Public Bathroom Coping Strategy

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

I guess this also applies to second-hand smoking, nerve gas, etc., but I got to thinking about it after facing these circumstances in a public bathroom.

When there is something in the air that you don't want in your lungs:

• Inhaling moves that air past the cilia in your lungs, enabling them to reap a fresh harvest of undesirable particulates from the air.
• Not exhaling ensures that the particulates that haven't been absorbed yet will be.

So which do you think is the best, assuming that you neglect to hold your breath before entry and you've just gotten that nice first facefull of odor?
Do you take rapid, shallow breaths (maximize flux, minimize saturation)?
Do you take and hold a deep breath of the polluted air (minimize flux, maximize saturation)?
Or do you balance it out by breathing more or less normally?

(As usual, I've made the invisible "don't care" option right on top of your browser's Back button.)

EDIT: I'm shocked that I need to say this, but you'll notice there is no "minimize flux / minimize saturation" option. This is for a good reason - you're not holding your goddamned breath, remember? If you minimize both, you fall the hell unconscious and your body defaults to prolonged maximization of both.
And I don't know if y'all noticed this, but this is a poll. Scroll up a bit to see it.

[乳头的早餐谷物]

I first try to minimise both flux and saturation. I usually give up after a minute and breathe evenly through my shirt.

[TribulatioN]

I'd normally minimize flux, max saturation? Although I'd probably try to minimize saturation as well. If worst comes to worst, then I'd have to awkwardly hold my shirt up over my nose, while doing business.

[Pheidippides]

There's nothing but porta-johns at cross country meets, so i run into this situation about once or twice a week. I seem to instinctively go for the max flux, min saturation approach.

[Zora_S_Kenneth]

Maximizing flux and increasing saturation (hyperventilation) through the sleeve and then after a few seconds eliminating flux and maximizing saturation (hold breath) will allow for the greatest possible benefit. The hyperventilation clears the blood of CO2, allowing one to hold his breath for longer (I'd know, I'm a diver). The damage to your lungs and your nose is greatly reduced by the sleeve that you hyperventilate through.

Be careful, because you can cause yourself irreparable damage if you hyperventilate for too long, and then hold your breath for too long. Then, bad air will be the least of your problems.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

The original post has been edited. You'll find the edited content under the bold text that says "EDIT".

[Zora_S_Kenneth]

What? Constant exhalation? Yeah, that doesn't exactly work. It's the only thing that could fit under minimized flux, minimized saturation. I don't think you had to say it.

[blue_tetris]

If you hold your breath and piss fast enough, you could do both. I can piss in 15 seconds time. If not, you can just take normal breaths less often, essentially holding your breath for some portion of the time.

Anyway, I maximize flux.

[Atilla]

I typically try to take long, slow exhalations and short, shallow inhalations, which minimises the time I can actually smell things. May be accompanied by clamping a hand/handkerchief over mouth and nose.

[George]

If I ever unknowingly arrive in one of those situations, I'll tend to take one deep breath, quickly piss and get the hell out.

[fingersonthefrets]

yeah, i take a really deep breath before i enter the area and hold it for as long as possible, after that i take another one and continue like that basically.

[Condog]

Rapid, shallow breaths (maximize flux, minimize saturation).

[unoriginal name]

Haha, never thought about this 'til now.

Breathe Evenly, I guess. It's never been a concern.

[a happy song]

I typically try to take long, slow exhalations and short, shallow inhalations, which minimises the time I can actually smell things. May be accompanied by clamping a hand/handkerchief over mouth and nose.

Yep. This seems to be the most effective way to avoid excessive contamination that I've found.

[epigone]

Hiding your face in your shirt or under your hand and breathing as little as possible works the best.
Option 2.

[Kablizzy]

Also, one has to consider that it's less the toxicity of the inhalation or damage to the lung system as it is a matter of minimizing unpleasantness to the nose receptors. As such, I tend to take shallow, labored breaths with long, drawn-out exhalations.

[otters]

Breathing quickly makes me dizzy, so I usually try to minimize both before I result to taking long, deep breaths and minimizing flux.

[blue_tetris]

In retrospect, I think inhaling urea vapor makes you stronger and manlier. For the most part, I will inhale like normal when at the pisseria.

[Zora_S_Kenneth]

In retrospect, I think inhaling urea vapor makes you stronger and manlier. For the most part, I will inhale like normal when at the pisseria.

And if you're inhaling someone's fecal matter from an unflushed toilet standing around for a few hours? Does that make you manlier also?
Actually I wonder...

[blue_tetris]

What doesn't kill ya.

[wolfgang]

I've never found myself in a public bathroom disgusting enough to warrant measures like these, but in situation where I am repulsed by breathing the air I find myself taking and holding a deep breath through my sleeve, so I guess minimise flux, maximise saturation.
I'm somewhat confident that if I planned ahead like you guys I could hold my breathe for long enough to get in, piss, quick hand wash and leave. Maybe I'm overestimating myself though.

[Atilla]

In retrospect, I think inhaling urea vapor makes you stronger and manlier. For the most part, I will inhale like normal when at the pisseria.

And if you're inhaling someone's fecal matter from an unflushed toilet standing around for a few hours? Does that make you manlier also?
Actually I wonder...

Well, passing out in a pool of vomit after deliberately imbibing a toxic substance supposedly makes you manlier, so on form I'd say yes.

[Evil_Sire]

On the odd occasions I need to go to the shit hole, i'll shove a hankercheif up both nostrils.

Or take in deodreant

Or breathe deeper and slower

[wedgie]

I would generally try to breathe in as little as possible.

[jean-luc]

Breathing through your shirt really won't be effective at removing smells, though, since they're gasses. the worrying thing about the public bathroom environment, at least the one I suppose you're talking about, is airborne particulates. Most of these particles are far too small, I would think, to be stopped by your shirt.