Quick Food Recipes
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- Ego Lancer
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(don't be a tool and take this so literally that you post instructions on how to buy the products needed or slice an apple or whatever, but) be very detailed about what to do, assume most of us know next to nothing about cooking
Finally, next to NOTHING IS TOO SIMPLE
There are many things that i'm sure i -should- of known about, but didn't until recently that i've learnt cooking wise. so don't leave anything out on that basis.
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OKAY my little 'recipe' to start things off:
Okay, this is bloody simple, but i like it, and it's great if you need a meal and don't have much time, or are just too lazy:
Tuna & Noodles
THINGS NEEDED: can of tuna, noodles
TIME TO MAKE: about 5 mins
INSTUCTIONS:
1. fill up a pan with water, fire up the stove and heat up the pan
2. When water boils (bubbling) throw in the noodles
3. When the noodles are soft, use a pour into a sieve over the sink.
4. put into a bowl, put the tuna on top and mix it around
(optional)
5. put other stuff, i'm pretty happy with it being nice and simple like this, but you others might wanna throw in some more
eat and enjoy

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- The maximum possible score in one turn at darts.
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1. Put an English Muffin in your toaster for about the same length you would a piece of toast.
2. Heat up a sausage disk in your microwave, or toaster if possible. My preference is Morning Star sausage disks.
3. Once both are done, put the disk onto the bottom English Muffin.
4. Put a slice of cheese on top of the disk.
5. Put the top English Muffin on the food item.
6. Eat and enjoy.
The English Muffin can be replaced with a slices of toast, or a bagel.

- Depressing
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Add a fried egg to that and you got yourself a Sausage and Egg McMuffin.Axonn wrote:Cheese and Sausage Sandwich.
Chicken Burrito
1. Get yourself some frozen chicken fingers and place them in the oven. (Heat and time will vary. Instructions on the bag.)
2. Gather a tortilla shell and your choice of toppings. I enjoy cheese, lettuce and salsa.
3. After the chicken fingers are finished cooking, combine everything Voltron-style and enjoy.
P.S. I love this topic.

'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak
- Moderator
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i use this a lot when there's too many leftovers in the fridge. it's delicious.
also if you choose to make this, keep in mind i'm kind of a terrible cook and i think that slightly burned food adds to the flavor. So, just use this as a guideline :)
TOOLS:
A Wok.
A metal Spatula or something like that.
REQUIRED FOOD:
several cups of rice, already cooked. (leftover rice is great)
Hoisin Sauce // Oyster Sauce // Teriyaki Sauce // any other sauce you have.
1 Onion, sliced
1 Bell Pepper, sliced
2 Carrots, sliced
OPTIONAL FOOD:
basically anything you can find in your house that is edible.
NORMAL PERSON DIRECTIONS:
place the Wok on a medium heat burner.
Add a little Olive Oil to prevent sticking.
add the Onion, the Pepper, and the Carrots.
add all your optional foods (this is recommended for maximum tastiness)
cook for 2-3 minutes, stirring occasionally to heat everything
add the sauce, stir a lot to get it distributed evenly.
cook for another 4-6 minutes
PALEMOON DIRECTIONS
place Wok on medium heat burner.
add a little Olive Oil
add the Required Ingredients
add everything edible in the house
add sauce, stir.
cook until rice burns and sticks to pan.
devour.
either way, this is a easy way to get rid of surplus food. i recommend it.
- Subterranean Engineer
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Ingredients:
Those cut up pieces of pre-cooked chicken
Chopped Onion
Diced Tomato
Pepper, and lots of it
A pinch of Sazon Goya
A bit of Garlic Powder
Italian Herbs (Oregano, Basil, Blah)
A bit of salt
Italian Dressing
Some Olive oil
1 or 2 sliced 'shrooms (the 1-up kind are nice).
2 or 3 slices of Whole Wheat Bread
Some Mayonnaise
Some Pesto (that green stuff)
Directions:
1. Get out a nice frying pan.
2. Place it over an open clay oven/stove.
3. Slap a bit of Olive Oil onto it. A bit.
4. Add onions. Wait a few minutes, until they are almost nearly brown.
5. Add chicken and a lot of Italian Dressing.
6. Throw in the Garlic Powder, Italian Herbs, Pepper, and Sazon Goya.
7. Now chuck in some of those tomatoes and mushrooms.
8. Add salt and turn the heat down. Cover pan for a few minutes.
9. Once the stuff is cooked, put it in a bowl or something and put the (optional: toasted) bread in the pan to add flavor to one side.
10. Mix Pesto and Mayonnaise and slather on bread.
11. Slap the stuff you just cooked onto the bread.
12. Place on plate/dish/bowl/basket/laptop.
13. Messily enjoy.
:D
- Boeing Boeing Bone!
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Things you'll need:
2 teaspoons of vanilla
0-7 teaspoons of sugar
1 cup of milk
A lot of salt
A lot of ice
Large ziplock bag
Small ziplock bag
Steps:
1. Add vanilla, sugar, and milk into small ziplock bag, and lock tightly. Shake well, then make it air tight (take as much air out of the bag as possible.
2. Fill large ziplock bag 1/3 way with ice. Cover the top layer of ice with salt. Lock bag tightly.
3. Place small ziplock bag (air tightened) into large ziplock bag. Shake in back and forth motion for 10 minutes.
4. Take small ziplock bag out of large ziplock bag. Take Ice Cream out of bag, pour in bowl, add toppings. Enjoy.
WARNING: Large ziplock bag may blow or leak. Don't shake too violently, nor shake it too lightly.
WARNING 2: The less air tight your small ziplock bag is, the more salty it will taste. Tighten AMAP (As much as possible).

