Everything can injure you.

Play messageboard games, do silly question-and-answer things, and just waste some time with your fellow forum-goers. Post count does not accumulate. No pie allowed.
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Postby Pikman » 2008.11.26 (23:37)

lookatthisisgoodatn wrote:You played that before?
Yeah.

Spam can lag your browser and cause you to throw your computer out the window, only to rethink your decision and run outside. Your computer then hits you in the head and triggers a brain aneurysm.

Writing C++, grr.

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Postby remm » 2008.11.27 (02:10)

C++ will give you some intense RSI, crippling you, making you unable to reach out for basic necessities. You will die of starvation.

The moon
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Postby Rule » 2008.11.27 (15:52)

The moon?
Have you guys ever heart of werewolves? You know, those humans that transform into giant wolves when there is a full moon? You will know what I mean if you do know werewolves. But, for the people that do not know them, I'll explain. Imagine, you are walking beside the lake with your girlfriend and suddenly you see that it is full moon. You stop to show your girl the beautiful sight of the moon's light shining on the water. But, suddenly, you here a sound behind you. You look but can't see anything. So quickly you walk on. But then out of nowhere it appears. The werewolf. You and your girlfriend start to run like crazy but your girl falls. The wolf reaches her and eats her. You are so mad that he killed her, that you decide to kill the thing. You fail because the thing is much stronger. Technically, you're not dead yet. So, some idiot decides to shoot you. With silver bullets. and so you die.
And that's how the moon can kill you.

Your brains.
(Not your thoughts, your brains)
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Postby lookatthisisgoodatn » 2008.11.27 (19:28)

They fall out of your head.
Beer.
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Nobody will probably read this sentance, as it is the second to last one, so put it in your sig if you did. -brainwasher's sig.
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Postby Eiturlyf » 2008.11.27 (23:02)

You drink too much, go to an AA metting, meet a bunch of droonk Canadians, get into a fight, get arrested and go on the Tonight Show.

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Die Kreatur muss sterben!

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Postby wumbla » 2008.11.28 (03:29)

okay, you insantly love spam, you wat it 3 times a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then this law comes out saying that spam is illagal in all countries becouse it can be made into drugs, but you just love your spam so mauch, after awhile people find out you have spam, and ythey call in millitary force. No more spam for you.

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eganic wrote:I WUMBLA
YOU WUMBLA
HE SHE ME
WUMBLA

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Postby Rule » 2008.11.28 (16:50)

I don't know what that is. But if you eat it and then you can't breath because it's stuck. Well... you're dead then.

brains.
lookatthisisgoodatn did not say how brains could kill you so I try again.
brains.
(not thoughts, not them falling out of your head, brains)
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Postby Pikman » 2008.11.28 (17:56)

Stinky Bean =/= Spam

Brains are placed into giant, super destructive robots that blow up the world and everything in it.

~ (tilde)

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Postby lookatthisisgoodatn » 2008.11.29 (23:27)

You go insane trying to find the bloody thing.
Ah, there it is. ~.
All the colours in the next sentence.
HasanyonehereplayedPersona3before?
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Postby Pikman » 2008.11.30 (18:23)

onoz you repeated t3h red!!!!1!!11!1

Some of the colors are too dark for the forum skin, so I tear my eyeballs out trying to read them.
I've seen Persona 3, but not played it. I played a short demo of FES, though.

Crayons!

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Postby lookatthisisgoodatn » 2008.11.30 (18:40)

Pretty good, isn't it?
Anyways, you imitate Homer Simpson and ram one up your nose. It hits your brain, killing you.
How can a pair of fake boobs hurt you?
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Postby Sithmaster » 2008.11.30 (20:00)

you go for a plane ride, they air pressure getting to low, the fake ta-tas expand and then explode (but the chick looks really hot just before they go boom!)

a gentle pony
quotes of the old forum

Blue_Tetris: Wait, wait wait. Does this mean I can break the rules to provoke a reaction and not get banned?
...awesome! The next few days are gonna be some fun.

Someguy: Eagles may soar in the sky, but weasels never get sucked right into a jet engine

Steven Colbert: I see patterns where they don't where they don't exist!!!

