An Admission of Sins.

[SlappyMcGee]

Forgive me, forum, for I hath sinned.

Weeks ago, I was sitting around my home, thinking up a variety of plots that I could use to meddle with fellow forumers. Already was I enacting The Dark Knight caper, a deliriously rich plot to defame astheoceansblue and prove him for the sham-wife/pirate that he is. However, I wanted more.

Years ago, a young hopeful boy by the name of AF arrived on Ventrilo. Normally, I don't go in for these sorts of things, but AF was different. He had some sort of angelic purity to him, like a bright light waving to all those who ask of it.

I decided that, in all of my blackheart, I would corrupt this boy. It would take time and effort, but I had the resources to devote to it.

It took months of planning, but I finally devised a plan. I would have all of his friend's throw snowballs at him one day while he leaves his house to go to the bus. Genius, I know, and perhaps not particularly cruel, but I was young, and in my youthful arrogance, I thought that any slight against him might reveal his true self: a man without dignity.

A wrench was thrown into this plan when no snow fell in Oregon.

However, I recouped. I managed to get a hold of the same friends and provide them with new ammunition; eggs that had spoiled on their way through Canadian Postage. This plan fell apart again, however, by a brief lack of Ventrilo. What good would the demolition of a boy's soul be if I could not experience it? I called the plan off.

Quite recently, Ventrilo was returned to me. Recently refers to this last year, but even a year seems so long when you are a man in my shape. I grew close to AF, or so he thought; it was, in fact, a guise. I learned his deepest fears and weaknesses. And I attempted to expose them. Take my first try:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgWlm3I9w9I

Knowing that he hated The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, and knowing that he seeked my approval, I assembled this video. I thought for a moment he might crack, but he actually laughed! The boy was stronger than I thought. I returned to my drawing board, and continued to plan.

However, recently, I have succeeded. I have broken the unbreakable boy. A week ago; a beacon of light. This week; without school, grounded for two months, and practically homeless. Allow me to describe to you my plan in detail so that you may marvel at my evil, and at the same time, allow me some atonement for my bad deeds.

AF began to complain about a book report he had do, on a book 1984 by George Orwell. One of my favorites, although I`ve never made it all the way through. I truly enjoy the utopian society displayed within its tomes. AF, however, did not want to read it. He wanted to play marvelous games of the imagination. I realized that this was my opportunity.

AF originally wanted to accept an F on his project, but I persuaded him otherwise. I alerted him of sources where he could get all of the information he needed in a condensed form. I showed him other boy's reports and SPARKNOTES. He gobbled them up adamantly. He wanted very much to impress his peers and his parents with this grade.

AF, however, was careful. He never copied word-for-word, using only his interpretation. Sometimes, however, he would ask for help constructing sentences. This is where I struck. I would insert sentences that I knew could be found on other sources such as the very sparknotes paper in his hands so that he would be plagirising.

However, that could not be enough. I needed to make sure he felt punishment for this injustice.

Knowing he was an adamant horse rider, I cross-referenced all of the high school equestrian teams in Oregon with top riders whose initials were "AF". I came across the boy, of a high school I won't mention here, because there is no need; he has been expelled.

I went on their website, and realized that I didn't know the name of this particular teacher. Rather than trying to mass email the entire school, I accessed the library's records. I remembered him saying the whole class took out 1984, so I merely looked up which Languages teacher had loaned out 20-40 copies of 1984. I discovered our culprit. Then it was just a matter of sending off a form letter:

"Regarding AF:

You should know that Adrian spark-noted his presentation on 1984, and stole half of another guy's report. Frankly, I couldn't stand idly by knowing this information.

I trust that you will look into the situation, and deal with it appropriately."

And all I have to say is this:

Suck it, bitch.

http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scri ... cript.html

[Tanner]

Hi! We love you! We have you tattooed on our chests! Look!

[crescor]

Is that you in that movie?

[乳头的早餐谷物]

Anyone who hates The Hobbit deserves to be expelled.

