The "Real" N

[SlappyMcGee]

The "Real" N
by Jason J. Grenia

Recently, there have been a dozen changes in the forums, and it has resulted in a bit of a crossroads. A lot of mainstays are taking off for better places, and a lot of newbies are actually coming into their own. It's been a period of revelation, heartbreak, maybe even a bit of romance (We'll get to that in a bit.). Most of all, there has been a realization by everybody, with the recent announcement regarding Robotology, that most of us are not sure why we're still around in this strange community. A profound attachment to a bunch of people whom we barely like, and with this attachment that most have felt, there is a strong movement in the converse. A detachment that we can't really view in the context of real life other than con artists and criminals, and I wanted study that a bit, so SPOILERS AHEAD! Get ready for a nice ride.

There have been many instances of the phony Metanet in the past that have never seemed much important. TaffyTramp was six Hungarian dudes, or that BrittaniaWD didn't actually invent the Electric Car. But one of the first big surprise fakes was also one of the most emotionally connecting of the community. When Atramentis died, a lot of people said, well, shit. Maybe behind all of these adorable nicknames and 5AVEDs, there's real dudes, being real dudes, and occasionally, facing their mortality. Not that we all felt like that, but it was certainly a surprise to notice that one of your members/friends had died. So, imagine that a year has passed, and bam! It turns out to all be an elaborate prank. This is an uncomfortable situation. It wasn't a particularly funny prank, nor a well constructed one. Everybody cared that he was dead, but few really cared to verify it. We were not duped so much as complacently sad; like being told your hamster had died and then noticing the hamster still in its cage. It was the first big betrayal of our trust, but it wasn't that we held great trust in Atramentis. We just assumed that the kid behind the computer chair was gone, and instead, he was hiding behind it.

The trust placed in the individual of the Metanet community is the same trust placed in the individual of society. Not to be perfect, or even awesome, but to try your best to bring what you can to, in the case of the forums, a strictly social dynamic. So, when somebody deceives you on the internet, it is as if somebody deceived you on real life, but a bit different. A good worker in real life, or somebody who holds the elevator for you has benefit outside of their social elements, whereas the forums are a strictly social experience. Can a person redeem themselves for the lies they've told to us if all they can give us is more social interaction?

There have been moments where TheRealN forums have overextended its position as an internet forum and had real life implications. There are a dozen of these, and while not particularly relevant to the subject at hand, they all serve to be mentioned for a specific point. I have gotten AF to fail a paper because I knew his name and address. Blizz has a girlfriend and roommate entirely through this community (Ranny and blue_tetris, respectively and irrespectively), moving and changing his entire life. Same with sidke and LittleViking. How about when real life friends join our forums out of curiosity? There are a lot of instances where life-changing decisions were made on the trust we had for other dudes around here, long time friends, however digitized, and if that trust is not communally held to be sacred, then what does that mean for our real lives?

Which brings me to the two rather large revelations of my post, and the most troubling of the entire damn thing. I'll start with the one that seems more important, but has fewer consequences. blue_tetris, Dave Cassandra Boutwell, long-time administrator, nucleus of the community for years, largely thought to be one of the funniest dudes on the internet, and if you disagreed, fuck off, McP3000, and somebody who a lot of people look to for guidance, something I'm sure he doesn't even understand. And here's a guy we knew relatively a bunch about. I knew him for three years-ish, and I continue to hang out with the dude. Over that time, I picked up that he liked black women, particularly longtime girlfriend Suzy, his parents were dead, he had one sister and a dead brother, he graduated from University in Linguistics, he was born in 1979, and he had several jobs over our tenure of friendship, including a job that provided him with a golden parachute upon which he lived. The entire previous sentence is false.

I don't mean to go too far into the details of Dave's actual life, suffice it to say that most of the "facts" that we know about Sr. Boutwell are, in fact, fiction. Yeah, this is surprising, a lie of Boutwellian proportions. But the question at hand is, why is this the one that has fewer consequences? Dave is, ostensibly, the hero of the community, and he's done that while lying to us for years. So, why isn't this a big deal, at least for me? Because all of those lies actually seemed devised to enhance the social aspects of Dave's persona. None of them really change what I like about Dave, he's still a funny, brilliant gamemaker who can tell a joke longer than he can make love. If anything, his lies were a platform for a lot of his humor, and if it let Dave make us laugh, then what is the issue? Betrayal aside, Dave telling us his sister was a lesbian who played World of Warcraft professionally in Tokyo may be the best thing that ever happened to this community.

