GOD or SATAN?

[sawyerscott52]

god or satan? jesus or lucifer? angels or demons? salvation or sin? heaven or hell? light or darkness? peace... or fun?

speaking hypothetically and pretending they exist, which would you choose?

here's a table to get you started:

GOD / SATAN

Salvation / Damnation (you can meet Hitler!)

Obedience/ Free Will

Praying/ Sticking out your tongue and screaming "SATAN!!!"

if you ask me, i'd go with Satan. you can see demons and get chopped up and burned without dying. what could be better?

besides, lucifer would realize i symphatized for him (he was in god's shadow. he just wanted to be recognized and heard. stupid god has to take all the limelight), and make me his right hand man.

he might even give me horns, wings, fire powers, and a big sword to go and scare the Christians.

but anyway, what about you?

and i know about 99.999999999 percent of you disagree with me.

always that extra 00.000000001 percent, though.

[Drathmoore]

pretending they exist

I'd be careful with your choice of words there; you don't want to tick people off...

Er... I'd choose Buddha. :p


Out of the choice though, I'd have to do with God. Mainly because obedience is a small price to pay for not suffering agonising torment for the rest of my afterlife.

[sawyerscott52]

pretending they exist

I'd be careful with your choice of words there; you don't want to tick people off...

Er... I'd choose Buddha. :p


Out of the choice though, I'd have to do with God. Mainly because obedience is a small price to pay for not suffering agonising torment for the rest of my afterlife.

ah, buddhism. a religion that makes sense.

yeah, you're right. it wouldn't be the first time my big mouth got me in trouble (cue Family Guy or Corner Gas- like clip)

anyway, kurt cobain was buddhist.

ooh, i should open up a debate on how he died... i think it was courtney love, but...

[SkyPanda]

I'm confused is this a dating thing because I like brunettes so which one is the brunette

[sawyerscott52]

I'm confused is this a dating thing because I like brunettes so which one is the brunette

well, lucifer either has no hair, or if he does, its black.

and i'm pretty sure god has the whole "long white beard and hair" thing going for him.

i don't think either of them are your type.

[SkyPanda]

...Man, looking through this thread... it's like an autistic version of Tsukatu or something.

Autistic? That's a pretty gay term to use, dude.

[Tunco]

...Man, looking through this thread... it's like an autistic version of Tsukatu or something.

Autistic? That's a pretty gay term to use, dude.

Gay? Tsukatu? Gay? Tsukatu?

Gay?

[otters]

...Man, looking through this thread... it's like an autistic version of Tsukatu or something.

Autistic? That's a pretty gay term to use, dude.

Gay? Tsukatu? Gay? Tsukatu?

Gay?

Tunco? Sensible? Tunco? Sensible?

Tunco? Making sense?

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

...Man, looking through this thread... it's like an autistic version of Tsukatu or something.

Jesus fuck, I hope not.
I need to reconsider the way I present myself... :\


To answer the question... It depends on which God.
If it's the God of any of the Abrahamic faiths, I have never been able to find a way that such a God could be a moral being. If Heaven is full of the sort of hateful, bigoted, self-loathing, miserable, vengeful, petty sons of bitches one would have to be to actually be consistent in keeping that God's commandments, then I would likely find being in a room alone with those people to be a miserable experience, especially if the one they all idolize is there as well. Although if Hell is the alternative, I guess I would lobby for Limbo. Limbo seems nice. I imagine it'd be something like the world today -- good and evil aplenty, with God simply not at all present. I've been known to say that I can't wait for the Rapture, because then we can get some actual social reform and progress done without all of these religious nuts in the way. If Limbo wasn't an option, I would have to go with Heaven and keep to myself as much as possible, because choosing a Dante's Inferno Hell is beyond retarded. If it's just a "no God" Hell, though, where other intelligent atheists will go, then I'd probably pick that over Heaven.

If it's the God of Christianity v2.0, a.k.a. "Christ-Followers," which could in no way possibly be based on the Holy Bible, then I'd say I already have an effortless pass into a Heaven I'd enjoy. Since people are starting to realize that strict, tough-love religions come off as domineering and oppressive, we've seen a rise in religions like Christianity v2.0, which is what most people who call themselves Christians actually are. And since Christ-Following entails doing whatever the hell you want and dreaming up a God who will love you for it, I've got this one in the bag. If it turns out to be true by some crazy random happenstance, I'm the happiest and luckiest son of a bitch in existence.

If it's the escape from samsara in Buddism and Hinduism, then I'd much prefer to find the path to the godhood that Shiva and Vishnu enjoy, but stop the whole process there. I enjoy life, and the prospect of escaping existence strikes me as boring and counter-intuitive.

