Stalking 101: How to not talk to girls

[noops]

Hmm... Necroposting, d'you think? I'm not sure, but... Hmm...

[otters]

Hmm... Necroposting, d'you think? I'm not sure, but... Hmm...

Hahahaha. Backseat moderator! You win a Fuck Off!

This is a valid contribution to a thread intended for exactly this.

If you ask me, this should just be pinned so we avoid bringing it up from two or three pages back.

[Zephyr]

A while ago, I was walking home with a kid I know and a few other people when he asked "Do you have *insertnameheres* number?". "No I don't, but I do have your mum's number." I joked. Being the only one not knowing that his mum had died a few years previously, I had no idea why he just exploded on me. Now I know, feel really bad and have no idea if I'm supposed to just pretend it never happened or apologize.

[乳头的早餐谷物]

A while ago, I was walking home with a kid I know and a few other people when he asked "Do you have *insertnameheres* number?". "No I don't, but I do have your mum's number." I joked. Being the only one not knowing that his mum had died a few years previously, I had no idea why he just exploded on me. Now I know, feel really bad and have no idea if I'm supposed to just pretend it never happened or apologize.

Fuck that guy, you didn't do anything wrong.

[Tunco]

A while ago, I was walking home with a kid I know and a few other people when he asked "Do you have *insertnameheres* number?". "No I don't, but I do have your mum's number." I joked. Being the only one not knowing that his mum had died a few years previously, I had no idea why he just exploded on me. Now I know, feel really bad and have no idea if I'm supposed to just pretend it never happened or apologize.

Briefly explain your situation to he guy as you did here, if he has a little sense of empathy he will understand you. -Which he should, in this case. Besides, you didn't do anything wrong.

[otters]

A while ago, I was walking home with a kid I know and a few other people when he asked "Do you have *insertnameheres* number?". "No I don't, but I do have your mum's number." I joked. Being the only one not knowing that his mum had died a few years previously, I had no idea why he just exploded on me. Now I know, feel really bad and have no idea if I'm supposed to just pretend it never happened or apologize.

Briefly explain your situation to he guy as you did here, if he has a little sense of empathy he will understand you. -Which he should, in this case. Besides, you didn't do anything wrong.

I'm reasonably confident that if this guy's mom died a few years back he's heard this kind of thing before several times now.

[Destiny]

So it seems like a lot of you dudes have girly problems on here, and i was no different in highschool, honestly. The big thing that you need to realise is that, although you feel like your world practically revolves around "Her", and your feelings are your biggest secret, people actually consider it normal. So you fancy (or love, perhaps) a girl and she's not popular or liked by other people - who cares? If you told people, they would actually see it as normal. I found this out the hard way.

My first crush was on this girl called Sarah, and she was the kind of person who... well... We'll just call her socially successfull. She wasnt prom queen material or anything but she was good looking, plenty of friends, bubbly and kind, great sense of humour, blah blah. So I was head over heels for this chick, and i didnt tell anyone. Eventually (like, several months eventually) I worked up the guts to tell her. I told her that i was head over heels for her, and she just thought of it as cute. Nothing changed between us at all. I found out a day later she had a boyfriend whom i'd never met (and never did.), so i knew things werent going anywhere with her. I still talked to her all the time and stuff though, and i told nobody but her how i felt. Not even my closest friends.

Now some many months later Sarah told one of her friends about me. I didnt really like this friend, and i didnt know that sarah had told her behind my back. Said friend, Ellen, confronted me about it, and I denied my infatuation - Ellen merely shrugged it off as 'whatever' and never brought it up again. I was surprised i didnt become the schools gossip after someone with such a big mouth finding out.

Now we skip forward another few months (about a year after my initial infatuation with Sarah.), and I'm falling for another girl called Joanna. I get my guts, ask her out (it really is easier the second time), and she said no. It was okay though, we were still friends. A week later she confessed to me that she had feelings for me too, and we started dating.

Joanna doesnt want to tell anyone about our relationship and makes me keep it a secret. I never got to see her in school, and if i did we had to pretend all was as it ever was, which killed me inside. However, Joanna had allowed me to tell my best friend, because he was trustworthy and could keep a secret. So I tell him, and he's cool about it. We tell each other this kind of stuff, so it was all pretty normal.

Four months later, one of my not-so-close friends finds out Alex knows that i'm dating someone. After I refuse to tell him who it is, and Alex does the same, he decides to use his fists and beat it out of Alex (It was nothing too bad, there were a couple of bruises on Alex's stomach, that's all.) - so Alex spills and the next week the whole school knew. At first, myself and Joanna expected the world to crash down on us - there werent many relationships in the school at this point - she was 14 and I was 13, so this was pretty big. But nobody even reacted. It seemed like relationships were just normal, even if said relationship involved a reject and some not popular but damned hot quiet girl.

