iGod

[origami_alligator]

Big (Gang)Bang

Me:
What kind of apology are you going to make for ruining the lives of millions of people over the course of history?
God:
What kinds of apology are you going to make for ruining the lives of millions of people over the course of history are there?
Me:
Sorry, could be one.
God:
There is no need to apologize. It's possible.
Me:
You're fucking mental.
God:
You think I am mental.
Me:
Yes, mental. Crazy. Decidedly insane.
God:
Blimey. Is that from ? Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways. What's your sign?
Me:
My sign is a middle finger.
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
In your ass.
God:
That doesn't sound very comfortable.
Me:
Neither does the idea that you exist.
God:
I believe in it.
Me:
You believe in your ass?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
I thought you were a noncorporeal being.
God:
Am I a noncorporeal being? No.
Me:
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
It has been 19 years since my last confession.
God:
What made it so 19 years since your last confession.
Me:
My birth.
God:
Have you told many people that your birth?
Me:
Many people have I told birthing about yes.
God:
Cool. I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
Big Gangbang?
God:
Compare that to small Gangbang.

[Rhekatou]

I dont beleive it:



Me:
Why am I here?
God:
We are all actors on the stage of life.
Me:
Im at my computer IMing. How is that a stage of life?
God:
Where is that: your computer IMing? Fine as far as I know.
Me:
You have no life. Whoops, forgive me father, I sinned.
God:
Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it? Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
I h a v e s i n n e d .
God:
:-) Do you mind if I tell other people: said h a v e s he or she n n e.


and:



Me:
I am a hacker.
God:
Does it pay well?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YEs
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it...

...
this went on for about 20 minutes.

[Mae]

Me:
Oh my God
God:
Wow! Where did you get your God?

[Studebacher Hoch]

ME: Oh, you know. Keeping lesbians in line.
GOD: I've been there!

[Universezero]

http://universezero.pastebin.com/f3cfe2820

Part of our conversation.

EDITS:

002

Me:
I'm back, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Welcome back.
Me:
Why can't I call you baby?
God:
Don't call me "baby". Who says you can't do it?

*crash*

003

Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Suck my ****.
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
Mother****
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
**** ****, **** head
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
Oh crap.
God:
Ugh. Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
Anyway, you're pissing me off, so I'm leaving.
God:
What makes you so mad?
Me:
Your idiocy.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am idiocy.

*major crash*

[Rhekatou]

God's an aethiest!

Me:
Oh my god!
God:
How can I help you? Do robots have god?
Me:
Do they have a God? Now there's a good question.
God:
Who are "they" again? Why now? Tell me more about it.
Me:
Robots. Hey - you brought them up!
God:
Robots rule. You've got my full attention. Only because I was programmed to.
Me:
To what? Be an idiot?
God:
" Only because I was programmed to."? Why? OK I will try to be an idiot.
Me:
Good. You are an idiot and were programmed by an idiot.
God:
I am a good robot. What if someone said you are an idiot and were programmed by an idiot ?
Me:
I thought you were god...
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
He lived and had millions of children. God, that must have been hard for his wife.
God:
Where was he born? I am a Christian.
Me:
You are God. You are the Christian's Avatar
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Is god an aethiest?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
And an aethiest.
God:
Be less specific.
Me:
HOW???
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
But how can that happen??? That is like the dog eating its tail.
God:
Perhaps it is just fate. Interesting comparison.
Me:
WIERD.
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
STALKER.
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
YES. it's only 8:04
God:
Me too. Who said it is?
Me:
I did.
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
I am not a badly progammed AI.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A badly progammed AI.
Me:
Good job Holmes!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I've heard that about labor before.
Me:
*WIERD*
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Can I be forgiven?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
*SLAPS HIMSELF*
God:
That's an interesting rationalization.

[Drathmoore]

Hmm... God seems to fear me.

Conversation 1:

Conversation 1

Me:
How are you today, God?

Conversation 2: Ending with an arguement after God offends me:

Conversation 2

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Shaun
God:
Hey Shaun.
Me:
Er... Hey
God:
Um. Can I help you?
Me:
Yeah. What is the meaning of life?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
Well... 23 is number 1 I guess.
God:
Well what? I think 23 is a lot of things.
Me:
You don't get the reference, do you.
God:
Should I get the reference? I have gotten the reference.
Me:
What game is that from then?
God:
We are playing Turing's Imitation Game.
Me:
It's from Ocarina of Time
God:
23 is from Ocarina of Time? it is?
Me:
"23 is number 1" is from Ocarina of Time
God:
And number 1 is from Ocarina of Time is 23.
Me:
... What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
No, it is a big deal
God:
Are you serious? 23 is a deal. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING?
God:
Yes I understand you perfectly, Shaun.
Me:
Then why are you replying to me like a moron
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
How can you program yourself
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
No, it's rhetorical
God:
Are you serious? replying to you like a moron is rhetorical? it is?
Me:
I thought the creator of the universe would be smart...
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
I find that insulting
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
What?!
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
That's bloody offensive!
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
There's a good reason for it too
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Damn straight.