What else deserves half-assedly serious consideration? Elysian Fields over Hades, Halls of Valhalla over what the hell else there is, etc. Less structured religions tend to focus more on life's indulgences than bitter passiveness and spite, so I think it's a good general rule that I'd go with whatever the "Heaven" equivalent is of those religions.

besides, lucifer would realize i symphatized for him (he was in god's shadow. he just wanted to be recognized and heard. stupid god has to take all the limelight), and make me his right hand man.

I've always found this line of thinking hilarious. It's both a masterful setup of the "I can't lose" situation that Christianity v2.0 has convinced itself is totally plausible as well as a morphing of Hell into a place that will T_T finally accept you for who you are T_T. How is the fantasizing of Satan thinking you're a cool dude much different from fantasizing that you're going to be the coolest kid in school before your first day? You think that the denizens of Hell are the group who won't spam ASCII cocks all over the comments of your LiveJournal poetry?
Think of the sorts of people who are going to be there: There's going to be morons like you who want to be best buds with Satan because you think he's a badass, and there's going to be murderers, rapists, and people who talk in the theater. It's basically going to be a massive prison population. And not just any prison, because Hell probably won't abide by the higher standard of living that US prisons are forced to comply with; we're talking about a dank and putrid shithole from Cambodia or the Congo. Imagine being on vacation and, through some mixup, being thrown into a prison cell in Tijuana. You and your pudgy, pale, doughy little self in your Grateful Dead t-shirt and jeans from Hot Topic, and an emo hairstyle with tips dyed bright red covering your right eye. You think you're going to be making many friends there? You think you're going to be pals with the warden because you share his desperate need for self-validation that can only be assuaged by pretending to enjoy hurting other people? You think that's going to be an in for you, or that anyone else there will think anything like the way you do? I fucking guarantee that as pretentious and boring as grandpa's country club is, you're going to latch onto the memories of being there as your happy place when Diego and his pals are drowning you in a bowl full of their prison-food shit.
And y'know what Lucifer's going to think of you? He's going to think the same thing that me or Dave or Blizz or KingAlex, or anyone else with as much vanity as Lucifer is going to think: You are a fucking sycophant, and we have no interest in you other than entertainment. There's a pretty solid trend in mythology, in other forms of fiction, and even in the real world, wherein the evil people in charge come from a good and righteous position of power, and the fall from grace leaves them as shells of their former glory, still far beyond the abilities of proles but in a regrettable situation all the same. But the people who try to be bad from the start make it to lackey status and never rise out of it. That's where you've got your sights set right now. And I think that given the way you've presented yourself here, it's rather fitting.

Why is it you're into this Satan / Hell / evil shit, anyway? Does no one understand your lack of attempts to be understood? Do the other kids in school think you're different just because you wear spiked jewelry and makeup and talk obsessively about unsociable things for attention? Because it's easier to claim that you're actively trying to be different when it's painfully obvious to everyone else that that's not actually your choice? And while you may desperately hope that there might be a supercool dude who has TATTOOS AND RIDES A MOTORCYCLE EVERYWHERE JUST RIDING IT EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME who will be your best friend and teach you to be supercool like him, you still seem to realize that your naive version of Satan doesn't fucking exist. It's just you and this life of yours, and you've already got a piss-poor start to it with this hipster occult shit.

Connecting with people isn't that hard, y'know. And while it might seem (and in many cases, be) superficial, it's nowhere near as depressing and pathetic as insisting on being the eccentric outsider who starts a band like Morbid Anal Fog. I mean, seriously, look at these people. What the hell are they doing with their lives? Does that not seriously depress the hell out of you? Don't be like these people. Be normal. Or if you can manage it, be like me, which is normal + egregious amounts of awesome. Read some Tucker Max for inspiration or something.
But either way, find a good reason for disbelief in God, and stop wasting your fucking life.

[otters]

I've been known to say that I can't wait for the Rapture, because then we can get some actual social reform and progress done without all of these religious nuts in the way.

Oh. Oh. Fuck. Low blow.

[otters~1]

I'm confused is this a dating thing because I like brunettes so which one is the brunette

I believe Jesus was brunette.

[capt_weasle]

besides, lucifer would realize i symphatized for him (he was in god's shadow. he just wanted to be recognized and heard. stupid god has to take all the limelight), and make me his right hand man.

I think you need to reconsider this statement. First, read what Tsukatu said, and then have a gander at this and this. I think those are a pretty good representation of what you'll be "sympathizing" with. Also, I think Suki would like those links.

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

besides, lucifer would realize i symphatized for him (he was in god's shadow. he just wanted to be recognized and heard. stupid god has to take all the limelight), and make me his right hand man.

I think you need to reconsider this statement. First, read what Tsukatu said, and then have a gander at this and this. I think those are a pretty good representation of what you'll be "sympathizing" with. Also, I think Suki would like those links.