I'm still with Joanna now, after three and a half years, she's my whole world.

But it just goes to show - if you tell people, even the girl herself, it really isnt so big an issue as it seems. I hope this gives you guys the courage to do what must be done. Now get out there and do it.

[Donfuy]

So it seems like a lot of you dudes have girly problems on here, and i was no different in highschool, honestly. The big thing that you need to realise is that, although you feel like your world practically revolves around "Her", and your feelings are your biggest secret, people actually consider it normal. So you fancy (or love, perhaps) a girl and she's not popular or liked by other people - who cares? If you told people, they would actually see it as normal. I found this out the hard way.

My first crush was on this girl called Sarah, and she was the kind of person who... well... We'll just call her socially successfull. She wasnt prom queen material or anything but she was good looking, plenty of friends, bubbly and kind, great sense of humour, blah blah. So I was head over heels for this chick, and i didnt tell anyone. Eventually (like, several months eventually) I worked up the guts to tell her. I told her that i was head over heels for her, and she just thought of it as cute. Nothing changed between us at all. I found out a day later she had a boyfriend whom i'd never met (and never did.), so i knew things werent going anywhere with her. I still talked to her all the time and stuff though, and i told nobody but her how i felt. Not even my closest friends.

Now some many months later Sarah told one of her friends about me. I didnt really like this friend, and i didnt know that sarah had told her behind my back. Said friend, Ellen, confronted me about it, and I denied my infatuation - Ellen merely shrugged it off as 'whatever' and never brought it up again. I was surprised i didnt become the schools gossip after someone with such a big mouth finding out.

Now we skip forward another few months (about a year after my initial infatuation with Sarah.), and I'm falling for another girl called Joanna. I get my guts, ask her out (it really is easier the second time), and she said no. It was okay though, we were still friends. A week later she confessed to me that she had feelings for me too, and we started dating.

Joanna doesnt want to tell anyone about our relationship and makes me keep it a secret. I never got to see her in school, and if i did we had to pretend all was as it ever was, which killed me inside. However, Joanna had allowed me to tell my best friend, because he was trustworthy and could keep a secret. So I tell him, and he's cool about it. We tell each other this kind of stuff, so it was all pretty normal.

Four months later, one of my not-so-close friends finds out Alex knows that i'm dating someone. After I refuse to tell him who it is, and Alex does the same, he decides to use his fists and beat it out of Alex (It was nothing too bad, there were a couple of bruises on Alex's stomach, that's all.) - so Alex spills and the next week the whole school knew. At first, myself and Joanna expected the world to crash down on us - there werent many relationships in the school at this point - she was 14 and I was 13, so this was pretty big. But nobody even reacted. It seemed like relationships were just normal, even if said relationship involved a reject and some not popular but damned hot quiet girl.

I'm still with Joanna now, after three and a half years, she's my whole world.

But it just goes to show - if you tell people, even the girl herself, it really isnt so big an issue as it seems. I hope this gives you guys the courage to do what must be done. Now get out there and do it.

I appreciate your post very much. I'm one of those guys so, thank you for trying to gimme some courage.

Oh me? I like some girl that's very awesome and good looking and we talk quite goodly, and I dunno if she has a boyfriend already or not. But oh well. I'm /kinda/ trying.

[Zephyr]

I girl I had/have a relationship with changed her facebook status to single, she's on a two week holiday and her friends and I don't know shit about what happened.

[otters]

I girl I had/have a relationship with changed her facebook status to single, she's on a two week holiday and her friends and I don't know shit about what happened.

If she didn't have the ovaries-on-the-inside to end it with you face-to-face, good riddance.

[Rhekatou]

I girl I had/have a relationship ... and I don't know shit about what happened.

I don't feel comfortable posting the actual problems of my life on a forum, so I'll post this:

Yeah. Mine too. I know you're gonna give me shit about being only 14, but:
Her break-up message: (yes, it was over text. damn it.)

"I literally cant be friends with you... Your taking over me. You make me happy... thats not a good thing. Im sorry. Youre too... i cant explain it. I love you and then I hate you now im desperately in love with you. we cant be friends anymore."