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- Depressing
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'rret donc d'niaser 'vec mon sirop d'erable, calis, si j't'r'vois icitte j'pellerais la police, tu l'veras l'criss de poutine de cul t'auras en prison, tabarnak
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you will need: crackers, peanut butter, nutella, knife.
Put peanut butter on crackers using knife, put nutella on peanut butter using knife.
Enjoy.
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- Antagonistic Fencesitter
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one thing that i think would be wonderful but haven't tried yet:
ingredients: watermelon, beef/pork/chicken/ham, yogurt (optional), green beans, peas, lettuce, water.
mix all ingredients, put in blender, blend until it forms a homogeneous mixture. enjoy. vary the ingredient ratios to adjust taste.
- Ice Cold
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butter 2 peices bread (white tastes best)
put 1-2 peices american cheese on NON-BUTTERED SIDE of one of the peices of bread
put top peice on butterd side up
put on pan until golden brown
flip
wait until this side is golden brown
put on plate
put in mouth
chew
swallow
drink milk
enjoy!
break graham cracker in half
put 2 blocks of a chocolate bar (the hershey ones)
marshmellow(whip)
top graham cracker
toast/microwave (in toaster oven....not pop up toaster if your that stupid)
put in mouth
chew

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- Doublemember
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ingredients:
about 3 eggs,
and anything else, preferably:
onion or pepper type foods,
other vegetables, also chopped, like broccoli bits or string beans or whatever,
ham type foods,
chicken, sausage, or other meats,
salmon, smoked or cooked,
cheese, lots,
probably just about anything else that can be broken into small bits.
1. Crack eggs into bowl.
2. Prepare pan with oil or butter. (rub it around)
3. Gather ingredients. Important! do this before you start cooking.
4. whisk eggs a bunch with fork, at least until the consistency is mostly smooth, then pour into pan.
5. cook a bit while whisking the top of the mixture around. allow the bottom to cook without tearing.
6. add any tasty bits you found. cheese can be grated or just chopped off in chunks.
7. cook a bit more, then, when the bottom of the omelette is quite solid, and the top not too runny, flip one side of the omelette over. (This is the only hard step, but it really isn't that important. It tastes just fine even if you completely botch this.)
8. cook until it is no longer runny, or stop when it is as runny as you like.
9. Enjoy with toast, butter, salt, and whatever else you like!
10. Bonus points for eating it in a tortilla.
Alternatively, you can make this into scrambled eggs by whisking the whole mixture without letting the bottom settle after step 4. this is easier but the end result not as satisfying, i find. For those who prefer runny eggs though, it might actually end up being more to your liking, as the eggs do not need to solidify as much in this process. Also, easier to eat in tortilla. Oh! And this way requires salsa. Then you have a proper breakfast burrito.
BTW: internet says milk can be nice. Also, try adding flavoring before cooking eggs, like salt/pepper or someut you like.
- Walking on Broken Glass
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ingredients:
beans (preferably refried)
cheese (any type works, amounts vary on how much you like cheese)
tortilla
egg (one per one)
salsa (optional)
hot sauce (optional)
tools:
pan
microwave
spatula
stove
microwave safe bowl
microwave safe plate
instructions:
[1]start heating up pan
[2]put the beans, cheese, hot sauce (if your using it) into a small microwave-safe bowl
[3]microwave from 30 seconds to 1.5 (1:30) minutes
[4]during this time, if the pan is hot, if you use cooking spray, oil spray, non-stick spray (whatever it's called) spray some into pan. if you use butter, now is the time to use it.
[5]when done, take beans out of microwave and stir
[6]start cooking egg, it can be over anything, it could even technically be scrambled
[7]put tortilla on plate, then put beans, hot sauce and cheese ont tortilla, do all this during the eggs being cooked
[8]sprinkle some water on tortilla where there isn't bean mixture, this is to keep it from going stale in the microwave
[9]microwave for 30 seconds
[10]add egg and salsa and enjoy
notes and tips:
the bean mixture can work for other thing too, especially bean and cheese burritos
whenever microwaving tortillas, it is reccomended that you sprinkle some water on it, only a little
have more eggs/everything for making multiple ones
this may seem hard, but it is not very hard. I am only 11 and I do this all the time
if you don't like mexican food, you may still like this
I hand-typed all of this, so it is not copyrighted
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
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- Yet Another Harshad
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Ingredients:
Anykind of breakfast foods you can find
Preferably Eggs, Hashbrowns, Pancakes, Sausages, Waffles, Bread, that kind of stuff
Procedure
Find a way to put them all together (Blender, Pie, Sandwich, etc.)
Then, you eat it. It actually tastes good despite the name