Mosh: Fishing for fish only works if the fish are hungry. Don't ask the fish why they don't bite. Rather, consider why they aren't biting.
Or simply chuck a grenade in the lake, pick up the dead fish, and call it a day.

capt_weasle: Mare is actually reagan who is really Tsukatu, who is actually just God. And you can't say he isn't because that would mean he doesnt believe in himself. He just has a low self esteem. Poor guy.

Palemoon:thanks, maestro. Now i can stop smearing paste on my face with a broom

Animator:Eat those poor gingerbread men? For shame. Do you know how many widows are in a gingerbread family? Millions. They have been fighting a war with humanity ever since they were made just to survive and live, with no luck! Think of the children, man! Those poor gingerbread children who are orpahns now, because their moms and dads were eaten, AND THEY WILL SHARE THE SAME FATE TOO! It's saddening. Please, go out there and raise money to save this ever-endangered reality of sugar and bread. Please, for the sake of this kind... think of the oven.

Player 1:You may very well be the first person on the planet to have his faced caved in by a fistful of turkey. Congratulations.

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Click here to feed me a Rare Candy!
Get your own at Pokeplushies!
Tsukatu Twilight Rant

BELLA parks her car and enters the school.
EDWARD: "Hello, Bella. I am very awkward, and I am a vampire."
Freeze frame: the text "protagonist, and also a vampire" appears, and an arrow pointing from the text to EDWARD blinks a few times.
BELLA: "I am infatuated with you." (she turns to the camera) "I am unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I am infatuated with you, too, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Let's be awkward together." (she turns to the camera) "I am still unaware that Edward is a vampire."
EDWARD: "I completely agree, and I am very clearly a vampire."
(EDWARD does vampirey things.)
BELLA: "Thank you for saving my life."
EDWARD: "No problem, and I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is not human."
EDWARD: "I am a vampire."
BELLA: "Are you a superhero?"
EDWARD: "No, I am a vampire."
BELLA: "What are you then?"
EDWARD: "I am not the good guy; I am the bad guy." (he turns to the camera) "That was a lie. I am very much the good guy." (he turns back to Bella) "Specifically, I am a vampire."
BELLA: (to the camera) "I am beginning to suspect that Edward is a vampire."

JACOB: "Hello, Bella, and I am very clearly a werewolf. Look at my wacky canines."
BELLA: "What do you have against Edward, anyway?"
JACOB: "I am a werewolf."
BELLA: "I am convinced that you are a normal human being."
JACOB: "Everyone in my tribe is a werewolf. I am in my tribe; I am also a werewolf. We are all werewolves."
BELLA: "I have no reason to believe that you are more than human."

And what exactly is Bella's problem? Why does she fall head-over-heels with an anti-social, almost preternaturally awkward, whiny, mascara-wearing emo cunt?

lord_day

I guess the guy who wrote XKCD was right. You can't be too stupid for youtube.

brocerius

When i say 'Abortion is murder' i mean just that; it is the taking of life - in that, from conception, a fetus is as definably life as is a bacteria, a puppy, or Stephen Hawking. This is how i think it differs from contraception, masturbation, and not screwing Dave.

Blue_Tetris quotes (all taken from a topic on abortion)

Eating vegetables instead of meat lowers your sperm count, clearly killing potential children. Vegetarians are murderers.

If a chair comes into my house and I don't want it there, I do everything in my power to remove it. What makes you think you have more rights than a chair when you go into someone else's home unannounced?

If I'm sleeping around without a condom, I'm likely to have a child too. When I wear a condom, I prevent the likely child I would have. Condoms are for murderers. I'm good at picking up dates and getting them into the sack, so if I restrain myself from going clubbing then I am prventing a potential child. Non-socialites are murderers.

GTM

What ever happened to the purpose of Christmas anyway, I thought it was about elves smacking each other over the head with a shovel whilst Santa drank whisky and egged them on.

