oh shit.

Pheidippides wrote:If poetry is vulgar, you're doing it wrong.

You can't be serious about this?

To an extent. I didn't mean that everything should be pure as new-fallen snow, but beyond a certain point things get uncomfortable.

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