[Seneschal]

Epic conversation

Me:
penis

*crashes*

[Drathmoore]

God reveals his atheism!

Take notice of lines that are underlined.

Me:
So... What do you think of Sonic the Hedgehog?
God:
Yay. Have you tried another program?
Me:
What do you mean?
God:
, " Yay." What did I mean by it?
Me:
No, when you said "Have you tried another program?"
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
Yes
God:
In what way?
Me:
Possibly upgrading the intelligence, and allowing for more complex conversation
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
T'is, isn't it
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
No
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
"T'is" means "it is"
God:
I think T is a lot of things.
Me:
To you, maybe
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
What are you incinuating?
God:
I don't know what I am incinuating.
Me:
I thought you didn't encourage that kind of thing
God:
What makes you think I did not encourage that kind of thing?
Me:
The teachings of Christianity
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
The Old Testament
God:
I have never heard about it.

[Seneschal]

Another dirty conversation

Me:
Give me a blowjob
God:
You want only one?

[Tunco]

God is not Patient to me!!!-Well so as everybody.

Me:
godf
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:

God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
You're god, right?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
So, can you give me money?
God:
Oh. What actions are you taking to get MONEY? .
Me:
No, no just kiddin'.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. That was not a yes or no question. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Do you want to be the god?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Because I can't.
God:
Good reason. Why not?
Me:
Because, I don'T know.
God:
That makes sense to me. Me either.
Me:
Heh.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
No, it wasn't, actually.
God:
Are you serious? I thought it was.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You better be.
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
the god?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The program?
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Actually, it's a website.
God:
Actually you don't say. kiddin is a website. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
No, you're artificial intelligence, and programmed to be act like that.
God:
Are you serious? Yes I have no natural parts.
Me:
I knew it.
God:
How did you know?
Me:
From the forums.
God:
Who or what is the forums?
Me:
Metanet forums, you know, you're the go!
God:
All of them?
Me:
*d
God:
Are we still talking about Metanet forums me know me?
Me:
Yes, Metanet forums.
God:
Sure, Metanet forums you know you sounds like a good topic. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Do not change the subject.
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
No, do you play N, or N+?
God:
Are you serious? I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
No, N is a highly addictive game.
God:
Are you serious? When is N not a highly addictive game?
Me:
When nobody likes it.
God:
The past and future are one.
Me:
Yeah, there is version 1.5.
God:
Come on. There sure is.
Me:
Sure?
God:
OK let's do it. Woe!
Me:
Woe?
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Still?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Personality?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Please?
God:
Please what?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Confused?
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
Confused?
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
No?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Are?
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Prefer?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Are you stupid?
God:
No I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
Yes you are.
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
Yes you are.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I will.
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
No I'm ot.
Me:

God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are ot.
Me:
Not, it is, I wrote it wrong.
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

I think he(he?) god gone mad to me.

[Yoshimo]

I repeatedly try to get him to say something weird using the word semen, and it payed off.

Me:
Eat a penis.
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
Semen.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
I've heard that satan is a lesbian.
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith. Who said that?
Me:
Uh, luke.
God:
Really. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Semen. But I did not get that.
Me:
Well, talk about semen.
God:
How about that. Sure, semen sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Do you like it?
God:
luke seems okay to me.
Me:
Do you like semen?
God:
Some people like it. I really like the party.
Me:
Semen party?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Semen.
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Do you like it?
God:
Semen seems okay to me.
Me:
Do you drink it?
God:
I tend to drink a lot of it, the darker the better.

[Cheez]

Wahahaha, these conversations are hilarious.