- Walking on Broken Glass
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Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
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William Shakespeare
- Subterranean Engineer
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Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
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- Odd
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1 cup vegetable broth or Progresso chicken broth (from 32-oz carton)
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 tablespoons oyster sauce
1/4 teaspoon red pepper sauce
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 bag (1 lb) frozen snap peas, carrots, onions and mushrooms
2 1/2 cups coleslaw mix
4 cups chow mein noodles
1. Mix broth, cornstarch, oyster sauce and pepper sauce; set aside.
2. Heat oil in 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Cook garlic and frozen vegetables in oil about 5 minutes, stirring frequently, until vegetables are crisp-tender.
3. Stir in coleslaw mix and broth mixture. Cook and stir 1 1/2 minutes. Serve over noodles.

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- Lifer
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Taco Ring:
Items
2 packs Croissant rolls
1 pound ground beef
1 packet taco seasoning
shredded cheddar cheese
skillet
circular baking stone, or something you can cook a pizza in the oven on
Any toppings you would normally put on a taco
Directions
Begin by browning your ground beef in the skillet on the stove at about medium. Make sure that you are stirring the beef around fairly often so it doesn't stick and burn. You know the beef is browned well when it turns brown (duh!) and becomes crumbly and has no large chunks left. Drain the grease, and return to the skillet. I do this by taking a cereal bowl and putting a couple paper towels in the bottom of it, dumping the meat in, then pressing down with a couple more paper towels on top. Add the taco seasoning with just enough water to let the seasoning get fully mixed into the meat, and keep the burner on to boil off all the water. When all the water is gone, add enough shredded cheese to the beef to get it to stick together when its stirred in.
On your baking stone or equivalent item, lay out the two packs of croissant rolls indiviually in a circle, with the points toward the center. Place 1 tablespoon of the taco beef/cheese mixture in the center of each croissant, and roll the croissant to cover up the meat. When all the rolls are filled this way, place in the oven at 350 Farenheit (don't know what that is in Celsius, sorry), and bake for the time said on the croissant packaging.
When done cooking, take out and let cool for a few minutes. Dish out onto plates, and add your favorite taco toppings (salsa, cheese, lettuce, sour cream, etc) and enjoy!
Feta burgers
Ok, that first one was the hardest of the three I'm gonna do. This one is seriously simple.
Items
1 pound ground beef
2/3 cup (4 ounces) feta cheese (can probably get this in one package size)
1 teaspoon oregano
Directions
Mix the beef, feta, and oregano together. You'll probably need a mixing bowl or machine to do this. Once its pretty well mixed, form the mixture into patties like normal for making hamburgers. Place on grill, and enjoy! You'll want to grill for an extra minute or two because the cheese inside makes them cook slightly slower, so for those that don't know, figure about 4.5 minutes per side for an average (1/4 to 1/3 pound) burger.
Dump Cake
After having either of the two meals above, you're gonna want a dessert, right? Here's where the dump cake comes into play, and it tastes a lot better than it may sound.
Items
1 can diced pineapple
1 can cherry pie filling
1 stick butter
1 package yellow cake mix
Shredded cocunut
Pecan/Walnut pieces
9x13 inch baking pan
Directions
In the bottom of the baking pan, spread the pineapple and cherry pie filling around pretty evenly. On top of that, place the cocunut (optional step). Next, empty the bag of cake mix on top of everything else, and spread around until its even. Take the stick of butter and slice it up so it fairly well covers most of the cake mix. Spread the walnuts or pecans or any nut of your choice on top (also optional, especially for those allergic to nuts). Place in a preheated 350 degree oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until the cake mix on top looks done. Take out, and let cool for a while.
I think this tastes best when warm out of the oven, and with vanilla ice cream on top.
[16:24] <@golfkid> I'm pretty sure I will literally scream if I die on the last column of 78-4 at this point
[16:25] <trance> Oh, yeah. That level.
[16:29] <@golfkid> lol
[16:30] <@golfkid> It looks so simple
[16:30] <@golfkid> But it says "NO! I will rape your sanity!"

