999_Springs wrote:
instructions on preparation of human brains for consumption:
preheat oven to 200c/400f/gas mark 6
bake on middle shelf for 15 minutes (*)
add 5 minutes for multiple brains
if oven is unavailable then cooking over an open fire will do too
(*) this is to destroy the enzymes that are involved in active brain mechanisms; so if the instructions are followed properly, whether or not they actually lower your iq (as you claim) or have any other side-effects is irrelevant. also enhances flavour. in northern antarctica (why don't you just say outer antarctica?) the climate is too cold to allow for open fires and ovens are not commonplace so they have to eat them raw which is really detrimental for your health for obvious reasons which you never even bothered to research before diving right into it
the whole point of this is that there is no doubting my motivation. i fully understand your reluctance to comply, but i don't see why you keep putting up a fight whch obviously won't work if you don't even research beforehand. i have just these two questions for you:
1. How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?
2. You're playing poker with a tiger, a gorilla, and a cactus. You're holding big slick in clubs, you 3-bet preflop and the tiger and cactus both call. The flop is 6-10-4 of spades. The tiger bets 3x pot while humming Pachelbel's Canon. The cactus folds. Do you fold, call, raise, all-in, or run screaming?
Dear friend,
I wonder how much longer this can go on.
As to your method for cooking brains, I'm afraid you're under-cooking them. The human brain is composed of millions of different cells, with each having an underlying similarity - they contain water. In order for the brain to be juicy upon consumption, you need to burst each of those cells (bar those in the outer regions). Water expands as it is heated, and each cell has an average cell-wall density of 1.5ø. Hence, you'll need to have the oven heated to at least 250c for about 30-45mins. After this, you may want to serve with a small amount of salt, which keeps the water in the brain as a whole.
To your (*), I say this:
Yes, indeed I
did do my research, but I may have been looking at out-dated resources, for which I apologise. You see, I was once an expert on matters concerning the human brain, but - alas - those days are long gone...
1) That's a nice limerick you've got there, but what 'boards' are we talking about exactly? Please explain further.
2) First of all, what does the gorilla do? On this query I deduct the following: The gorilla is out of the game, therefore he need not be considered. Likewise, the cactus has folded, so I need only think about the tiger. Naturally, tigers have a very good poker face, but unfortunately, in this case, he has given himself away - Pachelbel's canon, psychologically speaking, can only imply that he is bluffing, and hopes for me to fold (the tiger is unaware of what he has done here, for the humming was of nigh-on unconscious thought). Hence, I conclude that I shall raise (regardless of my hand), forcing the tiger to fold, allowing me to win the game. Where are my winnings?