[crescor]

I don't like Tolkiens books either. They are way too boring.
Read Umberto Eco, muchos fun

[SlappyMcGee]

Is that you in that movie?

Yes. :)

(I hadn't showered for vile effect before I recorded the video.)

[PALEMOON]

cool story, bro

[Eiturlyf]

Ew, Metallica.

[SlappyMcGee]

Ew, Metallica.

Sure, it would have to be the day I'm not wearing my Neutral Milk shirt.

Hater.

[scythe]

Forgive me, forum, for I hath sinned.

Oh come on! That's a terrible intro.
You needed, like:

At last!
The torch-song no-one ever sings! The curfew chorus line!
The comedy divine! The bulging eyes of puppets, strangled by their strings.
There's thrills and chills and girls galore, there's sing-songs and surprises!
There's something here for everyone, reserve your seat today!

Investigating that leads to semi-nsfw content, by the way.

[T3chno]

you're my role model now

[a happy song]

Jesus has always loved you, only now he knows you're hilarious too!

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

How dastardly.

[Animator]

I love you. You're my new role model.

[Rikaninja]

What can I say? Not much really apart from...







U R MY NEW ROLE MODEL!

[origami_alligator]

"No harassing or stalking other members, either openly on the forums or by PMs."

Regardless of your social status in this community, I believe you should be banned indefinitely.

[NicNac14]

Pawz.. give him a break..
His Dastardly story was evil.. but i doubt anybody will take offence.. if they do, then ban him or something...
I don't care.. He is the evilest evil funny person I've ever met...
wohoo!!
Free this democratic world of Red and Blue flying Chinese PIGS...!!?!!1!!11

[AF]

Man, what the hell did you smoke? I clearly took offense from it, considering I was the target, and what the hell are you talking about with these red and blue pigs?

Man, I don't understand what the forums are coming to, after reading that post.

[Condog]

"No harassing or stalking other members, either openly on the forums or by PMs."

Regardless of your social status in this community, I believe you should be banned indefinitely.

I honestly can't tell whether you are joking or not. If anything, you sound too sincere.

[blue_tetris]

We don't act within the "community" when we do these things. We are friends beyond this place.

Friends who can fuck with each other's lives.

[Lenny]

Well, from my understanding of this situation, I think what you did is terrible.

I'd go against a permanent ban, however a temporary one wouldn't be bad, I think. Also, it would seem that as a moderator, a supposed "leader" of the forums, you were setting a very bad example, and so I would have your moderator status revoked.

[blue_tetris]

Well, from my understanding of this situation, I think what you did is terrible.

I'd go against a permanent ban, however a temporary one wouldn't be bad, I think. Also, it would seem that as a moderator, a supposed "leader" of the forums, you were setting a very bad example, and so I would have your moderator status revoked.

Wahahaha! His moderator status was assigned well after this occured and was a joke. I just didn't get around to removing it. Slappy doesn't use the forums much. AF uses the forums less. Removing him from the forums because he had some interaction with a friend of his in a different medium is ridiculous. If Blizz confessed to sexing up Condog in the Commonwealth of Colorado, well beyond the confines of this community, he'd be immune from any forum retaliation.

Calling Slaps a dildo for doing this is fine. Saying it warrants a ban is spiteful.

[SlappyMcGee]

Southpaw is just scared because he knows I have access to information in Oregon.

lols. I did this outside of the forum and -decided- to let you guys know about it, for kicks and all. Let me give you another example:

If a guy rapes some chick, and then posts really, like, graphic pictures of it on the "Graphic Pictures of you Raping Girls" topic on Metanet, and then you guys go and find out that the other girl had visited Metanet, you don't ban the dude. You send him to jail for raping girls, sure, but he was just trying to make you part of his life.

You see, now? Do you understand? I -am- that rapist.



Metaphorically.

[Condog]

If Blizz confessed to sexing up Condog in the Commonwealth of Colorado, well beyond the confines of this community, he'd be immune from any forum retaliation.

If only, man. If only...