She's scared (i think) because one girl got suspended by her parents when they found out she was fingered (idiot move, letting them find out). And her previous boyfriend did nothing but try to get into her pants.
I've never been overly sexual with her, all I've done was hug her at most, and this. She understands that and says she want to isolate herself. For me to delete her from my contacts.
This sucks. Bull. I'm not-so-popular at my school because of some idiots idea of a gay joke that caught on, so I don't have many friends that are girls. My parents despise all but 3 of my friends for no reason, and now this.
I'm not sure if she believes what she is saying, or if she actually doesn't like me and is just doing bull to get away from me. I don't think its the latter though.
Breaking up over text is the worst.


EDIT: She felt bad, and realized it wasn't bad at all. So far as I know, she's not all... creeped out... right now. We'll see tomorow.

[yungerkid]

My feelings for her surprise me. She is popular, and sassy, and totally girlish, yet in an attractive way. She's also three years younger than me. So she's totally out of my region of influence. But she is the best-looking female I have ever seen. And she is a wonderful person. Mostly that latter bit is what has incited my reaction to her. I have never respected another person my age more than I respect her. There are others that I hold in equal esteem, but they are all male. I know I'll probably never even get a chance to talk to her, but it is nevertheless something to work for. And my feelings for her aren't new either - I have liked her for three years now. It's only recently that I have seen her up close, and come to know her more personally (by observation). My position frustrates me in a silent way. I like her.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

She's... three years younger than me.

Is she within the bounds laid out by the "half-plus-seven" rule?

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

She's... three years younger than me.

Is she within the bounds laid out by the "half-plus-seven" rule?

According to yungerkid's profile, he's 16, so she can't be.

Yikes.
'fraid you're SOL 'til you're 20, yungerkid.

[SlappyMcGee]

I like girls who can be described as sassy.

[Tunco]

So there is this sexy girl who I love her very much, but I don't know if she knows about that. She is not that popular in school, but sure, she is so sexy.

She is so sexy.

[Pheidippides]

Oh my God, I /love/ the new thread title. <3

[SlappyMcGee]

Still, Amadeus, the point of this thread is to not be a ridiculous troll, and you have failed at that doublefold.

[Amadeus]

Oh no, that was /before/ the renaming. Now it's fair game.

[SlappyMcGee]

Oh no, that was /before/ the renaming. Now it's fair game.

I've renamed the thread and will be following the original quote by deleting bashing posts. (They were mostly mine.) Evidentially, Amadeus, this thread is not for you.

[otters]

I girl I had/have a relationship ... and I don't know shit about what happened.

"I literally cant be friends with you... Your taking over me. You make me happy... thats not a good thing. Im sorry. Youre too... i cant explain it. I love you and then I hate you now im desperately in love with you. we cant be friends anymore."

Sick bastard! How dare you make that woman happy!

[Destiny]

My feelings for her surprise me. She is popular, and sassy, and totally girlish, yet in an attractive way. She's also three years younger than me. So she's totally out of my region of influence. But she is the best-looking female I have ever seen. And she is a wonderful person. Mostly that latter bit is what has incited my reaction to her. I have never respected another person my age more than I respect her. There are others that I hold in equal esteem, but they are all male. I know I'll probably never even get a chance to talk to her, but it is nevertheless something to work for. And my feelings for her aren't new either - I have liked her for three years now. It's only recently that I have seen her up close, and come to know her more personally (by observation). My position frustrates me in a silent way. I like her.

Holy crap man, I TOLD you that you can feel! I'm really happy for you - not because you can never have her, that kinda sucks, but because you have opened up to yourself, and broken that icy robotic outlook on the world. Good job. On a personal level, you have just leapt.

[Zephyr]

I girl I had/have a relationship with changed her facebook status to single, she's on a two week holiday and her friends and I don't know shit about what happened.

So she comes back from her holiday, tells me not to worry and just changed her relationship status back.

???

[yungerkid]

Holy crap man, I TOLD you that you can feel! I'm really happy for you - not because you can never have her, that kinda sucks, but because you have opened up to yourself, and broken that icy robotic outlook on the world. Good job. On a personal level, you have just leapt.

Oh, I think you just misunderstood me before. My viewpoint is still the same. It is mechanical, but it also has a lyrical element to it. I have never denied that I can feel - although I wouldn't use such a basic word as "emotion" to describe it. I would remind you that I have liked her for the whole time I have known you. A will is powerless without raw cold machinery to support it. But every will must be able to feel in a human way. I am simply in my place, as always - wishing and calculating at the same time.

But anyway, I am going to try to work my way into her vicinity. Currently I have a severe lack of social skill, because I am not used to talking to people face-to-face. And it will be very difficult and/or awkward to talk to someone so far removed from my social circles. But I will try - it will be worth it to become her friend.

[Amadeus]

Find out why?