Corrupt a Wish

Play messageboard games, do silly question-and-answer things, and just waste some time with your fellow forum-goers. Post count does not accumulate. No pie allowed.
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Postby Gavin » 2009.02.13 (23:36)

Granted, but you get so depresed from being so popular, that you commit suicide.

I wish I was a Metanet developer.
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90% of teens today would die if MySpace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this into your signature.

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Postby blackbelmoral » 2009.02.14 (00:26)

granted, but you cant do anything useful

i wish people would participate in my Mentoring program
YAR HAR!
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Atilla wrote:If I offer a position, particularly one that requires a degree of responsibility and maturity, verbally abusing me because you missed the position will only confirm my belief that you were not the best candidate

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Postby Pixon » 2009.02.14 (14:31)

Granted, but you lose interest in it.

I wish that my arms didn't hurt.
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Postby Rose » 2009.02.14 (14:39)

Granted. Now your package does.

I wish that I was immune to all disease/sickness.
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Postby _underscore_ » 2009.02.14 (14:49)

Granted, but your body spontaneously generates new disease to which you are immune to. Everyone else dies. You are lonely.

I wish NReality was working.
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Postby Pixon » 2009.02.14 (14:50)

Granted, but then your computer stops working..

I wish my cat would stop licking my hair.
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Signatures supplied by the following: NicNac14, Tsukatu, aphex_n, Nphasis, pinkymyno1, UniverseZero, gloomp, sidke, 29403, AMomentLikeThis, Chase, Red Reamer, Izzy, MyCheezKilledYours, Techno, Donfuy juice, southpaw, IAMAMAZING, SkyRay, Skyline, Why_Me, jackass, Leaff, esay, Daikenkai, Kablamo_Boom, wumbla, Izzy, toasters, Octopod Squad, behappyy, notsteve, Shadowraith, GTM, Animator, kkstrong, TearsOfTheSaints, Spawn of Yanni, nnn, Furry Ant, ampburner, fawk. Thanks.
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Postby Rose » 2009.02.14 (15:11)

Granted, but now it bites and tears out your hair.

I wish I lived someplace colder.
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Postby Pixon » 2009.02.14 (15:43)

Granted, but you get frostbite.

I wish I had some batteries for my Wiimote.
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Signatures supplied by the following: NicNac14, Tsukatu, aphex_n, Nphasis, pinkymyno1, UniverseZero, gloomp, sidke, 29403, AMomentLikeThis, Chase, Red Reamer, Izzy, MyCheezKilledYours, Techno, Donfuy juice, southpaw, IAMAMAZING, SkyRay, Skyline, Why_Me, jackass, Leaff, esay, Daikenkai, Kablamo_Boom, wumbla, Izzy, toasters, Octopod Squad, behappyy, notsteve, Shadowraith, GTM, Animator, kkstrong, TearsOfTheSaints, Spawn of Yanni, nnn, Furry Ant, ampburner, fawk. Thanks.
I have 72 signatures.

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Postby lookatthisisgoodatn » 2009.02.14 (17:26)

Here you go! *Hands Laurie 2 9v batteries* 8)

Oh yeah, I wish you'd have better wishes.
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Postby Banned » 2009.02.16 (13:13)

Granted. But people stop wishing at all.
I wish i had a super ninja that could run faster, jump higher, survive more bullets that other ninjas.
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Thx Maestro!

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Postby _underscore_ » 2009.02.16 (16:08)

Granted, but then you'd get bored.
I wish my homework would do itself.
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Postby Yoshimo » 2009.02.16 (16:35)

Granted, but you don't get any answers right.

I wish my Fresca was orange-flavored soda.
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Postby Drathmoore » 2009.02.16 (20:44)

Rotten Orange flavor it is!

I wish I had a Gibson.

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Postby _underscore_ » 2009.02.17 (00:34)

Granted, but it's a tuba.
I wish the weekend would last until Wednesday.
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Postby blackbelmoral » 2009.02.17 (02:45)

_underscore_ wrote:Granted, but it's a tuba.
I wish the weekend would last until Wednesday.
granted. but only for me (it already does lol)

i wish that someone else near me also had no school this week
YAR HAR!
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Atilla wrote:If I offer a position, particularly one that requires a degree of responsibility and maturity, verbally abusing me because you missed the position will only confirm my belief that you were not the best candidate

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Postby Sithmaster » 2009.02.17 (03:13)

granted. but they hate you


I wish I could remember where I put my 8GB flashdrive
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

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Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby blackbelmoral » 2009.02.17 (03:28)

granted, but it is waterlogged and broken

i wish i had a working and found 16 gig flash drive
YAR HAR!
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Atilla wrote:If I offer a position, particularly one that requires a degree of responsibility and maturity, verbally abusing me because you missed the position will only confirm my belief that you were not the best candidate

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Postby Banned » 2009.02.17 (12:03)

Granted, but it's locked and you forgot the password.
I wish for a... gaming computer.
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Thx Maestro!

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Postby Pixon » 2009.02.17 (22:56)

Granted, but it has no Internet.

I wish I could make better maps.
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Signatures supplied by the following: NicNac14, Tsukatu, aphex_n, Nphasis, pinkymyno1, UniverseZero, gloomp, sidke, 29403, AMomentLikeThis, Chase, Red Reamer, Izzy, MyCheezKilledYours, Techno, Donfuy juice, southpaw, IAMAMAZING, SkyRay, Skyline, Why_Me, jackass, Leaff, esay, Daikenkai, Kablamo_Boom, wumbla, Izzy, toasters, Octopod Squad, behappyy, notsteve, Shadowraith, GTM, Animator, kkstrong, TearsOfTheSaints, Spawn of Yanni, nnn, Furry Ant, ampburner, fawk. Thanks.
I have 72 signatures.

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Postby Rose » 2009.02.18 (02:24)

Granted, but no one notices them.

I wish that the English alphabet had exactly 2.5 more letters.
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Postby Lightning55 » 2009.02.18 (02:55)

Sadly in 50 days, all Latin/Greek based languages (any that use letters) disappears and suddenly everyone speaks Korean and Chinese. Sorry Japs, you still speak Japanese but nobody else does.

I wish I had PNI's (Laurie's) cat.
Lightning is power, you know, the thing that powers the machine you're on.
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Postby Rose » 2009.02.18 (03:05)

Granted, but that means it's not PNI's cat anymore. Since I granted an ungrantable wish, a time paradox opens and everything is destroyed.

I wish I never granted Lightning's wish.
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Postby _underscore_ » 2009.02.18 (11:13)

Ungrantable, as the time paradox removes that wish from existence.

I wish there was another 3-day weekend between now and the end of March. Which is when the next one is.
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Postby Sithmaster » 2009.02.18 (17:17)

granted, but there is a giant snow storm and you can't do anything for the weekend

I wish my Spanish teacher hadn't given our class projects over break.


also, Lightning, English is based on German, it is Germanic
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

Image
Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby kai » 2009.02.18 (20:27)

granted, but then the principle finds out she gave you a break and fired her. as it turns out she was already very close to termination and she knew it. snapping under stress to this betrayal of what she thought was a good deed to you, she arrives at school one day with ak's and body armor and shoot everyone one but you.

she then approaches you and whispers "its all for you kiddo" and then promptly blows her head off splattering brains and blood all over your face and clothes.

i wish i didnt have such a emotional detached morbid sense of humor


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