An Afternoon in Paris

[SlappyMcGee]

What should Mike "Phantom Menace" Whalon do next?

-800 word responses. No more, no less.
-Make sure each response is thematically consistent with the previous images.
-Everything must take place in the country of France. International travel is forbidden.

[29403]

Can we at least go to Corsica? :D

(Which is in France.)

[T3chno]

Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.

Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.
Phantom Menace meets the Genitals Frontenac and the Visionary Director of Wild Hogs with Hellmetallus.

800 words.

[SlappyMcGee]

What should Darth Maul do next?

[aids]

Eat a ham sandwich.

[Torex]

Hide that massive boner, for god's sake.

[SlappyMcGee]

-800 word responses. No more, no less.
-Make sure each response is thematically consistent with the previous images.
-Everything must take place in the country of France. International travel is forbidden.

[Mute Monk]

Firstly, since the sun (or other sun-like pictograph in the top half of the image, slightly to the right of the head of who I'm presuming is Darth Maul) appears to have genitals resembling those of a human female, I vote that Darth Maul (or rather, the portrait of the Darth Maul-like person) should insert his allegedly "massive boner" into the sun (or rather, sun-like image), and thus begin a sexual relationship with it. Following the consummation of this cosmic union, you should recite the following poem:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Except backwards. And in French. Yes, I want it in a speech bubble.

[otters~1]

I agree with the above--there hasn't been any sex yet, and there really needs to be some sex.

[SlappyMcGee]

[Mute Monk]

Win.

[otters~1]

I just saw "Steve Buscemi" and "motherfucker" and that was all I needed.

[Donfuy]

I would like you to look around and see (or observe, or even admire or concentrate (too pretentious?) or direct your eyes to) what's above you. Use the momentum to look down, and while you're at it, don't forget to zip your pants (oh, you should put your dick back into your pants, obviously before you zip up your pants), and think about how it has a zip where instead it could have three buttons, that would ensure not-so-comical situations in the public bathrooms, when you make goofy positions to close the pants (weird usage of words, but it might maybe work, I dunno). Your pants are blue, and so is the sky. The sky has white clouds, and so does your pants have white sperm. The clouds are soft and smooth, while your sperm is sticky and ugly. Interestingly enough, both are partly transparent (or maybe partly opaque, I can't decide). Anyway, back on track, while still looking down, you should not waste that looking down state, and look what material is what you're on top of made of. Also, remember to check if yo shoes are clean and the cords are all tied up. Before returning your head to the horizon-looking position, check if there isn't anything above your head, so that you don't need to go to the hospital much sooner than you'd think. When you're sure about it, go ahead and lift your head.

You're in the horizon-position.

You are now free.

What do you see? Mountains? Buildings? Cars? Motorbikes? Bikes? Wheels? Rubber? Atoms?

Nothing matters, but people. So say hi to some of the people that are probably around you. There's probably a black guy at the left of you, with an afro, blue eyes and white t-shir-- wait, why did you notice the black guy first? He's not even in front of you! Are you racist? - you think. What are you doing to your life? Where are your principles? Don't you remember what you've told your mom for so many years? Oh? You did! You're fucking rac-- enough paranoiac thinking. You noticed the black guy cause of his ridiculously high and elaborated afro. Nothing racist. There's a girl in front of you. She has some "just perfect" boobs. Hah! She has a white t-shirt! And no bra!

Enormous erection.
Enormous erection.
Enormous erection.

You stop to think what you're doing there. Why's everybody looking at me?
Have you killed someone?
Have you won something?
Have you even saved someone?

No.
You remember now.

You're a french Rock Star.

Enormous erection.

So that's why people are looking at you so expectantly. Wait, have you even stop to care about what your ears are "listening"? Applauds! You've just done a concert! A fucking big concert, that is.

People are waiting for you to say something! What will you say? Maybe it's some special occasion! You spot some messages in the crowd (messages written on those big ass papers I can't remember the name of them) saying "pick me".

You notice that only girls have those messages above their heads.


You do the most reasonable thing to do at the moment. You rub your crotch. Oh the itchy. Fuck that.

You turn to the guitarist and ask what the fuck should he do.

"Go ahead and just pick the best fucking girl out there!"

You have no doubts.
Enormous erection.
Enormous erection.

You pick the girl you had seen at first.
Enormous erection.

"THIS IS MY GIRL FROM NOW ON" you scream "AND I KNOW DECLARE THE CONCERT OVER AND DONE. BYE EVERYBODY AND FUCK YOU ALL" you shout.

You take your bitch to your room.

Enormous erection.

She has a red skirt. You kiss her and lift her skirt, searching for something. She has no panties.

Softness.
Enormous erection.

You lick *her* *censored* and *censored* her *censored. You stop when *censored* goes all *censored* *censored*. You *censored* too fast, but it's okay.

You wake up next morning. The girl is still at your side. You remember how soft her boobs were. Soft and well proportioned. Her ass was fucking good (or good fucking) and her lips were sooo delicious. She has green eyes, and she's blond. Her skin is in the midterm of a white chick and an ebony chick (awesome awesome) and her nose is pointy. Her hair is really long. You just love it. You pass your hands through her hair - that's enough for another enormous erection. She's just perfect.

Wait. You look at her face just for a moment.

"I know this girl."

From where do you know her? From highschool? From college? From work? It can't be!

And you just remembered why. And who's this girl.

You're 5 years old, and she's your mom.

[otters~1]

Oooooooh, Donfuy.