Aw, dude, c'mon, you don't need to give the little freak some fapping material.

[SkyPanda]

I believe Jesus was brunette.

8 Simple Commandments for dating My ascended holy Son?

[blue_tetris]

I believe Jesus was brunette.

9 Simple Commandments for dating My ascended holy Son?

This only reminds everyone that John Ritter has passed away. :(

Sky, you ass.

[SlappyMcGee]

I believe Jesus was brunette.

9 Simple Commandments for dating My ascended holy Son?

This only reminds everyone that John Ritter has passed away. :(

Sky, you ass.

RIP RITTER.

[SkyPanda]

Actually what's worse is that I hit 9 instead of 8 and didn't notice, fix'd.

[sawyerscott52]

...Man, looking through this thread... it's like an autistic version of Tsukatu or something.

Jesus fuck, I hope not.
I need to reconsider the way I present myself... :\


To answer the question... It depends on which God.
If it's the God of any of the Abrahamic faiths, I have never been able to find a way that such a God could be a moral being. If Heaven is full of the sort of hateful, bigoted, self-loathing, miserable, vengeful, petty sons of bitches one would have to be to actually be consistent in keeping that God's commandments, then I would likely find being in a room alone with those people to be a miserable experience, especially if the one they all idolize is there as well. Although if Hell is the alternative, I guess I would lobby for Limbo. Limbo seems nice. I imagine it'd be something like the world today -- good and evil aplenty, with God simply not at all present. I've been known to say that I can't wait for the Rapture, because then we can get some actual social reform and progress done without all of these religious nuts in the way. If Limbo wasn't an option, I would have to go with Heaven and keep to myself as much as possible, because choosing a Dante's Inferno Hell is beyond retarded. If it's just a "no God" Hell, though, where other intelligent atheists will go, then I'd probably pick that over Heaven.

If it's the God of Christianity v2.0, a.k.a. "Christ-Followers," which could in no way possibly be based on the Holy Bible, then I'd say I already have an effortless pass into a Heaven I'd enjoy. Since people are starting to realize that strict, tough-love religions come off as domineering and oppressive, we've seen a rise in religions like Christianity v2.0, which is what most people who call themselves Christians actually are. And since Christ-Following entails doing whatever the hell you want and dreaming up a God who will love you for it, I've got this one in the bag. If it turns out to be true by some crazy random happenstance, I'm the happiest and luckiest son of a bitch in existence.

If it's the escape from samsara in Buddism and Hinduism, then I'd much prefer to find the path to the godhood that Shiva and Vishnu enjoy, but stop the whole process there. I enjoy life, and the prospect of escaping existence strikes me as boring and counter-intuitive.

What else deserves half-assedly serious consideration? Elysian Fields over Hades, Halls of Valhalla over what the hell else there is, etc. Less structured religions tend to focus more on life's indulgences than bitter passiveness and spite, so I think it's a good general rule that I'd go with whatever the "Heaven" equivalent is of those religions.

besides, lucifer would realize i symphatized for him (he was in god's shadow. he just wanted to be recognized and heard. stupid god has to take all the limelight), and make me his right hand man.

I've always found this line of thinking hilarious. It's both a masterful setup of the "I can't lose" situation that Christianity v2.0 has convinced itself is totally plausible as well as a morphing of Hell into a place that will T_T finally accept you for who you are T_T. How is the fantasizing of Satan thinking you're a cool dude much different from fantasizing that you're going to be the coolest kid in school before your first day? You think that the denizens of Hell are the group who won't spam ASCII cocks all over the comments of your LiveJournal poetry?
Think of the sorts of people who are going to be there: There's going to be morons like you who want to be best buds with Satan because you think he's a badass, and there's going to be murderers, rapists, and people who talk in the theater. It's basically going to be a massive prison population. And not just any prison, because Hell probably won't abide by the higher standard of living that US prisons are forced to comply with; we're talking about a dank and putrid shithole from Cambodia or the Congo. Imagine being on vacation and, through some mixup, being thrown into a prison cell in Tijuana. You and your pudgy, pale, doughy little self in your Grateful Dead t-shirt and jeans from Hot Topic, and an emo hairstyle with tips dyed bright red covering your right eye. You think you're going to be making many friends there? You think you're going to be pals with the warden because you share his desperate need for self-validation that can only be assuaged by pretending to enjoy hurting other people? You think that's going to be an in for you, or that anyone else there will think anything like the way you do? I fucking guarantee that as pretentious and boring as grandpa's country club is, you're going to latch onto the memories of being there as your happy place when Diego and his pals are drowning you in a bowl full of their prison-food shit.
And y'know what Lucifer's going to think of you? He's going to think the same thing that me or Dave or Blizz or KingAlex, or anyone else with as much vanity as Lucifer is going to think: You are a fucking sycophant, and we have no interest in you other than entertainment. There's a pretty solid trend in mythology, in other forms of fiction, and even in the real world, wherein the evil people in charge come from a good and righteous position of power, and the fall from grace leaves them as shells of their former glory, still far beyond the abilities of proles but in a regrettable situation all the same. But the people who try to be bad from the start make it to lackey status and never rise out of it. That's where you've got your sights set right now. And I think that given the way you've presented yourself here, it's rather fitting.