And then there is the most recent development, which I believe has some mysterious social ramifications I've yet to decipher. Dave came to me and Hooz and LV and told us this shit on his terms, but this next guy got discovered by the community and will be confronted soon, by this writing. Borealis is a musical legend to this community, always making great recommendations and having a great bit of knowledge, and also having a lot of experience with bands that we knew. Noctambulant, his metal band, supposedly toured a bunch back in the day. Why don't we have any songs, Dave 2.0? Well, he's always had a hundred coming up the pipeline. He actually posted one for us the other day, and Tanner noticed that it wasn't a new Borealis, but in fact, something somebody else had done ages ago. Well, that would probably be enough, except that "Dave" isn't a Dave at all, nor does he live in Italy with his wife, also he's nineteen, named Grant Mackay and he lives in Wales. Or, if you go to another forum, he's Chris, the 36 year old German math prodigy. Grant Mackay could be as fake as Dave, but it seems to be the most consistent personality, the one he uses on last.fm and Twitter and Facebook. Are we sure? Yeah, we're sure. A year ago, Grant's twitter account talked about how much he loved the Italian language. He studies that language at his university in Wales right now - the same university from which he posts on these forums, according to his IP. Whenever Bobo uses a /np script in IRC, the same song is playing on Grant's last.fm.

So, the question then, is how does this affect us? If all of that shit about Borealis is bullshit, what do we really know about Borealis? Borealis was more defined by what we knew about him then about the experiences we had with him, and it worries me a bunch if our communal trust can be broken to not only create a history that makes us "cool", but a personality that we know is false.

So, yeah. Fuck you guys.

[otters~1]

...

Um.

Yeah.

Speechless with confusion and betrayal?

[Spawn of Yanni]

:(

[Skyling]

I think one thing that we may have all forgotten is that Metanet is still part of the internet.

[unoriginal name]

How dastardly. :(

[Kablizzy]

[15:45] <Ka|Busy> Slaps. It's time for Pony Parade. New forums. Pony Parade. Now.
[15:45] <Ka|Busy> I'll find the pony images.
[15:46] <penumbrapaw> :/
[15:46] <penumbrapaw> I vote for a new forum fad.
[15:46] <Destiny> woah
[15:46] <Destiny> you look like my computing teacher, slaps
[15:46] <SlappyMcGee> Hahaha.
[15:46] <Donfuy> More people should revelate themselves! Like Yahoozy. No way he can be that sexy /and/ talk like that.
[15:46] <Ka|Busy> No, fuck this shit. Fuck all of your lying bullshit. You get ponies. Fake people get ponies.
[15:46] <SlappyMcGee> HOYL SHITY
[15:46] <Donfuy> OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[15:46] <Yanni> PHONIES GET PONIES
[15:46] <Yanni> PHONIES GET PONIES
[15:46] <Ka|Busy> HUayfgvayuhahaha
[15:46] <SlappyMcGee> THEW PHONIE PARADE

Fuck all of you. It's not Internet. It's *Meta*net. I even said so in someone's signature.

[yahoozy]

Well, hm. I'm certainly a bit hurt by the Borealis situation, mostly because his "persona" often only went-so-far as his "personal life," which I can only assume was an effect of not having an interest in developing a new personality to fit his alternate character. This guy was an actual influence in my life, particularly my music library, to which he was probably the sole contributor. Disappointing, and I can't help but feeling so.

That said, I can honestly say that these two Daves, in spite of their disguises, probably had two of the biggest hands in making Metanet the kind of community it is, in that they sparked an interest in the personal aspect in it. That alone makes it hurt to discover that they're such impersonal beings. Yes, an actual hurt.

[rocket_thumped]

I think one thing that we may have all forgotten is that Metanet is still part of the internet.

What we forgot, is that Metanet and the internet is real life. We take things as absolutes because we don't have face to face knowledge of the people we hang out with. But most of all, people lie in real life too, especially to make themselves look more cool.

[Leaff]

;_;

[Donfuy]

Aww. I'd like to give emphasis to what Kablizzy said though!

*Metametameta* net!

[Tunco]

What you guys don't seem to be getting though that this is /not/ a fucking joke.

[乳头的早餐谷物]

I thought Dave (blue_tetris) was pretty up-front about not telling the truth about his life. Or maybe that was just about his name being false. Either way, he is or was an inherently deceptive guy, whereas Borealis seemed very much on the up-and-up (except for the little things that didn't check out and which eventually brought his whole house of cards tumbling down).

EDIT: CONFRONTATION!

(disappoints.)