My Accomplishments:
Completed N; Completed Nreality on 4/11/08
598 top 20 scores in N 1.4 as of 6/28/14 (498 level scores, 100 episode scores, 2nd position in top 20 rankings); reached 100 on 12/14/2008; 300 (half of all possible ) on 11/9/2009; 400 on 12/2/2011; max of 598 on 2/3/2013; tied for 0th in top 20 rankings on 2/26-27/13
4 current v1.4 0ths (9th position in 0th rankings); First v1.4 0th: 63-3 at 1:20 pm, 3/24/2008
current level score: 71079.200 (6th position all time); 60k seconds on v1.4 6/17/08; 12th to 70k at 11:30pm EST, 12/24/2011; 6th to 71k at 5:50 pm EST, 9/29/2012
current episode score: 34276.650 (4th position all time); 100k seconds total level score (Metanet and NReality) on 2/4/08
- Retrofuturist
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...and because I blow at cooking, these won't exactly be cooking instructions as ingredients to throw together...
Combine the following items:
- mashed potatoes
- tuna
- mayonnaise
- mini garlic cloves (easily found in grocery stores)
- salt to taste

- Lifer
- Posts: 1071
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- Location: the 19th hole
[16:24] <@golfkid> I'm pretty sure I will literally scream if I die on the last column of 78-4 at this point
[16:25] <trance> Oh, yeah. That level.
[16:29] <@golfkid> lol
[16:30] <@golfkid> It looks so simple
[16:30] <@golfkid> But it says "NO! I will rape your sanity!"

My Accomplishments:
Completed N; Completed Nreality on 4/11/08
598 top 20 scores in N 1.4 as of 6/28/14 (498 level scores, 100 episode scores, 2nd position in top 20 rankings); reached 100 on 12/14/2008; 300 (half of all possible ) on 11/9/2009; 400 on 12/2/2011; max of 598 on 2/3/2013; tied for 0th in top 20 rankings on 2/26-27/13
4 current v1.4 0ths (9th position in 0th rankings); First v1.4 0th: 63-3 at 1:20 pm, 3/24/2008
current level score: 71079.200 (6th position all time); 60k seconds on v1.4 6/17/08; 12th to 70k at 11:30pm EST, 12/24/2011; 6th to 71k at 5:50 pm EST, 9/29/2012
current episode score: 34276.650 (4th position all time); 100k seconds total level score (Metanet and NReality) on 2/4/08
- Remembering Hoxygen
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I'm going to try this soon, and will post a picture documentary of my adventure (also, mashed potatoes mixed with taco meat is quite delicious).Tsukatu wrote:If there's anything I've ever managed to cook successfully, it's what I'm going to now refer to as Delicious Goop.
...and because I blow at cooking, these won't exactly be cooking instructions as ingredients to throw together...
Combine the following items:I don't know if the consistency is ruled by the mashed potatoes or what, but I've ended up having this be goopy enough that I drank it out of a mug.
- mashed potatoes
- tuna
- mayonnaise
- mini garlic cloves (easily found in grocery stores)
- salt to taste

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