I give you a laser printer and set it to stun

Tsukatu

Deathconsciousness: "Deism is closer to atheism than theism."
Demonz: "Oh? How's that?"
Deathconsciousness: "Well, deism is the belief that there's a-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Sorry, you were saying?"
Deathconsciousness: "...a being that created the uni-"
Demonz: *grabs airhorn* *FNNNRRRRRRRRTT*
Deathconsciousness: "..."
Demonz: *puts down airhorn* "Please continue."
Deathconsciousness: "Are you going to let me finish this time?"
Demonz: "Given that I had to stop you twice just now in the same sentence, I don't think that's likely."
*Tsukatu wanders in*
Tsukatu: "Anyone seen my airhorn?"
Demonz: "Yeah, it's right here. I needed to borrow it for a sec. I knew you wouldn't mind."
Tsukatu: "Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'm just about to head into the Okay With Gays thread."
Demonz: "Here you go." *hands Tsukatu the airhorn*
Tsukatu: "Thanks." *exits the thread*
Demonz: "Where were we?"
Deathconsciousness: "I was saying how atheists also believe th-"
Demonz: "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
Deathconsciousness: (startled) "What was that?"
Demonz: "Sorry, I don't have the airhorn anymore. Do go on."
Deathconsciousness: "..."
*an airhorn sounds in a nearby thread*

deathconsciousness

a lack of belief is still a belief that something in itself is lacking. please dont be arrogant.

demonzlunchbreak

What the jesus balls are you talking about?


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Postby bhz » 2008.12.01 (22:42)

You attempt to ride it, then fall onto the cement. Serious injuries.
Air.
<Izzy> Who are you?
<Meta> I'm meta?
( #n-highscores )

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Postby isaacx » 2008.12.02 (17:10)

you try to kill air, and so it dies and you die

nothingness
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Postby Nan__d_Chaser » 2008.12.06 (04:20)

you try to jump into it but fall and hit your nose.

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Postby twentythree » 2008.12.06 (04:52)

In an attempt to avoid people tripping, they throw away your inhaler, not knowing what it is, and you die of an asthma attack.
A nail gun
23!!!!!
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Postby Rule » 2008.12.06 (09:37)

"A nail gun"?
You might decide to fix that lovely old chair that you once got from your grandpa. First you search everywhere in the house and then you see that you don't even have a nail gun. You go to your neighbours to ask for it, but they don't have one either. Well, the only thing you can still do then is to go to the shop and buy one. After you have bought one, you go back to your house. So, when you come home you look for some nails. Luckily for you, you do still have those! So, you start repairing that lovely chair. But, of course you are not so good when it comes to repairing things. So, while repairing the lovely chair, you suddenly shoot a nail into your hand. You start screaming really, really hard because it hurts like hell. The neighbours start running to your home because you screamed so loud that they could here you. First they show you they actually had a nail gun and then they start to help you. They want to put away the nail gun but then they shoot, accidentally of course, and it hits you in your eye and instantly kills you.
And that's how "A nail gun" can kill you.

evil_sire ^^
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Postby b3njamin » 2008.12.06 (12:31)

Evil_sire farts and kills me.

a banana

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Postby Nan__d_Chaser » 2008.12.06 (16:29)

You peel it and the peel falls to the gorund. Somebody slips on it and falls into lava.

WordPad
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Postby b3njamin » 2008.12.06 (16:35)

wordpad gets sick of being in a computer. So it made itself into a musled man and killed you.


a tampon

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Postby Ad » 2008.12.06 (20:13)

(I wouldn't read this)

You trip, land face first on the tampon, and swallow it. It gets lodged in your throat. The moisture is causing it to expand gradually, you're struggling to breathe. You need to take drastic action, now. You:

a) Put your fingers down your throat, attempting to trigger a gag reflex so you can grab the string and pull it back out as your own vomit causes you to seemingly regurgitate a tampon. It works, but the vomit doesn't push the tampon out, and it expands due to the added water content. The staff at the mortuary can't tell whether you were asphyxiated by your vomit or the tampon.

b) Grab a drink, aiming to dislodge it. Unfortunately, it backfires, and expands rapidly. You die in seconds. Twat. You would have at least you had a chance of survival with the whole vomit inducing thing.

---

A Tetris Game Boy cartridge.
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Postby Nan__d_Chaser » 2008.12.08 (00:21)

purse
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[/spoiler]

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Postby EdoI » 2008.12.08 (18:15)

Someone hits you in your head with a purse.

Sponge

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Postby Nan__d_Chaser » 2008.12.09 (01:21)

absorbs your sweat so you get dehydrated and die

rain
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Postby RedSham » 2008.12.09 (21:38)

The rain causes a massive flood, so you throw your mattress out of the window to stay on it to survive. Unfortunately, your mattress doesn't float...

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