Code: Select all

* Borealis ([email protected]) has joined #n
<penumbrapaw> Ah.
<Ka|Busy> Oh, boy.
<gloomp> Here we go.
<Ka|Busy> I'm outta here. Shit, meet fan. Fan, shit. Have fun, kids.
* toasters grabs my drama hat
<bok_choy> Hey, Grant.
<bok_choy> (The dramatic effect of this is based on you not being on the forums yet.)
<bok_choy> Was that just a coincidence? Perhaps I wasn't talking to you. Perhaps there's someone else here with the same name, studying langauges at Swansea University.
<bok_choy> Maybe you're right. I might have been talking to someone else entirely--Chris from Bremen, perhaps, or Kjetil from Iceland.
<Borealis> Mmm, indeed.
* Borealis has quit (Quit: Leaving)

[epigone]

You can create any sort of persona you want on the internet. In all likelihood (with the obvious exceptions above), you will never meet someone from the internet, nor will they ever learn more about you other than what you tell them. Why would you look deeper than surface level all the while knowing that 99% of what is down there isn't real anyway? If you're hurt by any of the lies, falsehoods, myths, fables, call them what you will, it's only your own naïveté that's to blame. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just going to go on enjoying ourselves without caring about the finer details.

[Spawn of Yanni]

If you're hurt by any of the lies, falsehoods, myths, fables, call them what you will, it's only your own naïveté that's to blame. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just going to go on enjoying ourselves without caring about the finer details.

That's a nice little speech, but it means jack shit. I don't know why you take pride in not giving a damn about people who you've been talking to for four odd years.

Just because you have the privilege of not being all that connected to this community does not mean you have the authority to call others naïve for being so.

[EdoI]

Am I the only one here thinking you're taking forumers too seriously? Loosen up dude, we're here to relax and have fun. Not to care whether did someone give his real name, bank account, address, or whatever you expected here.

[yahoozy]

Hey, guys. Grandma died a few days ago. Good thing I wasn't close to her like my idiot, naive family members. Excuse me while I sip this delicious apple martini to the sounds of my mother wailing like a child.

[Kablizzy]

You can create any sort of persona you want on the internet. In all likelihood (with the obvious exceptions above), you will never meet someone from the internet, nor will they ever learn more about you other than what you tell them. Why would you look deeper than surface level all the while knowing that 99% of what is down there isn't real anyway? If you're hurt by any of the lies, falsehoods, myths, fables, call them what you will, it's only your own naïveté that's to blame. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just going to go on enjoying ourselves without caring about the finer details.

Kiss my black ass, kid.

[SlappyMcGee]

Your new sig is fucking tits, Blizz.

[Pheidippides]

Unfortunately, I was never more than fellow forumers with either of them, so it's hard for me to put myself in the shoes of those who were on closer terms. I guess I have no pie on this one. It was my signature, though, Blizz. :)

[otters~1]

He was a hella mapper.

Just sayin'.

[Rhekatou]

At least I know where I stand and am relatively transparent with you guys. *smug expression*

But yeah, don't pull that bull.

[a happy song]

I'm still 29 in March. Is there anyone left older than me?

Fucking kids...

[smartalco]

I like Dave (b_t) because he is an entertaining guy to hang around (virtually). I didn't know almost any of that real-life stuff.
Similarly, I liked Dave (Borealis), because he had an awesome beard. Which is why I don't like him anymore, his beard is fake. :(

I don't hang around here because I'm involved with you guys personally, or because Dave has a lesbian sister who plays WoW. This isn't to say I wouldn't be sad if you all died, or be a little happier if you all won ten thousand dollars (actually, if it was everyone here but me, I might be a little sad). I hang around because this is a fun group of people to chat/argue/joke with.

I think that is what you are all forgetting. This community isn't awesome because of the secret lives we lead behind the username, this community is awesome because of what we reveal of our selves to it, whether that be real or not.

[Kablizzy]

I like Dave (b_t) because he is an entertaining guy to hang around (virtually). I didn't know almost any of that real-life stuff.
Similarly, I liked Dave (Borealis), because he had an awesome beard. Which is why I don't like him anymore, his beard is fake. :(

I don't hang around here because I'm involved with you guys personally, or because Dave has a lesbian sister who plays WoW. This isn't to say I wouldn't be sad if you all died, or be a little happier if you all won ten thousand dollars (actually, if it was everyone here but me, I might be a little sad). I hang around because this is a fun group of people to chat/argue/joke with.

I think that is what you are all forgetting. This community isn't awesome because of the secret lives we lead behind the username, this community is awesome because of what we reveal of our selves to it, whether that be real or not.

I don't think you understand. Everyone who was anyone here is complete bullshit. The entire community is a clever ruse concocted in a basement. v1.5 never happened. Robotology is canceled. Egg on Lenny's face never happened. It's egg on *Metanet's* face.

[Rhekatou]

The entire community is a clever ruse concocted in a basement.

Now I feel like I can't trust anyone here :'(


Say, while we're in clever ruse mode, and all decietingly jokeful, make me an admin, will ya?