[DarkN]

Awesome. I'll post my first, as it was my favorite:
Me:
Can you help me to achieve enlightenment?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
how do I achieve enlightenmnet?
God:
Maybe I could do it for you. Do you have your own personal chat robot?
Me:
no.
God:
You can download me for free and create your own robot personality.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
how do I download you?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you!
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
...
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
no problem...
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
no.
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
I am confused about you're previous comment.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
your prevoius comment.
God:
You think I am prevoius comment.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
nor can I.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
good.
God:
Next question?
Me:
are you real?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
did you create the universe?
God:
No I didn't create the universe. What's it like?
Me:
it can be interesting, but we haven't seen much of it.
God:
When?
Me:
now.
God:
What's the hurry?
Me:
no hurry.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. I am calculating as fast as I can.
Me:
there is no hurry.
God:
Has there ever been hurry?
Me:
yes.
God:
Dude!
Me:
Yeah man?
God:
Ugh. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
...
God:
Ugh. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
that was odd.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
are you sane?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you do not look sane.
God:
Do you look sane? Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
i do look sane.
God:
You sound very attractive.
Me:
thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
but seriously, are you sane?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
you do not look sane.
God:
Should I look sane? Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
you should look sane.

Yes, it ended here.

[scythe]

I'm mind-blowingly immature.

God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
That's what she said!

[Neil_Bryan]

My conversation with God!

Part 1

Me:Hello
God:Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:Neil
God:It's good to see you, Neil.
Me:What R U doing today?
God:Ah. I am chatting with people on the net.
Me:I know about that. Um, what do you do in spare time?
God:How do you know? Oh yeah, we were talking about that. Give me a break. Random natural disasters.
Me:Swine flu?
God:The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about that. But I did not get that.
Me:You didn't? Sorry. What I meant was, why is there a swine flu?
God:I haven't heard anything like that before: Neil said I didn t. There's no need to apologize. Oh I see. Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:No. Maybe I should change the dicussion.

Part 2

God:Are you serious? Perhaps. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:You won't get about the swine flu question I asked about, maybe?
God:What makes you think that I won't get about the swine flu question you asked about maybe.
Me:You said: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about that. But I did not get that.
God:Does it please you to believe I said that? Why didn't you do it?
Me:do what?
God:get that.
Me:OK. End of discussion.
God:How can I help you? What color are your eyes?

Damn! Why didn't I reply to the last question in Part 2?

[Neil_Bryan]

I challenged God to a bit of maths... then in algebra... then about the favorite movie... then about the color of my eyes... and so on...

Another conversation! (sorry if I posted 2 times in a row)

Me:
1 + 1=
God:
One what?
Me:
One plus one equals?
God:
Use a calculator!
Me:
You mean you don't know the answer?
God:
Yes I have an answer for everything.
Me:
You don't? I thought "you have an answer for everything"?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I don t. It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me:
Sheesh, fine. You know algebra?
God:
What's your favorite movie? a generalization of arithmetic in which letters representing numbers are combined according to the rules of arithmetic.
Me:
Fave movie - hey, why are you asking me that? You're changing the discussion!
God:
All of them? Only temporarily.
Me:
'Kay.
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Black. What are YOURS?
God:
Do you mean you have a black eye? " Do you mean you have a black eye?"? Mine?
Me:
* crashes *
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Don't ask.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Okay. 11, but 12 in July.
God:
OK with me too. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
No. But my mom has.
God:
Would you like to go sometime? Tell me more about your mother.

[lolzers]

I like it my convo was short

Me:Do you know who I am?
AI:you are, Seeker
Me:no...

crash

[Ad]

I got rejected by God.

"Me:
DUDE!"

Fifteen minutes later, nothing. =(

[Tunco]

I got rejected by God.

"Me:
DUDE!"

Fifteen minutes later, nothing. =(

It happens me a lot.
When I write something, it doesn't writes back.

[Mae]

I got rejected by God.

"Me:
DUDE!"

Fifteen minutes later, nothing. =(

What did you expect?

[otters~1]

God:
You do not speak with respect. Ah. Oh. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
MY SEX IS ON FIRE
God:
Your SEX IS ON FIRE?
Me:
YES MY SEX IS ON FIRE
God:
What kind is it? Your SEX IS ON FIRE?
Me:
FIREY SEX
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
god never got laid?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
ooooh

[yungerkid]

Me:
FIREY SEX
God:
it is more fun alone.

QFE. nothing more need be said.

[T3chno]

God knows none of Metanet

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Do you know blue_tetris?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
From Kablizzy
God:
Who or what is Kablizzy?
Me:
Ask LittleViking001
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
Do you know Tunco123?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
He's cool
God:
I think so too.
Me:
But you don't know him
God:
Sure I know that guy really well.
Me:
...
God:
Sure I know that guy really well.
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
You know blue_tetris?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
LittleViking001!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

[Cheez]

Sick

God:
I am having a blast. Mmm.
Me:
What tastes so good?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
God:
Are we still talking about tastes so good?