Why is it you're into this Satan / Hell / evil shit, anyway? Does no one understand your lack of attempts to be understood? Do the other kids in school think you're different just because you wear spiked jewelry and makeup and talk obsessively about unsociable things for attention? Because it's easier to claim that you're actively trying to be different when it's painfully obvious to everyone else that that's not actually your choice? And while you may desperately hope that there might be a supercool dude who has TATTOOS AND RIDES A MOTORCYCLE EVERYWHERE JUST RIDING IT EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME who will be your best friend and teach you to be supercool like him, you still seem to realize that your naive version of Satan doesn't fucking exist. It's just you and this life of yours, and you've already got a piss-poor start to it with this hipster occult shit.

Connecting with people isn't that hard, y'know. And while it might seem (and in many cases, be) superficial, it's nowhere near as depressing and pathetic as insisting on being the eccentric outsider who starts a band like Morbid Anal Fog. I mean, seriously, look at these people. What the hell are they doing with their lives? Does that not seriously depress the hell out of you? Don't be like these people. Be normal. Or if you can manage it, be like me, which is normal + egregious amounts of awesome. Read some Tucker Max for inspiration or something.
But either way, find a good reason for disbelief in God, and stop wasting your fucking life.

i think you sort of missed my point...

first of all, none of what you said about me is true. i don't "try to be different." i definitely DON'T wear hot topic jeans, grateful dead t-shirts (damn republicans), make-up, spiked jewelry, and my hair is not died black with red tips. i basically just live.

the whole "warden and prison and whatnot" analogy is kind of true, but not completely. Hell is only filled with non-believers and those who don't "ask for forgiveness." i suppose that there would be some murderers and whatnot in there, but whatever. i didn't actually mean the whole "i want to go to hell" thing. i'm atheist, so i don't believe in GOD or HELL. i just wanted to see Christians and Satanists battle it out.

i do have a good reason to not believe in god, by the way: the bible doesn't make sense, it's filled with contradictions, blah blah blah. it seems like your line of thinking is the same as mine, so you probably already know all the reasons why.

and i am doing something with my life instead of cutting my wrist for attention. me and my friends just happen to have a close-knit group of a little people. we have other friends, though. we're not "disconnected." we help each other out and are really close.

look, it seems like me and you could be friends, and i think this sort of gave you a bad understanding of who i am. like i said, this was mostly a joke to make fun of God-loving fire-and-brimstone Christians and Devil worshipping, tongue splitting Satanists. I don't believe in either.

like I said, you seem like most of my friends, so... yeah...

and I, like you, am a mix of "normal + egregious amounts of awesome." :)

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

I don't know, it seemed like you actually believed what you were saying with this:

besides, lucifer would realize i symphatized for him (he was in god's shadow. he just wanted to be recognized and heard. stupid god has to take all the limelight), and make me his right hand man.

[otters~1]

i just wanted to see Christians and Satanists battle it out.

So do the rest of us, but we don't make threads about it.

[sawyerscott52]

I don't know, it seemed like you actually believed what you were saying with this:

besides, lucifer would realize i symphatized for him (he was in god's shadow. he just wanted to be recognized and heard. stupid god has to take all the limelight), and make me his right hand man.

oh, well... sorry if it came off like that...

i'm really not that kind of person, though.

this is entire thread has become sort of an embarassment to me.

if i'm going to be hated by everyone on this, i might as well be hated for something i actually meant to do or something that was actually me.

so, sorry... really, i'm not that kind of person.

[Lachesis]

sawyerscott52 really reminds me of a friend that i recently had a falling out with.

EDIT: After reading his blog, he REALLY reminds me of that friend. Damn.

[McP]

I pick SATAN when it comes to METAL and GOD when it comes to INDIE ROCK

[Lachesis]

I prefer Cthulhu. He is a manifestation of extreme terror and evil.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!

[t̷s͢uk̕a͡t͜ư]

I prefer Cthulhu. He is a manifestation of extreme terror and evil.

I pose this as a serious question, because you nutjobs fascinate me to no end:
Why do you prefer terror to euphoria?
If it's because you think you'll be on the terror-giving end, then presumably given all the people smarter, more evil, and more capable than you are going to be on the receiving end, why do you think you are an exception?